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User Topic: he actually said this - sad
TheRealDeal
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will never comprehend how they can be so insensitive, so clueless, so out of touch with reality. It's incredible

he said that because we weren't married, it shouldn't be as big a deal.

no, we're not married, but that doesn't take away the horrific pain of his actions.

after reading as much SI as I do I should know better but how can someone say that? it's just one of many daggers thrust into my heart.

I was having a "strong" day with no tears and then that comment came out.


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 250 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
ArableSands
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You were together EIGHTEEN YEARS and just because you guys don't have a piece of paper that says you were married it shouldn't MATTER AS MUCH?

Show him this message from me. As a married man, I can tell him he needs to pull his head out of his ass and FUCKING APOLOGIZE to you, right goddamned now!!

JESUS!!


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
Dallas2
♀ Member
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree with ArableSands 100%..

He is trying to minimize this in his head.


Me

Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2010
TheRealDeal
♀ Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your support ArableSands

like you I was so incredibly pissed when he said it a bit earlier this afternoon but now it's just turned to tears

I knew SI would understand. couldn't hold my emotions in any longer


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 250 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
Loyalty2Liberty
♀ Member
Member # 36714
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The hits just keep on coming with douches like this one, and you've just encountered an old classic.

I wish nobody would ever be put through this kind of thing, ever. So needless, so cruel.


me:BW
him:stbxWh


Posts: 236 | Registered: Sep 2012
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That man's lower bowel must be squeaky, shiny clean from all of the insertions of his head that he manages to do on a daily basis. He's going to need adult diapers if and when he ever pulls it fully out.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TheRealDeal)))

That's pretty awful. Sometimes people will say anything to minimize their accountability...

Commitment is commitment - you don't need a piece of paper to back you up.

I'm so sorry. Sending hugs.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17758 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
notquiteoverit
♀ Member
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

18 years together is a long time and it doesn't matter if you are married or not. The pain is no different, and it is still a HUGE deal.

WS and I had been together 23 years when he cheated, and have now been together 26. We are not married in the legal sense of the word, but we have a commitment to each other that is just as sacred as a piece of paper. When he was in the affair, he told me that the OW once made the comment to him, "It's not like you are married." I think it was just her way to coming up with justifications for her disgusting behavior. Looks like your WS is just looking for ways to downplay his behavior. He needs to really get how you feel. Are you seeing an MC who can help get this across to him?


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 576 | Registered: Jul 2011
fyou143
♀ Member
Member # 36618
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((The realdeal))

I can so relate to you. My WH yesterday told me a stupid insensitive comment as well. We got in an argument just because I was asking him a question. He threw up his hands said he was never going to talk to no one that that is how i want it that i'm jealous and that I will just reap what I sow for it! <--- yea it pissed me off


BS(me) - 26
WH - 34
DDay 6/24/12 at 2:04 p.m.
DDay 2 5/8/13-5/22/13 KIK App
2 Children ages 5 (boy) and 2 (girl)
I'm sorry is a statement I won't do it again is a promise how do i make it up to you is a responsibility

Posts: 144 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
16forever
♀ Member
Member # 37255
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We were married but when he moved out to be with her HE DECIDED we were separated so it was ok ........ Ya sure what ever guess I didn't get the memo


Me:BS
Him:WS
3 awesome kids

Posts: 179 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: My own nightmare
sunshine226
♀ Member
Member # 38851
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he would be singing a different tune if you had been the one who cheated!!!

WH and I never married, but we had 2 kids together and in my heart he was my husband and i thought i was his wife

But OW eagerly informaed me one time that WH told her we were broke up, sleeping in separate beds for 2 years and he told her that he never put a ring on my finger. Well the ring part is true but the rest was bullshit. As a matter of fact, our relationship was good, we were getting along, and building a brand new home, and NOT sleeping in separate beds.

I guess they say anything to justify their behaviour


Me-BS (44)
Him-WS (47)
DDay 1/1/2012, common law for 22 1/2 years when he began A in September 2011
Status: moving on without him

Posts: 234 | Registered: Mar 2013
Topic Posts: 11

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