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User Topic: Ariel Castro-Language warning
EasyDoesIt
♀ Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure where this post belongs.

I watched the victim impact statements in the Ariel Castro case and then his statements. Huge triggers. Sent me into a tailspin, I'm not handling this well.

My situation was in no way comparable to the women he tortured but a lot of what happened to them happened to me too. When he was done making his statement and the judge spoke, the judge brought up that the women were kept on chains. Instant flashback to when I heard Fucktard-ex-spousal-unit tell our son that all women should be kept on chains and every man should have a universal key to unlock them and then lock them back up when they were finished.

I lived in that horror 20 years. The women were actually afraid to leave the house, they were conditioned to their prison. OMG

Castro said repeatedly that he wasn't a monster, that they weren't virgins when he took them, that most of what happened was consensual, that the home was "harmonious." Sick fuck he is. He said he never had a record until he married his wife. He blamed the girls for getting into his truck. It's everyone's fault but his. He isn't a monster. Don't you get it? It's how WE perceive what happened that makes it wrong, because he certainly believes that he did nothing wrong. He even said that.

I guess to an abusive psychopath keeping a woman on a chain is "normal" and "harmonious."

I've been doing so well with only a few blips on the radar but this has sent me over the edge. You know what else has? The series, "Dexter." That guy has the behavior and body language of a murderous psychopath down cold. I don't know why I'm drawn to the show. It didn't dawn on me until last week how much like my ex his behavior and mannerisms are, even the shifting eyes. When I realized why I was so fascinated there was a cold chill that ran down my back and then I started sweating.

It's why I will never date again. I'm drawn to the wrong kind of man.

It's early here and I'm handling this with wine, lots of wine. I don't care that it's not a good choice, it's slowing my heart rate down. OMG what a nightmare and I'm wondering if the day will ever come that I don't flip out and trigger over sick things that remind me of him.

[This message edited by EasyDoesIt at 2:07 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EasyDoesIt)))

I wish I was there to give you a great big hug


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198316 | Registered: May 2002
MylarPineapples
♀ Member
Member # 39570
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't personally relate to his statement the way you did, but I still found it very, very disturbing. It really kind of scared the crap out of me, to know that there are men walking around in the world who seem perfectly normal, but think that way inside their own heads. He even carried on a seemingly normal relationship with a girlfriend during some of the time he had women locked up in his house. Absolutely scary. I'm sorry it has upset you so much.


Me: BS, Him: WH, 3 kids
8/08: EA with former neighbor
1/13: EA/Sexting with Coworker #1
6/13: Sexting with Coworker #2

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jun 2013
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Easy))) I am so sorry. Please don't watch anymore about this monster.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
zebra25
♀ Member
Member # 29431
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EasyDoesIt)))


Me-BS 40's
Him-WH 40's
D-day April 2010
Married-20+yrs

Posts: 694 | Registered: Aug 2010
heartache101
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EasyDoesIt)))

Don't watch that anymore...

I am sooo sorry..


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3188 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
EasyDoesIt
♀ Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, friends. I didn't know that it was going to affect me like that. I watched it and was troubled, but handling it. Then the judge said something about the women being kept on chains. I felt like someone punched me in the stomach and squeezed my heart. Kind of surreal. No, there won't be any more of my attention focused on that nightmare.

I guess my ex seemed normal to a lot of people but he never had any long-term friends except friends that he knew in high school or the Navy, friends who he only spoke to on the phone. Anyone who listened to him for any length of time had better sense than me.

After I wrote that post I went outside and prepared my new raised bed gardens with landscape fabric and cardboard boxes. My best friend and her husband built them for me. We're off on a juicing journey to get healthy and lose weight. Nimrod would never let me have a garden so this is a victory. A small one, but a big one too.

Thank you for being here. And admins, thank you for not booting me off during my recent tangents.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((EDI))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2611 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And admins, thank you for not booting me off during my recent tangents

Good Grief EasyDoesIt.. that is what we are here for. Vent here, hurt here, heal here. We've got you.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44975 | Registered: Sep 2006
EasyDoesIt
♀ Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Grief EasyDoesIt.. that is what we are here for. Vent here, hurt here, heal here. We've got you.

Thank you, Metamorphisis. Many thanks.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((EDI)))

I understand this kind of trigger. It is when something that has been "entertaining" (like Dexter) or keeping up with the news hits unexpectedly close to a tender place. The same thing happened to me with the show House, MD.

Damned monsters should LOOK like monsters!

I am glad you got your hands in the dirt.

And meta, that was the nicest reassurance I have ever read. This is such a safe place to heal.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5861 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
uncertainone
♀ Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Boy, do I get this, Easy!!!! I feel the same way. The fact he's still breathing makes me almost physically ill. General population and a blind eye.

(((easydoesit)))

Monsters are very real


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
Topic Posts: 12

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