All of us here understand your pain and confusion we have been there. Please vent, ask questions, read throughout the site. A good place to start is the healing library in the upper left corner of the screen.
Try to take care of yourself. Eat sleep drink plenty of water.
"Knowing is half the battle"
Expecting progress not perfection
And try to eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. This is a very stressful time and you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your children!
Take care of yourself and your young ones, you will get through this.