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Newest Member: Puddleoftears (44334)

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User Topic: struggling to understand
sunshine226
♀ Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i just dont get it, things between us were good, sex life was great and we were in the process of building a new home. Our son was all grown up and was on his own, daughter was a teenager, so almost had an empty nest when the focus would be shifting back to US.

He had a good paying job and all was good. Then he cheated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We struggled years ago when son was little, but we got through all of that, so I am really having a hard time trying to find where this all went to hell. I know this is all on him, but I just trying to figure it all out, I know I probably never will

None of this makes any sense to me, was he always this man and I just didnt see it, he has destroyed everything

Our son has a son of his own now, and he is 5 months old and WH has never seen him, doesnt have any contact with son at all, and very little contact with our daughter. She wanted him to come to a sports event she was participating in back in February and it was in the city he lives in now with the OW, but he never showed up, told me it was because OW wanted to go too.

He is such a damn coward, even told me that he wishes she would do what I did, which was kick him out, well that isnt going to happen, she got it too good with him there, using him to the fullest

I will never understand how or why, so i guess i just have to accept that


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sunshine...

I'm bumping this for others to jump in and offer you some support.

I'm sorry you're struggling...I hope things get a little bit easier for you.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196573 | Registered: May 2002
travels
♀ Member
Member # 20334
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Take one day at a time. When that seems too much take it one moment at a time.

Are you in IC?


When one door closes, another door opens. It's the journey through the hallway that sucks.

Posts: 3760 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: PA
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:36 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did this. Constantly tried to make it make sense! If I could understand then maybe I could ... fix it? Get over it? Not make that mistake again?

I was told over and over again on these boards that "you can't make sense out of nonsense." So much of the behaviors are foreign and to some degree impossible to put in our own situation. To just walk away doesn't make sense!!

Acceptance of the present doesn't mean being okay with the actions that led us here.

Congratulations on your grandson!!

and (((hugs))) for your struggle.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5618 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
sunshine226
♀ Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

just a bad day, thankfully I dont get as many now, but they do sneak up on me once in a while

Not in IC and doing ok, I've gotten a lot of strength through my kids and grandsons, I have everything and WH has nothing. All he got is 2 duffle bags of clothes and a car. Everything else we had together is still here, we live in a rural area and he is now living in the city so he has no use for his toys out there.

DD and I are living in our new home, enjoying driving his truck that he always wanted. And although I didnt ask for it, all our family and friends are on my side, well all but his brother and his wife who have added OW on FB

But I am going to be ok, I've gotten this far, gotten by without him living here, taken care of house stuff and truck stuff, taking care of our daughter and I am there for our son and grandsons.

He is gone and he has lost it all because of his own choices, and one day he will come to his senses but there will be no going back, it will be too late, and he will be the loser


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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