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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The energizer bunny
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't stop shaking and feel like I could go and go and go and go all day. I just did 45 minutes of turbo fire and it was a piece of cake, I could have kept going for hours it feels like. At night it's the same way with sex and WS doesn't get it at all. When I'm not going and going and going its like I hate life, I really feel the pain and its like an itch I can't scratch or a ride I want off now!!!!

I don't know about the shaking - anxiety maybe? I can't tell you amount of crazy looks I get from people seeing my shakiness and random nervous chatter and probably thinking I'm on drugs.

I refuse to see a doctor, I was addicted to Xanax and will not take any prescription drug right now. At the same time I feel like I could crash and burn any second. :(


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Princess, The only way to get rid of the pain is to go through it - feel it, process it, and let it go. If you stuff it, it'll stay in your body and eat you up.

You don't have much of a choice with this pain - it's been dumped on you. You can stuff it or you can let it go.

Stop avoiding your pain. Face it. Accept it. Embrace it. Really. You can do it. Its the best and fastest way by far to get rid of it.

What you're doing now is, in fact, setting yourself up to crash and burn. If you feel your pain, you'll feel energized as you let it go.

You might find IC is a big help in processing the pain.

[This message edited by sisoon at 12:04 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9990 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
PrincessPeach06
♀ Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After counseling the other day I felt better for a few hours. I think my biggest problem is that I am never ever ever alone - the kids are here, their friends are in and out all day long (in the middle of town they don't even knock) and as much as I want to cry and scream and break down I can't. Yet as I sit here and write this the tears are there ready to spill out, happens every time I write here. lol


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 36
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-6
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 299 | Registered: Jun 2013
TXBW68
♀ Member
Member # 36456
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sisoon is right. You are going to have to stop and feel the pain in order to let it go.

I was a bundle of energy at first too. Up at 5:00am everyday. Exercise and clean the house by 7:00. Hell, I even cut down trees last summer.

But the only way to get to the other side of hell is to walk straight thru it. It's ok to cry, yell, break something, hit a punching bag, etc. Just let it out before your overall health is affected permanently.

((Princess))


Me (45) WH (42),2 boys 14 & 11
M 18yrs T 22yrs
Separated 10 months (4/12 to 2/13)
Final Total - #1/#2 ONS and #3/#4 EA/PA - left me for #4, didn't know about #2 and 3 until he moved back home
We are solidly in R now

Posts: 787 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Dallas, TX
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Princess, you have to put yourself fiirst. If you don't, who will? Our kids will certainly not do it! Put some boundaries in place. Mommy needs some down time, so no friends over from 3-4 or something similar. Set your kids up with something quiet to do, and go to your room and be alone for 30 minutes. Let yourself feel it. You cannot out run it. It will catch you. And it is even meaner if it has to race after you and the fall will be even harder. Make it happen. You are doing it FOR your kids. They need you to be healthy for them, and you need to set an example for them that mother's are people too. Take care of yourself.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6359 | Registered: Jan 2011
Topic Posts: 5

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