Topic: Is it hard to stick up for yourself?
Member # 1865
| Posted: 2:51 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013|
Just wondering if anyone see's this issue in themselves
The last two relationships I've had lasted through bad behavior and I didn't leave until my family was insulted or it affected them. NO matter I was allowing myself to be taken for granted (and realized it, but denied it), but when my children or grandchildren were disregarded or not treated well, that was when my brain kicked in and said enough.
I wonder why I didn't leave before that happened? Why would I take bad behavior, and only act when it was spilling over to my family? This latest time, no one in my family had to experience it - what occurred was only known to me.
Life is too damn short to waste in on a sociopath cheater! There really are some nice guys out there, but after what you've gone through (after all, you are a member of this site, right?) they might seem a little boring at first. UPDATE! Wait,
Posts: 1770 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Los Angeles
Member # 34146
| Posted: 9:24 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013|
I think that pertains to a lot of us BSs. I know that I will never put up with bad behavior again. I think a lot of it has to come from valuing yourself enough to say no. Sadly, many of us didn't value ourselves enough. But we can start doing so! Good for you for recognizing this about yourself and taking action!
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 33698
| Posted: 9:31 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013|
Yes-- my whole family thought that I was settling when I decided to marry XWH. I definitely had a negative view of myself and put up with a lot of his garbage because I thought that I couldn't do any better.
Like phmh said, I'm happy that I have the chance to do things over again and to view myself as someone who is worthy of a more giving and healthy relationship. I wish the same for you.
BS (Me) 39
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley
Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 36134
| Posted: 3:53 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013|
I am learning to speak up with each subsequent relationship since my marriage. It's tough.
Get my kids involved and I go into mother bear mode. I need to figure out why I don't go all mother bear for myself?
I keep telling myself its a process but I wonder if I have always put up with bad behavior.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Posts: 4841 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 36336
| Posted: 6:54 AM, July 29th (Monday), 2013|
I find that I also put up with alot and don't stick up for what is right for me. I find I try to "help" too much and put myself last.....again like I did in my marriage. I'm a wore out rug.
The only person that can make you happy is you. Do as I say, not as I do.
Posts: 113 | Registered: Aug 2012
|Topic Posts: 5|