So, I found a way to see what is on his Facebook. This guy lives overseas, and generally has a 2 week break in July, so this year, he was coming here to see his kids for 10 days. This guy gives me and them minimal CS and SS, as little as he can get away with. You know, "because it costs SO much to come visit, AND things are tight for ME, too!!"
So, because things are so "tight" for him, and he has to send so much money to his horrible ex-wife (yours truly), that's why he has a brand new shiny car in his driveway. That's why he could afford to take an extra week off work to holiday in a few of this side of the country's most expensive tourist spots before coming to see his kids. That's why, after leaving the kids back at home (and giving his oldest child, who is not mine, a whole hour and a half dinner out of that entire visit ), he can meander through the mountains, staying in resort towns and then fly down to Disneyland with his teeny-bopper girlfriend, for another few days. I guess he had to round out that "Disney Dad" moniker for real.
Poor, poor baby. Yeah, money's real tight.
And it really bugs me to see all his FB friends all congratulatory and "jealous" of his "amazing holiday".
I don't "check up" on WXH often, but sometimes do because he is known to be into deviant sexual stuff
Let him go. Block him. Block the teeny-bopper.
Look forward, not back.
Live your life. Happily. (FYI you don't sound happy in this post, just a little bitter.)
When he says he can't give his kids money, but he's out living the extravagant life, I guess it bugs me a little, yes. Maybe even "bitter" in this moment.
I check an email account that he never uses, but I still have the password for. And not often. And some deviant stuff HAS come in there. This happened to be a link from his email, and yeah, I know, I don't need to go there, and haven't seen his facebook in about 3 years until now. I have him and OW blocked. A moment of weakness and I felt the need to vent. That's all.
[This message edited by Griefstricken25 at 8:43 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]
Let him go. Block him. Block the teeny-bopper.
He is a POS, he is a deadbeat dad, he is a lying sack of shit - you already know all of this, you haven't learned anything new nor will you.
All you're doing is picking at that scab. Don't put yourself through this.
NC = Detachment = Healing.
So yeah, this bugs me.
I know all about NC. Just needed to vent.
I looked up the address where my STBXH is currently living and the rent is 4x what I'm paying for the tiny apartment for me and the four kids.
They will get their "karm-uppance" sooner or later...
It's not fair. I wish justice DID exist.
I understand this vent. He IS what he is whether you look at it or not. That is not going to change. It is what it is. The information to confirm that he is a POS selfish ass can come at you in lots of different ways. I understand this too. The kids are young enough that they tell/repeat all the "super fun" stuff dad tells them. It fucking HURTS to hear sometimes. (((hugs))) to us both.
We picked quality losers. Like finds like on FB and congratulates each other.
I'm probably extra sensitive BECAUSE the kids just came from a visit with him and he has been the CAT'S MEOW every, freakin' day! I'm tired of hearing about him. I'm tired of every sentence coming out of my 3 year old starting with, "When we were with Daddy..."
And now you know why we say NC=No New Hurts. Checking his facebook only hurts you and changes nothing.
I understand, I really do. My X owes me an ungodly amount of back CS. One time he showed up here with a new car, new iPhone, and new clothes....right after I had to tell DD that I could not get her an iPhone for her birthday because I could not afford it!! I nearly ripped him a new one she he lamely said "My family helps me.". Yeah, they help him and wifetress and her kids but not their own grandchild.
Whatever. I don't need the drama. And so I stepped away. Best.thing.I.ever.did. Seriously, for my own sanity. I don;t need to here about his woes of money while he flies all over the world. (my X also lives overseas now).
I alos know that you hurt for your kids. That what my X does to DD is so much worse to me than what he ever did to me. I am big girl, I can take it. But to fuck with my dear sweet child?? Just because he is a selfish twit?? Yeah, that burns me up. Which is another reason I do not monitor him. I can honestly say "I don't know" if she asks me any questions about him. I can give her basics ("He moved overseas") but that is it.
and (((more hugs))) for you and your kids
❣I hope my issues don't discourage ur healing. I've buried a lot & my WH hasn't done his part in R❣