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User Topic: Compliments that bother me
Emotionalhell
♀ Member
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The pre A me used to enjoy compliments about my looks. Now it just irritates me when a man compliments me. Hey ! Can you see I have a big heart & great personality too !?!?!

Posts: 86 | Registered: Jul 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do you think the compliments about your looks bother you? Do they seem overtly sexual to you? Objectifying or demeaning?

I think it's important to peel back the onion layers when something really bothers us. There may be some healing to be found there.

((((emotionalhell))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25850 | Registered: Aug 2011
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think NIK has is on to something. Take some time to examine that.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52771 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What kind of compliments are you receiving?

If someone said to me "Hey you have a nice ass." That's not a compliment to me and it would annoy me, but if someone said I was pretty or liked my outfit or commented about my eyes I would take it for what it is, a compliment.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love complaiments they are what has helped my self-esteem not to go in the gutter.

I agree with Nik.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2807 | Registered: Aug 2011
Bikingguy
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have to agree with the others - I like the compliments and they come at a time when my self esteem is at an all time low.

Unlike many of you, I gained weight just after D day. This was 6 months after I started exercising and getting into great shape. I have regained that momentum and at my lowest weight (a good thing) in decades. So the complements of how good I look are a welcome. However my co worker became a know BS about 2 months after me. He has lost over 20 pounds because he cannot eat. So compliments to him are hard to take.

I also understand some are afraid to say anything for fear of weight loss being cancer related.


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 676 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
Emotionalhell
♀ Member
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They just seem so shallow to me.. Like looks is all that matters to men.

Posts: 86 | Registered: Jul 2013
Emotionalhell
♀ Member
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They just seem so shallow to me.. Like looks is all that matters to men.

Posts: 86 | Registered: Jul 2013
ArableSands
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Speaking as a man, looks aren't all that matters. If I can't emotionally connect with a woman there's not future there, and sex would be shallow at best. Please pardon me if it's TMI, but nothing gives a guy like me more of a turn on than a woman who looks good AND that I can connect with emotionally.

I have a history of preferring smart women. Intelligence is hot. If you look scrumptious in a short dress and heels that's the icing.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
Topic Posts: 9

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