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Newest Member: Ugh123 (44903)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Phone Sex ...
livebythesea
♀ Member
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had it out tonight, yes I had a few glasses of wine. Wine does lessen the pain. I kept at him for the truth about those fucking phone sex calls etc. I am not sure what all took place, (cant remember) but he did say I was "fucking insane", and he did say "fuck you". Now he is giving me the silent treatment, and wont speak. Like the old days, that is what he did. Shut me out, silent treatment ... made me feel guilty, like it is all my fault. He is at it again. I am wiser today, (not stronger right now, but I will) I consider him out of my life. It is only a matter of time.


HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (told me a lie)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 195 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, July 29th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At first I was going to move out. But I am not. He will

Yes, he should leave, not you.

Speak with a lawyer ASAP and take half of everything out of your bank accounts. All of this doesn't mean you have to D. But if you do, you need to protect yourself financially, because he is not going to be "nice" and give you what you deserve.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
HurtButHopeful?
♀ Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((livebythesea)))))


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
Gipper
♂ Member
Member # 32232
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If phone sex is "nothing", what is to keep him from doing it again? Since it doesn't really mean anything. Sounds like you still have a mess. Keep the hammer down and get what you need or get out. Sorry for you.

Posts: 717 | Registered: May 2011
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, July 30th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do you feel guilty?
He is manipulating you if you do. This is abuse plain and simple.

He gets all blustery, and then as you say shuts you out. Good let him pout, and act like a spoiled kid. Wait him out, don't talk to him, give him a good hard 180. I mean absolutetly no communication with him, no doing his laundry, no cooking his meals. Take care of you. Protect your heart.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not feel guilty for this. YOU did NOTHING wrong. He has you basically brainwashed into believing that you pushing, and you making demands is unacceptable, and then he manipulates you into guilt and shame. DO NOT ALLOW IT !!!!
It's hard to stop that cycle, but not impossible. When you start to make those changes, and realize that you are the one in the right, that you aren't the one who is crazy, or out of control, or whatever line of BS he throws at you, it will give you strength.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go see an attorney. Get some good sound advice on what S and D would look like for you. You deserve so much more than what he is giving you.

(((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8442 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
2yrs+recovering
♀ Member
Member # 31582
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, July 31st (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think if I were you I would have it too...

My FWH and I have R over 4 years now and the first two years he was truly remorseful.

Last year he stopped IC and has slowly gone back to his old ways, not infidelity, but treating me poorly and verbally abusive.

Two weeks ago, over a silly thing we started to argue and he called me a f--- C--t bitch.

He knows the "C" word is the worst thing he can say to me.
He did apologize but really thinks it was no big deal.

But for me after all the years of crap I put up with it just might be the last straw!!!

I think if he was not remorseful at the beginning, enough is enough, Kick his ass out and maybe he will have an epiphany!!!


BS (me)59 FWH 71
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 560 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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