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Newest Member: LoveBetrayed (45355)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My go to quote today from "Pass"
laney57
♀ Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

'I don't feel that he strayed because I wasn't good enough. He strayed because he wasn't."

Why the heck do I let him hurt me. One gaze across the room and I mean gaze... Such a careless gaze, and I still wonder why I wasn't good enough to fight for. Ugh... Yes, it's a new day! Hugs to all.


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
LadyQ
♀ Member
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is incredibly hard to wrap your head around, isn't it? pass speaks the truth. HE (meaning your ws, not pass!) wasn't good enough!


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
laney57
♀ Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Lady Q,
So true. Sometimes I think the act isn't as bad as the choice not to try. Oh he tried for about 4 months... And everytime I brought it up, I never knew what I would get. I don't know, it's so hard to get beyond this while we look at each other every day.
For ao long I kept going back to what I did. Everyone says it, I know. "It has nothing to do with you". Even he did. My head knows this, but in my darker hours...I go back there. Thanks for your reply :) I need it!


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XWH walked away, filed for D, and that was it. Looking back at it now, I'm sure it was for the best.

I didn't have to go through the push/pull that many here do - the uncertainty. He made it very clear he was done, so I could start working on my recovery right away.

Oh hell it was painful, but at least I knew where I stood.

Sending strength and peace.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7742 | Registered: Aug 2005
laney57
♀ Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NL,
Thank you for responding. I read your story and shook my head, grimaced a bit, and then smiled. It sounds like you are in a good place.
I got to thinking if there is a worse scenerio. It's all just awful, although a quick exit would have been horrible and I'm so sorry. Good think is, like you said... You got moving! Strong woman!
I was 20 when we married and he 22. I don't know, besides our beautiful children, I can only say that 6 years were really good and I felt safe. Who would have thought that's when his vacation happened. "No big deal" ugh!! You give me hope and I thank you!t


Update 09/28/14
Me - BS, 44
Him - WH, 46
Married - 23 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me still
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
Divorcing 09/28/14

Posts: 230 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
myperfectlife
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Most of the time I prefer to believe that I am too good for him to truly fight for.
And yes, he's not good enough to fight for me either.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, Laney.

Still I suffer trying to believe all the people saying, "it's not you, it's him. He's broken." I see and hear evidence of this, but have doubt that creeps in and causes setbacks.

Some of it I can grasp and it helps, but doesn't make the hurt gone.

And I think to myself, and people have said, that his life wasn't so terrible here. He rewrites it to justify what he did and continues to do.

But still, the hurt of remembering all I put myself through to try to please that man and "keep" him (before I knew of OW and others)...

Yes. I know your hurt. It is a constant companion.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2287 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, August 3rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I leave town with my kids for a couple days, and find out I'm quoted? Cool!

Yep a friend who has been cheated on twice told me that about her ex-husbands, it totally applies to The Princess too.

As a matter of fact, it applies to ALL our waywards! It just takes us a long time to realize that.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2095 | Registered: Jan 2013
Topic Posts: 8

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