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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When is supervised visitation okay?
brokenandconfuse
♀ Member
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Lawyer wants to get supervised visitations. As H is drinking heavily again, harassing me and being mean and rude in front of the kids, and drinking and driving. He also came and took our boat just to piss me off. I really hate to do that to him, but I need my kids to be safe.


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need my kids to be safe.

I think you answered your own question. When you're concerned about the safety of your children, supervised visitation is a MUST. If your lawyer thinks you have grounds for it, I say go for it. Who cares if you rock the apple cart? The safety of your children is #1. If your X is engaging in unsafe behaviors, then maybe having supervised visitation will be a wakeup call. I'm sorry you have to go through this.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The safety of the kids is paramount. I think it's a big deal if the lawyer is pushing for it. Usually, one of the parents wants it and the lawyer will indicate it likely won't happen because he or she knows what will push the judges in that direction. Your lawyer must have a good inkling that you will get it.

Do as your attorney advises and know in your heart that it's for the good of the children. Drinking around them and driving after drinking are very dangerous choices. You may be a little desensitized to his drinking if you've had to live with it for a while. That's not a judgment or reflection of you - it's just reality when you are more used to a habit. When an outsider, like a lawyer or judge, looks at it, sometimes a very different perspective is offered.

These are his choices. Dont feel bad or guilty about yours.

Hopefully, if he is ordered to have supervised visits, he will take it seriously and get some help for his problems.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2768 | Registered: Jan 2011
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i agree with the other here. If your lawyer is recommending it, there is probably something to it.

I requested it, and my lawyer was like "um, no. a judge won't go for it because we've got nothing to back it up." I say go for it.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3317 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
brokenandconfuse
♀ Member
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are right. I think that so many years of such craziness has desensatized me. Abnormal has become normal.

He was issued with a restraining order today and I am being supported by the abuse advocacy group, which has been a huge help and very enlightening on his actions and tactics. It is so sad:-(

He blames me for everything as absolutely nothing he does is his fault. Scare the kids..oh that is my fault to.

It is hard for me to accept that the man is a bit crazy. All of the alcohol has really made a mess of his brain.I am slowly accepting that my kids will never really have their father. He just isn't capable of seeing past himself.


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced


Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If a judge will agree to it, there's probably good reason behind it. Protect your kids.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 6

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