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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Another shining example of awesome parenting
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My God. This train wreck just keeps getting better.

I had to take DD (6) to the ER. I got her there, got us in a room and texted her father early in the morning to let him know we were there and what they thought may be the problem. I contemplated not telling him unless it was really serious but I always act the way I would want him to act and I would be pissed if he ever kept an ER visit from me.

Anyway, his office is not far from there so he could have come to see her and hold her hand. Instead, he said "is it bad enough that I need to be there?". WTF? So, if they aren't slicing her open it's not worth the effort?

Fine. So I told him not to bother.

That was at 9 a.m. He never again got in touch to talk to her or ask how she's doing.

He then picked up the older DS for dinner. I kept DD home obviously. Instead of using this time to have a good one on one with DS, which he never gets, he picked him up for dinner and is dropping him almost two hours earlier than normal. Far be it from us to keep him and the slunt from starting their weekend bender later than they want.

Every time he does something like this, it pisses me off. It doesn't hurt me as much, but it pisses me off. My IC reminds me not to take it personally. Hes just weak, stupid and extremely selfish. He has no ability to put others first, not even his kids.

Regardless, I still think he should never get the benefit of them if he doesn't ever want to get his hands dirty as a parent! If he doesn't want the early morning ER trips, the tears over bad days at school, and the midnight vomiting, then he shouldn't get their laughter, their hugs and their love.

Fucker!


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2748 | Registered: Jan 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a guy!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9461 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel you girl.

One night, DS6 got a laceration right next to his eye trying to play limbo under a pool noodle between 2 wooden chairs and fell to the side and hit one of the chair supports. Man those hits to the face can gush some blood..

I texted POS a picture and said I was taking him to the ER (which is less than 5 minutes from his house).. All I got was "OK. How the fuck did that happen?" So I told him.

End of his involvement.

Did he come to the ER? Did he pay his half of the copay? Did he ask how he was doing the next couple days? Did he put the scar cream on as was suggested in the discharge instructions? Nope, nope, nope, nope..

Fuckers..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2060 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. Seriously, for some of them, it's out of sight, out of mind. I wonder if my kids even exist to XWH when they're with me. My DS #2 had a medical crisis (that did not end up with hospitalization, thankfully), and I emailed XWH after it happened, told him the details, etc. I got total crickets until he needed to email me about something unrelated, and then he threw in a "Is DS #2 okay?" at the end. I guess I should be thrilled that he threw me those crumbs.

DS #1 told me the other night that he felt that the Owife "was really focused on Dad." It's really sad when the kids are left on the back burner because the cheaters are so controlled by or obsessed with their APs.

FTG, for sure.


(((suckstobeme)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3571 | Registered: Oct 2011
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Posts like these make me and and


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2138 | Registered: Oct 2012
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regardless, I still think he should never get the benefit of them if he doesn't ever want to get his hands dirty as a parent! If he doesn't want the early morning ER trips, the tears over bad days at school, and the midnight vomiting, then he shouldn't get their laughter, their hugs and their love.

I feel this too! I reason with myself that the contrast shows the involved parenting in a really good light comparatively.

And my favorite oft repeated mantra... his parenting time does not belong to him. It belongs to my boys. My boys deserve a relationship with their father, regardless of how flawed it is or how deficient.

I say that so much that typing it out caused me to sing song it in my head. sigh. It is a SMALL comfort indeed.

(((hugs))) to you and DD. Glad it wasn't serious enough to bring daddy over from work.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5747 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm pretty sure mine would behave the same way. And I would be torn with it.

Part of me would be like "you couldn't drive 5 fucking minutes to see if your daughter was doing ok in the ER?" and the other part of me would feel "I'm glad I didn't have to sit with him and look at his fucking face while he played hero dad"


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3276 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Part of me would be like "you couldn't drive 5 fucking minutes to see if your daughter was doing ok in the ER?" and the other part of me would feel "I'm glad I didn't have to sit with him and look at his fucking face while he played hero dad"

For my son, I really wished he cared enough to come.. For me, I was actually praying he wouldn't show. We were there like 5 hours. No f-ing way did I want to be near him that long..

But no followup calls or texts to see how he was doing? That really ticked me off..

An no, I don't feel he deserves the fun without putting the work in either.. Lucky for my kids, I'm superwoman and can do both..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2060 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Un-fucking-believable.

Wild horses couldn't keep me away if either of my little girls were in ER.

WTF is wrong with these people????


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5527 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!

Stupid fucktard doesn't know the TREASURE that is PARENTING YOUR CHILDREN.

Yeah. FTG.


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 24 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 29
Dday: Dec 2008
re-separated (in-house), for good (??) <-- should really remove these, shouldn't I...

Posts: 2541 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amazing that parenting your child is considered a convenience. If the time is inconvenient they don't have time to give their kids.

With 4 kids, unfortunately I have lots of stories like this. His standard text "Thanks for the heads up" . I get it for tests, surgeries, broken bones, ER visits, to labor and baby arrival . I am almost grateful, anything more might mean I have to engage.

Hugs. And I am glad your DD is better.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4987 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
flygirl123
♀ Member
Member # 32672
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always gotten the same shit.

My middle had his tonsils out last summer...I not only called...I texted...AND I wrote a letter.

He didn't show.

Son didn't notice.

I took care of him post surgery and the hellish few days that followed.

Captain Useless called to cancel his visitation for a trip with his woman, the howrecker, and I

LOST MY SHIT

His response? "Oh yeah...how did that go?"

Needless to say...I no longer call him if anything happens to the kids...NOT...AT...ALL. He just gets the bills...which he NEVER pays...

But I refuse to subject myself and my kids to any more than absolutely necessary anymore.

Hugs to you and your babies. It's hard, God knows I know...big hugs.


Me...40 and fabulous
WXH...just plain stupid
DS's...9,7 and 6
DDays that are too numerous to mention...but no longer have relevance.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Illinois Cornfields
Topic Posts: 12

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