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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 12
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Man, I feel like I know you pretty darn well, but damn, that is way too much TMI. You're going to make me blush!

Ha!

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kind of quiet in here today. Everyone get everything all figured out over the weekend?


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBXWW and I are still in the same house right now. That should be changing soon after we get a few things squared away. But right now its limbo hell in the RB casa.

Anyway, STBXWW goes into full drama queen meltdown mode last night. She has changed in every way possible since her A imploded last year. I can't wait to get rid of this crazy hot mess of a parasite I live with. Does Raid pest control products make a spray for that?

Yet even after all this I can't help but feel sorry for her in some ways. I don't know that she truly sees how far she has spiraled down. She continues to try and blame me for everything that has happened, refusing to see the truth behind any of this. Granted, I expect nothing less really, but its just sad, very sad. I don't know her or who she has become. I hope she can get some help for herself.

I don't care any more, well, maybe I do in some ways. I like to think that its because I have compassion and empathy in general no matter who it is. I can't show it to her though because all that comes of it is abuse and manipulation. I learned that the hard way.

If anything I have learned its a load off the bruised and beaten shoulders when you can dump their emotional load right back on them. Don't let them give you shit to take that isn't yours to take.

Stay strong brothers.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RB

I don't have any answers and it doesn't look you need any. It is hard to imagine having to live with her in the same house all this time.

You are truly blessed with strength and courage. Hopefully the struggle will be over soon.


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does Raid pest control products make a spray for that?

Man I do a GIS for glue traps and....



“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7109 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thinkingclear,

Thanks for the encouraging words. Most of the time I feel used and spent. And to be honest a little like a chump. I am holding out the best I can at the moment I guess.

I do have a 3 day mens only camping trip this weekend with some friends. Beer and fishing o'plenty. You guys are more than welcome to go too!!

Stillgoing,

glue traps, sounds like what I got myself into when I married the STBXWW.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beer and fishing o'plenty

If I was in the mid west, I'd be there! I plan on doing some bay fishing this weekend with the family. Just to catch some spot, blue, maybe some croaker for a fish fry.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The midwest is a bit of a drive for me, but I'll be there in spirit, RyeBread!

My son has recently caught the fishing bug. I'll probably take him down to our local hole and see what we can pull out. Mostly small stuff there: perch, bluegill, and small catfish. Good starter pond, though.


Posts: 4549 | Registered: Dec 2010
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't fish all that much, I am still very novice. I have taken a couple backpacking fishing trips in some remote Colorado areas and landed some decent size trout but other than that I mostly enjoy the solitude and mental break I get.

The lake we are going to is supposed to have some really good bass fishing. I guess bass ale would be in order then :)


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Haven't done any fishing since I was a teenager. Been looking at camping gear here, plan to take the boys out next month overnight, one on one, alternate weekends.. think they could use some time like that. Also, ticks in the pine barrens in the summer = CREEPING DEATH so mid/late september works better around here.

Have fun with the fishing trip RB, it sounds like it will be awesome. Sitting on a boat with beer and nobody to bother you? How can you not like that? Enjoy man.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7109 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sitting on a boat with beer and nobody to bother you?

Especially if you don't bait the hook, then the fish won't bother your beer drinking either, but you'll still be fishing. Just remember, it's called fishing, not catching!


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
Itsgoingtobeok
♂ Member
Member # 37664
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The worst day fishing is better then. The best day with a WW !


BS-(52)
WS-49
married 28 yrs
Kid's -2
A- several
DD- 12-10-12
Starting recovery

"I don't understand the world today I don't understand what she needs I gave her everything she threw it all away" tom petty


Posts: 209 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Los Angeles
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred,

I'm not much of a fisherman, but I have a buddy who's pretty hardcore. Me, I just love the outdoors so much I don't need an excuse to go out.

One day he was fly fishing and I was watching from the bank. The trout were rising, and he was getting some really good presentations, the fish were hitting but he wasn't hooking any. I looked carefully at his fly when he went to cast, it was just a feather on a tiny weight with no hook.

"What the heck?" I asked, "You'll never catch anything that way."

"Yeah" he said, "Too messy."

We agreed later that we have days with our FWWs like that. Better to leave the hook off lest you catch them. Gets messy.

[This message edited by MoreWould at 1:50 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better to leave the hook off lest you catch them. Gets messy.

Truth there! After my first wife cheated on me, I could of sworn I believed in catch and release. Wives and fishing analogies. Two reasons to drink beer.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3303 | Registered: Dec 2011
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wives and fishing analogies. Two reasons to drink beer.

Agreed!

and the third reason is because beer is delicious

[This message edited by RyeBread at 2:10 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about wives and boat analogies?

Talk about the never ending project. Don't even get me started on the money aspect.
Think dysfunctional WW's view marriages the same way I do my boat.

Sure looks good in the driveway, but no matter how much work I put into it, there's always something else that needs to be worked on.

ETA******
RB, bass is my favorite, both to fish and eat. Mmmmm, deep fried bass nuggets.

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 2:12 PM, August 13th (Tuesday)]


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 426 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

walleye for me. a little bony, but oh so worth it.

DR, unlike my XW, I was actually able to sell the boat for a profit

on a serious note, has anyone else noticed a higher proportion of menz joining this group? JFO seems to be full of them lately.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2068 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Noticed that too 5454real.

I don't know about anyone else but my STBXWW's PA portion happened during the summer. She must have watched too much Grease and taken the whole "Summer Lovin" song to heart. She loves that movie, go figure.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I blame it on the Perseid Meteor shower.

Bump into a piece of strange (comet) tail, next thing you know, shit is falling out of the sky all around you.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, August 13th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shower tail ha!
Yes to the newbs in jfo, dang - I find myself saying the same things to them. Terrible it is.
otoh, I'm really impressed with several newbs - posting advice on others' jfo's!
FTR, it took me a long long time to venture in there and offer advice - these (M AND W) are special and strong in my book, to be able to do that when their own worlds just exploded.

I have a lot of respect for that.


Posts: 6013 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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