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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 12
StillGoing
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Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bet Gunnery Sergeant Vince Carter would have had a field day with Eddie.

eta:

Well, there was also that astronaut that needed bottled boobs to rescue him from himself and then there was Ace Ventura: Witch Husbandry.

Okay is it just me or does Dick York not share an uncanny resemblance to Jim Carrey?

eta again:

OKAY I WATCHED ALL THOSE SHOWS BECAUSE I SPENT A LOT OF TIME AT MY GRANDPARENTS AS A KID FINE

I also remember the WWF cartoon, and getting excited about the fucking saturday morning commercials.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 12:06 PM, August 19th (Monday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7096 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Later defines "more recent" in geological terms, apparently.

I was thinking astronomical...


Posts: 6000 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
wincing_at_light
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Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doing the best I can with what I have to work with WAL.

If we're not busting somebody's balls on every page, it's not the Menz thread.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6687 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't worry Later, we all get our day in the barrel .

As for TV role models? I wouldn't have a clue. If it's not sports, weather, or traffic, I pretty much don't watch TV. Maybe if there is something cool on a science channel about the universe or nature I'll put it on in the background, but I haven't really watched a sitcom or regular TV since DDay. I have to agree with SG, I did watch Glee a bit with my wife a few years ago and enjoyed it.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3297 | Registered: Dec 2011
wonderingbull
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Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Later defines "more recent" in geological terms, apparently.

Being a geologist I have to say... T Rex would have eaten every Wally, Beaver, Andy Griffith and Opie but Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie and Samantha Stephens from Bewitched could have saved them if they wanted to...

Being 53 I grew up with all the old sitcoms...

I've got 4 sisters and 4 brothers... I'm number 7 of 9 kids... It was a boys will be boys and girls will be girls world in our family... Now the youngest of the four sisters is 51 and the oldest is 67 they as a group think all us 5 brothers are idiots... I hear the typical media male stereotype in their descriptions in their dismissive attitudes...

Oh and... They're so successful in relationships... 4 sisters, 4 divorces... Of course... None their fault... Relationship advice flows freely... I just consider the sources...

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Sal1995
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Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The concept of having an affair to receive "validation" or to prove that you're attractive drives me nuts. Some guy I met at work or in a bar says nice things to me and wants to screw me, so I must really be special!

People put way too much stock in getting laid. There are 7 billion of us on the planet and people have a tendency to seek the path of least resistance, so getting someone to lie down with you must not be that challenging. It doesn't make you unique, or special, or unusually "desirable". It just means you are a human being who lives in a world with other human beings.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 2:19 PM, August 19th (Monday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Mr. Kite
♂ Member
Member # 28840
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4 sisters, 4 divorces... Of course... None their fault

WW was raised in a strict Catholic home where the girls went to all-girls Catholic schools. The result? One sister has been divorced twice, the other sister is in a long-term M where her husband beats the crap out of her(complete with police cars and death threats). The brother is divorced and remarried. WW divorced her first husband and then of course there's our disaster of a M. WTH happened?

The human mind is a fascinating thing to behold. Over the weekend I really got in touch with how delusional WW's thinking has become. She really and truly believes she is the victim of life's bad breaks and people's mean intentions instead of someone who made stupid and at times evil choices and paid the price.

Everything that pops out of her mouth is an excuse and everyone but her is to blame. Brick by brick her mind has fashioned a world where she is the victim. I'm an ogre, and one day her prince will come to rescue her from the mean people in her life.

After much MC and IC nothing has seeped into her thinking to dislodge that mental fallacy. It is both fascinating and frightening when the woman who is supposed to be your wife and best friend has concocted this fantasy land in order to avoid any and all blame.


Posts: 900 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Mid-Atlantic
StillGoing
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Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everything that pops out of her mouth is an excuse and everyone but her is to blame. Brick by brick her mind has fashioned a world where she is the victim. I'm an ogre, and one day her prince will come to rescue her from the mean people in her life.


eta:

Well fuck. Sorry for killing this.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 9:31 PM, August 19th (Monday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7096 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
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Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well fuck. Sorry for killing this.

StillGoing, you have to stop blaming yourself. Let the thread take some responsibility for it's actions. Sure things were getting quiet, but did the thread ever bring up these concerns instead of just shutting down and shutting you out.

