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User Topic: My trust is being tested. Need some hugs
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have posted in the past about woman from TGs past that I am not particularly comfortable with.

Her kids are friends with TGs kids. She has 5 kids. TG is close to 2 of them. They are visiting our area. They are coming over to visit TG tonight. I am out of town.

I do not trust this woman as far as I can spit. She and TG were briefly romantically involved just prior to TG and I dating. He has always told me of her attempts at contact but she fishes a couple of times a year. TG sees it as harmless. I do not.

She is coming to my house tonight. My intuition is sounding alarm bells. I don't know if I'm triggering or just being jealous and untrusting. TG has given me no reason at all not to trust him. He told me. I told him point blank that this was setting off alarm bells. My DS will be there too along with this woman's two kids but I still do not like it.

I could just use some calming support b/c right now I want to call every 5 minutes!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8235 | Registered: Apr 2008
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What it comes down to is ...you have to have trust in TG. That, and make sure your DS is stuck to him like glue while she is there I'm serious!!!

However, why can't they meet somewhere away from your home? couldn't they go grab some pizza or something?


Posts: 13353 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally understand, but just focus on the security you and TG have built together. ((Hugs))


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess TG just wanted to invite them over for a BBQ. He invites everyone over to our place. I doubt going out even ocurred to him.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8235 | Registered: Apr 2008
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((hexed))))


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22574 | Registered: Aug 2011
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hexed)))


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big hugs. With all the kids around I'm sure it will all be fine.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
Celebrating 60 years on Earth

Posts: 16613 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Hexed))

Be strong. Trust.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 6993 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hexed))

You can do this!


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2421 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it possible for you to focus on the friendships between the kids, and try to view her as just a vehicle, like a stinky old car, that delivers the kids? Sure the thing belches smog, has bad brakes, stains all over the seats and nicotine smears on the windows. But the kids can't decide what brings them there, they just have to go along, and it is bringing them to see their friends.

Maybe let TG know he is responsible for cleaning the oil stains off the driveway when she leaves?


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1002 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Calm down Hexed...

You got this and he's cool...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The thing that bugs me about this is that TGs kids aren't going to be there. They are back with their mother.

I know there will be some drinking. That always makes me worry. I know that she doesn't have good intentions.

I know that I can trust TG but drunk friends will forever make me feel yucky b/c of X.

Uggh!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8235 | Registered: Apr 2008
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hexie)))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15278 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Just a Cali girl
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

You ask for hugs, you are going to get hugs, my friend.

I hope the light of day tomorrow chases these shadowy doubts away!


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5289 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm actually a bit upset this morning about the whole thing.

I called once b/c I needed to talk to him about something. It was a bit late. He'd obviously had a few. He initiated no contact last night.

I don't feel happy at all.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8235 | Registered: Apr 2008
confused girl
♀ Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He initiated no contact with her last night??

What happened that made him take that action. Of course, I think that is a good course to follow but I assume something must have happened.


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1343 | Registered: May 2006
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think hexed is saying he didn't contact her (hexed) to say goodnight.

That is a huge issue IMO and the optics on this one are NOT good. I'm pissed for you hexed.

[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:03 AM, July 25th (Thursday)]


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
Celebrating 60 years on Earth

Posts: 16613 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No - She initiated contact with him.

Long story short she fishes a couple times a year. Normally she's several states away. She is from our area and was in town visiting.

I am pissed that after making it clear that I was feeling uncomfortable he couldn't be bothered to text me last night.

Yes there were lots of people around. Unfortunately, I think all of them except my DS would be in favor of this woman and TG getting together. I don't feel happy at all.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8235 | Registered: Apr 2008
confused girl
♀ Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hexed, I'm so sorry for the rough night.

There isn't any reason for me to say all the things running thru my head. You are saying them all to yourself already.

just hugs.............


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1343 | Registered: May 2006
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((Hexed)))))))

I don't know what to say, except I'd be pissed as well.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4436 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 35
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