Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Mysurvival (43128)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When does it stop?
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 2:32 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All,

I am so tired.

My WS and his mistress will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the start of their affair on Monday. They met at the Fiesta Parade after party last year, and tomorrow is the parade. I have been separated from him for over 8 months.

Trying to identify my feeling.....sad, depressed, lonely and feel that I will never be the woman I was before. I can see how damaged my trust is. I can see how afraid I am. I have erected huge walls around my heart, so I don't know if I will ever be able to love again. I loved him and trusted him and it all blew up in my face.....I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, but I can't see how I can ever possibly trust a man again. And that makes me so sad......I so believed in love, marriage and commitment.

The gut wrenching pain has lessened, which I am grateful for. The anger is starting to lift as well, so I can see some progress.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to have these reminders of what I had. I don't want to see reminders of the affair - the damn parade now just represents lies and deceit. I don't want his attorney harassing me for disclosures. I feel like my entire life is under scrutiny.

I feel like everywhere I look, my life is a disaster. Financial (my son's medical bills plus still trying to pay down the credit card from when he wasn't giving me any money), my self confidence is trashed, weird things with my friend, my lack of trust blew up in my face big time this week and now I have hurt someone that I never intended to hurt (so now I feel like shit). I feel so broken.

I just want to crawl into bed and stay there. But I can't, it's just me to deal with everything. And I feel overwhelmed right now.

I was feeling better a week ago. But now I feel guilty for hurting my friend, I feel like I need to stay away from people right now, because I am just turning everything to crap.

God, I just want to get through this and start my life over again.......

Separated, divorcing.

Posts: 436 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
♀ New Member
Member # 37163
Default  Posted: 2:38 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is hard to deal by yourself. You need to find some help. There are wonderful groups out there... Try BAN ( Beyond affair network)

Posts: 24 | Registered: Oct 2012
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Sissi12,

I did look into BAN but there are no meetings anywhere near me. Thanks for the suggestion!

Separated, divorcing.

Posts: 436 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, August 2nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Just wanted to let you know that you have been heard.

I am so sorry that you are hurting right now.

"The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth." - Leo Tolstoy

Posts: 4448 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.