Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: KingHit4Six (44888)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 6 months in...flash of clarity...
BFFGone
♀ Member
Member # 38263
Cool  Posted: 6:43 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been in R for 6 months.

6 painful, long, "hardest work of my life" months.

WH is doing all the right things. Attending SA, counselors (mc and personal), medication, following all my boundaries/parameters to the letter.

I was still triggering ridiculously much. Planning elaborate revenge fantasies on the OW he acted out with most actively. I'm a bit of a research junkie, so I got every known relatives address, wrote a exposure letter with documentation (didn't send it, just have it)...honestly. This was how I filled my limited free time. Not very healthy.

I've really been doing my own work on me, too. Pampering myself, therapy, focusing on my goals. Revenge and OW obsession was just like a little fucked up hobby on the side.

Fast forward to last weekend.

I spent 24 hours in a trauma center due to a fall. On my head. By all rights I should be dead.

Yet, here I am...by the grace of God.

A blown elbow and ankle, and a concussion. Every doctor said I had angels watching over me (I think I keep them busy right now)

I'm not going to waste any more of the precious time I've been given obsessing over whores from his past. He is in charge of his recovery. If he jacks it up, he's thrown away the best thing in his life....my kids and ME.

I'm going to work on my marriage, hope for the best, be prepared for anything, love my kids, and work on me.

Life is short, and I'm done wasting it on them.

Xoxo


I choose to thrive. I choose to be happy.

That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger...but damn, aren't I strong enough yet???


Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2013
Searchingforhope
♀ Member
Member # 38437
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he jacks it up, he's thrown away the best thing in his life....my kids and ME.

BFFGone..

This is wise.

Glad you are ok, too.


Me: BW 51 (didn't have a clue)
Him: FWH 54(extremely remorseful about his stupid midlife crisis)
Married 27 yrs

PA that lasted approx. 2 weeks. OW was a younger but totally screwed up %#@%!

DDay 4-25-12
Reconciling


Posts: 146 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: California
ArableSands
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BFFGone, I hear you, and I empathize.

I'm only 3 weeks out. Had our first MC session this morning. We've both committed 100% to making this work, and while we're in MC we've been asked not to entertain divorce as an outcome. Probably smart. Just yesterday I was inches from walking away forever.

I'm going to spend a ton of time on myself. Of course also focus on my babies. I'm going to do my best to be kind to my wife, who does seem deeply remorseful so far. Aside from the cheating, which is entirely her fault and she is owning it, we have a lot to work through, and I have to own a big piece of that.

We'll see how it goes. Hopeful.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is wonderful clarity for you , and at 6 months out? You're going to be okay bffgone, no matter what.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14844 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.