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User Topic: Had a pathetic moment today..... sometimes I miss companionship
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Concerned  Posted: 12:16 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So.... the only human interaction I get is either work-related... or occurs within the 5 minutes before and after work when I pick up my daughter.... (excluding special events when I get to see friends on the weekends and stuff like that....which is not often at all)

I call my sister twice a day now during the 15 minutes that I pump at work and actually look forward to talking to a real adult for a little bit.

But...today she was too busy to talk and I had a weird moment. I hung up the phone....continued pumping....and broke into tears. I don't know if that was hormones or what... but sometimes its heartbreaking not having someone to talk to. My friends and family have busy lives....and I totally get that.

I think I miss companionship and the friendship I had with my XWH more than the sex or romantic crap. I don't mind being single for the most part.... but I still have my moments..

And, this was one of them.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 12:17 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get that Shelly, totally.

It has been over 2.5 years of being single now, and I think I miss the really small things more than anything. Having someone to talk to at night is one of them.

Hang in there!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4005 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having someone to talk to at night is one of them.

This is how I feel. I don't so much miss the sex (maybe a little! But, I have B.O.B(s) for that ) or the romantic stuff.... but more someone to talk to regularly... cuddle with.... have dinner with.... etc. Like you said.....its the simple things I miss most..


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DUPLICATE POST

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:29 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG...it doesn't help that a 67 year old man just sent me an email on the O.L.D site! REALLY???? He's 23 years older than me AND 2 years older than my DAD!!!!!

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 2:29 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
ISPIFFD
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it completely. I've been having such a hard time finding anyone to spend even a little time with, no friends, everyone's busy or has someone else to be with. I miss just having someone I can talk to where we both know each other and can just talk about stuff.

When XH moved out, that was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. And, honestly, 2 years later it ain't much better...

(((((((Shelly)))))


Me: BW (54)
Him: WH (61)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1800 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, Shelly, it's not pathetic. It's human.

(((hugs)))

and "ick" on the 23 years older guy!! So you do still have perspecitve....


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5573 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Confused1829
♀ Member
Member # 32729
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not pathetic at all!

That's what I miss most of all. Someone that knows my stories, and I know theirs, and we don't have to 'fill them in' from the beginning. They just KNOW us and love us entirely. That comfort and ease of being perfectly with someone and having a partner for the every day stuff. The every day giggles, the inside jokes, the knowing someone inside and out (which obviously I didn't really know them, but I digress). I love that. And miss that. It's normal.

Hugs.


Me: fBW 31
DDays: May 31 2011 & Aug 6 2011. Divorced November 14, 2011 (No Kids)

Posts: 282 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New York City
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God, I have been feeling this all day today too. I miss someone asking "how was your day" so dang much. I've got no advice, just know you've been heard and aren't alone in this. Guess we just gotta hang in there.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3004 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks ya'll! It is nice to just hear from other people that I'm not alone in all this. Its Friday.....and after work I will be picking up my daughter and going home to my empty house. Part of me is dreading it.


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2710 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel that way too. I don't work with very many people, and they are all guys that I have nothing in common with to even be friends with.

I've moved around in my adult life that I have lost contact with so many people.

I feel lonely a lot. EX was my best friend before we got married. I've been so desperate to talk to someone, I've called him, which isn't the healthiest thing.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double Post

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 3:40 PM, July 27th (Saturday)]


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find that when I don't have a "plan" for the day, that I get sad and miss having XWH around.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1955 | Registered: Jan 2012
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't tell you how many nights I've crawled into bed lately with tears in my eyes. I have gotten incredibly desperate for male companionship.

I have some friends, but most of my interaction with other people comes from work. I get together with friends maybe 1 or 2 times a month, but I am starting to really miss having someone here when I come home from work, to eat dinner with, cuddle with, talk about our days, etc.

I haven't found a way around filling that void yet.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2172 | Registered: Feb 2010
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shelly, it's human to need companionship. We all need that. I am sure it is terribly hard been a single parent to a baby. At least my kids are older and can have a conversation with me, (sometimes I crave peace & quiet too ).

Do you have any girlfriends you can hang out with or other mothers to get some interaction with adults? Have you thought about joining a mothers group or a meet up group for families?


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG...it doesn't help that a 67 year old man just sent me an email on the O.L.D site! REALLY???? He's 23 years older than me AND 2 years older than my DAD!!!!!

Hey Shelly... Not to be the math nazi but that dude is TWICE your age. That really is ick.

ETA: it's hardest when the baby is so young bit will get easier as she gets older and you start getting her involved in activities and play dates. Then you can become friends with the other parents.

[This message edited by gahurts at 11:29 AM, July 27th (Saturday)]


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3315 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
burnt_toast
♀ Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. There was this time about a year after D, I realized the old lady I was helping with crossing the street here and then was the only person to touch me.

Hang in there. This is not a permanent situation. Most situations aren't.


It is what it is.

Posts: 4699 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
AgainandAgain
♀ Member
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, July 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awww I'm sorry you had a moment but it's not pathetic. You're a human being and it's normal to want companionship. Heck, I'm married and have moments like that all the time. My h will go days without hugging me because he works all the time and comes home and sleeps then back out to work. When he is up, he's grumpy or online. I don't have many friends so I come on her for companionship. Whether I sit and lurk or actually "speak" I still feel like I'm talking to someone

It won't be like this forever. You are too much of a catch to not make some guy lucky.

Edited because my typing looked like a small child typed it. Darn Apple and their autocorrect!

[This message edited by AgainandAgain at 8:15 AM, July 28th (Sunday)]


Posts: 231 | Registered: Feb 2012
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems like we're far from alone in feeling like this. I miss the intimacy but what I really miss is the day to day stuff. Sharing my daily life with someone.

I too get very little adult interaction. It's normally just me and my kiddos.

Hang in there Momma!


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Feeling Consumed
♀ Member
Member # 30592
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, July 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get like that often too and think that I miss not having anyone to talk to....then it dawns on me that the shithead never talked to me even before I kicked his ass out!

One time I was trying to tell him about something that happened at work and I could see he was not paying one bit of attention to what I was saying - he was watching tv and just saying "uh-huh" every now and then. Well, I thought I would do an experiment - I started saying how it got so hot at work that I decided to take all my clothes off and just work in the nude....you know what he said???? Uh-huh!!!! Seriously?!!

So when I start to miss having someone to talk to, I keep reminding myself that I've been missing that for the whole 27 years we were together!!


Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11

"Obladi oblada life goes on...."


Posts: 344 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Wisconsin
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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