We always talk about people need to own their own shit, now stop being greedy and trying to take someone else's.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
nuance
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Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, August 19th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread is going to end soon and #13 will start but what the hell:

People put way too much stock in getting laid

I told my FWW once that there must be a large number of potential sex partners out there for both of us that would be better at sex than I am for her and she is for me. It'd be stupid to think otherwise. (she hates when I say this btw)

However, there are no better life partners out there considering our "package": 18 years, 2 kids, we know, tolerate and love each others' personality.

Sex is cheap, easily achievable and often overrated. I love sex but sex by itself is not enough.

[This message edited by nuance at 11:49 PM, August 19th (Monday)]


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1158 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:56 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Sex is cheap, easily achievable and often overrated."

While adultery & its damaging effects are underrated.
Sex obviously was not overrated by our spouses.

There's no denying, one of the biggest cultural shifts of the last 60-70 years is the influence of media.
McLuhan's "The Medium is the Massage" & other works examine this.
Copy:
McLuhan describes the "content" of a medium as a juicy piece of meat carried by the burglar to distract the watchdog of the mind.

This means that people tend to focus on the obvious, which is the content, to provide us valuable information, but in the process, we largely miss the structural changes in our affairs that are introduced subtly, or over long periods of time.

As society's values, norms and ways of doing things change because of the technology, it is then we realize the social implications of the medium.

These range from cultural or religious issues and historical precedents, through interplay with existing conditions, to the secondary or tertiary effects in a cascade of interactions that we are not aware of.

"Distract", "we miss", "we are not aware of"...
These resonate with me (no wonder, right? ) - because what those changes we missed actually are becomes valuable to know going forward.

Note:
Denying media's influence plays a consistent part in Wilson Bryan Key's work @ subliminal advertising.
Going back to Screwtape, it is noted that of all his deceptions, promulgating the belief that he doesn't exist is his greatest.

Sure, it's interesting to discuss how "society's values, norms, and ways of doing things have changed" - but this is where my mind breaks on it:
We're being told what to do and think. By a faceless, uncaring, self-important machine.

I reject that. Fuck the hivemind
AND KFC, Tecate, & Fiat.
Shortly after Dday, I threw that shit out in an absolute fit of rage. I'm not putting this out there like some holier-than-thou ex smoker, it was blinding, sudden rage.

I've settled down... a bit.

So, where do I go to find examples of essential male-ness?

That part of time in which it manifests without media's corrosive influence. The period before media, and the period from @ 1700's - 1950, where the greatest "slope" of cultural & technological change occurs.
(a la Buckminster Fuller's graph: "Profile of the Industrial Revolution")

Also, for what that looks like. I come here.

ETA
"The mass public insists on entertainment over art in order to
escape an unnatural way of life in which interior realities are not
compatible with exterior realities. Freedom, says Brown, is fusion.
Life becomes art when there's no difference between what we are
and what we do. Art is a synergetic attempt at closing the gap
between what is and what ought to be. Jacob Bronowski has
suggested that we "ought to act in such a
way that what is true can
be verified to be so."

from Gene Youngblood's "Expanded Cinema"
http://www.vasulka.org/Kitchen/PDF_ExpandedCinema/foreword.pdf

50 years ago, he predicted we'd be sitting right here.

[This message edited by jjct at 5:35 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 6000 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
StillGoing
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Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

StillGoing, you have to stop blaming yourself. Let the thread take some responsibility for it's actions. Sure things were getting quiet, but did the thread ever bring up these concerns instead of just shutting down and shutting you out.

But this threads love tank is dry.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7096 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


SG, I LOVE YOU, man!

Posts: 6000 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But this threads love tank is dry.

Sounds like somebody needs a reassurance hug.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3297 | Registered: Dec 2011
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7096 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That does it. Pink tanks? Hugs.
This thread needs an attitude adjustment.
My Menz credo

I'm Not Ashamed Of Who I Am...Are You?
I am the kindest, gentlest, purest,
mean brutal pervert.
I am a Patriotic hedonist,
an agnostic spiritualist,
and I am a psychopath
with a conscience.
I love children, animals,
guns, and fighting.
I want to kiss most women,
I want to punch most men,
and I find all non-insectile creatures,
smaller than me, adorable.
I'm for issuing handguns,
and putting a shotgun,
and a lockbox in every home.
I cried during the battle scenes in Braveheart,
and I yawned at the end of Titanic.
I hate clothing,
but I love lingerie.
I love freedom, peace,
humanity, and nature,
but I can't stand hippies.
My number one desire is to live
in a post-apocalyptic patriotic infested America.


