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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Just triggered and walked out if the house
Phoenix9572
♀ Member
Member # 39987
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our 14 y o just told us he broke up with his first girlfriend. My WH asked him if he liked anyone else. Son answered yes but she's older and said you can't go after upperclassmen. My WH is shaking his head and I believe is about to tell him about his he dated a college girl while in high school.
Now both WH ONS were with older women and he recently was caught texting with an older woman. He doesn't understand why this is a hot button for me!!! He had the nerve to be mad at me for circumventing a conversation with out son. It is not my fault they have a crappy relationship but he was sure blame shifting to me. He stormed off to the basement and I'm sitting in a grocery parking lot. Ugh!!!! Somebody please talk me down.


Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
canteat
♀ Member
Member # 39636
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I don't know much about how to handle triggers-especially the ones that blindside you. Have you visited the healing library yet? there's a lot of good info there. *hugs*


Me: BW 42
Him: WH 47
Married 9 years-together 18
Dday: 6/17/2013 EA/PA(EA 1yr/PA 6mos-OW out of state)
status: Starting R 7/22/13

Posts: 151 | Registered: Jun 2013
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Angry  Posted: 10:49 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have every right to be upset. OMG - really? How insensitive can he be?

I won't talk you down but I will implore you to consider defining your boundaries.

What are you willing to put up with and what aren't you? Be your own advocate.

Your WH is off base, totally disrespectful and just wrong. Hold him accountable.

It's been 2 months since your DDay. And he is acting pious? Bullsh*t.

This stops when you say it does. He is not remorseful or he'd be holding your hand reassuring you during this conversation vs. battling you.

Shame on him.

Head up. Onward.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Apr 2013
Phoenix9572
♀ Member
Member # 39987
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stayed out for about an hour until i felt like i wouldnt be a crying mess. He was still downstairs watching tv and i went to bed to journal.
When he came to bed he didnt realize i was home and made a big deal that he wasnt going to sleep in bed with me.
i tried to make him understand about triggers and that i was even trying to get him to stop before it really upset me. I also explained that i am really struggling with not feeling like i can get all my questions answered. He really doesnt want to answer any more and wants to ask our MC about it. He even said he wants me to let him read all the questions first nefore he will answer


Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
Duffy1958
♀ Member
Member # 39755
Default  Posted: 3:56 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would be pissed off. Totally. 1.Don't talk to my son in flippant manner when trying to teach him in matters of the heart 2.Don't you dare act obtuse about "the older woman" aspect of the lying, cheating, robbing etc he did 3.be real careful about jumping out of my bed to prove a point. That's a pretty huge deal in my book & you better have a big ass reason, not something like he is pulling. I might want to prove the point it is a privilege to be in my bed.

Stick to your guns. Don't give an inch. You & your son are worth far more consideration than he is showing. I would start an exit plan. You can use it or not.


Me-SAHW soon 55
Him-asshat age 60
Married 3.5 years together 13.5
Step-children 8 altogether Grandchildren.
Cheaters are the same yesterday, today & forever. They may have different caveats but they lie the same & pull the same shit.

Where i


Posts: 114 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Topic Posts: 5

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