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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Choices
♀ Member
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some recent posts have me thinking about choices.

His choices:
-to answer the first e-mail from her
-to send her his cell phone number on the 2nd email and ask her to call
-to begin the EA 2 weeks after the first contact
-to meet face to face in another city and lie to me about it
-to lie about the next trip as well
-to lie to me when I found out
-to continue the affair with no remorse while still living in the house
-to finally move out of the house because I was too nosy and into his business
-to live his life since he does not have to answer to anyone but himself
-to separate financially
-to not have a formal visitation schedule in order to have more time to himself and to travel to see MOW
-to be away for 2 Christmases in a row to visit MOW
-to stop coming in the morning to take them to school
-to never call the kids when he was away with MOW or when she was here visiting
-to not ask about their lives or school or how they were feeling
-to call only about once a week and speak to each DD for about 5 minutes
-to spend 4% of his time visiting them since the beginning of this year.
-to get engaged really soon after her divorce became final
-to decide that now is the time to introduce them to the OW/fiance

Now he is telling me that he thinks he has been more than accomodating to me and he doesn't know why I object to them meeting her.
I guess he sees the above choices as "accomodating".

My choices
-to be their only parent 24/7...oh, sorry, that wasn't a choice. It was a necessity.
He doesn't see his kids by his choice. As a result of his choices. When he is with them I miss out on seeing them through no fault of my own.

"The fact that I have to suffer for his actions makes me have such a hard time having sympathy for his complaints. Because some of us are suffering and will continue to do so, even though we had no choice in the matter. He did."
(^^paraphrased from another poster)

So true. It's sad, but it's so true.

BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(9)
WS: Him 49 (X...together 12 years)
D-Day April 18, 2011, he moved out Sept. 11, 2011...
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
I'm finding that I am growing more and more fond of his absence.

Posts: 1226 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Keep being a super mom and don't budge on letting OW meet the kids.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them-Vicky Baum

Posts: 49767 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Topic Posts: 2

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