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Brandon808
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Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^Thanks Betrayed. That was awesome!

Did you write that one?


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3363 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some Breaking Bad fun facts and speculation:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/breaking-bad-easter-eggs-that-will-blow-your-mind



Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In regards to the changing idea of masculinity or maleness...whether or not we can all agree that it has changed....I don't know if it's a bad thing if it has. I mean, some guys bemoan the loss of traditional ideas of masculinity, but that's because they feel like it has resulted in them getting the short end of the stick in social relationships, intimate or otherwise. That being said, for each of us who are annoyed or pissed at the shift in attitudes regarding 'masculinity' and 'masculine values' there is a guy out there who doesn't fit that classic mold who would've been persecuted and had his ass kicked during the 50s and the time prior.....and I don't think he's any less of a man (or less masculine) than I am or anyone else is.

I mean, my brother is kind of an effeminate guy...he wears skinny jeans, dresses a tad hipster-ish, is vegan, but just because he doesn't fit some classical idea of how we expect men to look and act doesn't mean a damn thing. That dude struggled with a deadly serious opiate addiction for the better part of 5 years, including ODs and jail time.....that sort of experience involves a lot of self-loathing....and it took a lot of work to get past that. His outward appearance and mannerisms have not fundamentally changed, but the way he carries himself has....he's not trying to be mine, or yours, or anyone's else idea of a man. He just is....and you can tell it when you meet him. That's why to me being manly (or even womanly) is much more about being comfortable with who you are, everybody else's expectations be damned, you know?

The bigger problem to me is the mixed messages that get modeled to the youth as far as gender roles, especially in the context of relationships. I mean, someone touched on it before, but girls get fed the line that they're both a princess AND an independent diva....while boys get the line that they're supposed to be paragons of masculinity who rescue you AND sensitive BFF's who cry with you when you have your period. I'm not saying that individuals have to conform to one or the other pole, only saying that "That shit is confusing." I mean, I work with a woman (girl? she's like 23) who is actively trying to become a Police Officer, and she told me the other day that she "doesn't even talk to a dude unless he can at least pay my phone bill." Moving goalposts are confusing. I mean, if a girl wants to be an "independent woman" feel free.....but don't then try to be 'Princess-in-need-of-rescuing' when shit gets too tough and you want someone to bail you out.

[This message edited by FacePunched at 10:19 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1584 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
Tred
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Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:38 AM, August 20th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand where you are coming from FP. Hell, I was pretty comfortable in my own skin for a long time. I wasn't a man's man, wasn't gifted with the right genetics. But I was the only man I could be - loyal, faithful, a good provider, tried to be a good father, worked hard, all that shit. It sucks that none of it mattered. My wife wanted to bang the guy(s) who won the genetic lottery. I read her dating site descriptions of what she wanted in a man - she even discussed minimum penis size her AP could have. Lucky for her the main AP had "no problem meeting her minimum requirements". He was also 6" taller than me, ex special forces, worked in ordinance disposal, was a national guard reservist who deployed overseas and regaled her with his exotic tales from the middle east. A man's man. That's why leading men are almost always cookie cutters of each other - little guys who just want to provide for their families don't make women's crotches wet and aren't marketable. Sex and perceived masculinity sell, and women are consumers. That's why there are so many shows like Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, Hung, the Bachelor, Mad Men, etc. My wife didn't want sex with a middle aged man who had 5 back operations and a gut, she wanted a Brad Pitt type to give her a good fucking, to prove that she could pull one of those manly men. So in a way, she wanted the safety and security that I provided and wouldn't give it up, but wanted a real man on the side to fulfill her fantasies that I obviously couldn't. And she got to have it both ways for a long time. Some days I really want to say fuck it.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3297 | Registered: Dec 2011
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