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User Topic: Silver lining
ceilingwalker
♂ Member
Member # 39948
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My mother was one of those women that could find something good about every event or situation. Sure wish she were alive, she would have been a huge help right now but anyway. I followed her advice and have found my "Silver Lining". My D-Day walking in on my wife with another man was 4 weeks ago, yesterday. In 4 weeks, I have lost 21 pounds as I still have no appetite at all. I force myself to eat little bits of things but I haven't had a real meal in all this time. I had a 40" waist and have had to dig my 36" waist pants out of storage. So, there is a positive to all of this.


My handle is a name my grandpa gave me (ceilingwalker) because he used to tell me I drive him up the wall. LOL

Posts: 57 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Phoenix
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Its good to try to see positives. I have found a lot of them through this journey. There have been so many realized and rediscovered part of me that I have lost over the years. Like my ability to see my toes when I look down.

But seriously getting in touch with aspects of myself that I have abandoned over the years has been an lightening experience. I will never compromise myself again!!!


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ceilingwalker)))) My biggest silver lining is the friendships and supportive family I have found here at SI. Some of the very best people I have ever had the pleasure to know.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24350 | Registered: Aug 2011
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ceiling....write the silver linings down and revisit them on days that don't go quite as well for you. My journal helped me see that I was moving forward and getting better.

I feel as strongly as Chico does about not compromising myself again. Even though the A still stings and life can still suck I have refound who I was so many years ago. For the first time in over 20 years I feel like I am my own person again.

It is nice to see a positive post. Thank you for sharing this. We all like to see someone smile in all this hell!

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
BoardPearl
♀ Member
Member # 25463
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are definitely silver linings, even with infidelity. You just have to know where to look.

I remember it was near impossible to see anything positive at all during those early months.

After finding this site, it started to make more sense to me. This site is God send.


Posts: 1114 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Europe
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have also experienced some "Silver Linings", I just don't feel ready to acknowledge that his "choice" has anything good associated with it. I might in time but right now, I just don't want to.

I have lost 50 pounds and regained the use of my knee.

I can run, garden, feel like myself again, physically anyways.

I have finally understood that I deserve respect, kindness, that I have value. Sad that I never new before that there was more to life than survival, but now I know and have a chance to find my happy. This is the biggest change of all, a work in progress.

I am grateful for the changes but hate the cause.

Hopefully with more time and respect and kindness from h I will not still feel so conflicted about it all.


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

divorcing


Posts: 1232 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
ceilingwalker
♂ Member
Member # 39948
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hopefully with more time and respect and kindness from h I will not still feel so conflicted about it all.

cantaccept, if you are getting respect and kindness from him, count your blessings. The past few days my wife has been nice to me but for the past 13 years, especially after walking in on her in my bed with another guy, she has been meaner than ever to our boy's and I.


My handle is a name my grandpa gave me (ceilingwalker) because he used to tell me I drive him up the wall. LOL

Posts: 57 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Phoenix
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My "silver lining" is learning to put myself first instead of being such a roll over martyr.

And without saying all of you guys who have been my counselors, sounding board, supporters, etc!


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2069 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep the infidelity diet, it works!


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 9

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