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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 12
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol
Outstanding
WW asked me to get rid of it the other day!
Made my day

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm trying to get some good use out of it for now. I'm not sure how much longer it will be useful as my WW is slowly turning into an adult. The whole teenage Curve thing may be on it's last leg.


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
Onan
♂ Member
Member # 33473
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I searched for "curve" on GNC and this is what I got.

Interesting but not for me..

Seriously, Rhodiola Rosea helped for me. A naturual adaptogen/antidepressent studied by the KGB in the 60's.

[This message edited by Onan at 12:17 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


BS(me): 56
WW(her): 52
M: 19yrs
D-day: 8/25/2011
Good news: Wife really, really likes sex. Bad news: Just not with me.

Posts: 185 | Registered: Sep 2011
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it seems as if the whole ordeal of her A is a subroutine that is continually running in the background of my mind

Brillant way of putting it. The brain can only process so many things at once. 40% usage on the A in the background all the time...Trigger....99% How the fuck did I get work, I just drove for 30 minutes and don't remember any of it, including all the stop lights, did I even look at them or just run the intersections, who knows?
I ALWAYS feel distracted these days. No shakes, but feels like I've had the flu for 4 months now. It's had a negative effect on my digestive system for sure. Need some Probiotics I guess.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 429 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe it's because she likes it.
I'll always have a special place for Curve. I got it post DDay when a Guido I was working with was bragging about how much ass it got him.
And he did pull A LOT of it.
Dangerous stuff in the wrong hands.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I searched for "curve" on GNC and this is what I got.

Almost accurate. Curve will get you that.
This is Curve. Don't tell anyone

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
thinkingclear
♂ Member
Member # 38884
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somebody needs to give me an in-service on how to post pics.


BS - Me
WW - Her
10 month EA/PA

Posts: 211 | Registered: Apr 2013
Onan
♂ Member
Member # 33473
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here-
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq.asp

under question "How do you post a picture/bold/italics?"

[This message edited by Onan at 12:33 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


BS(me): 56
WW(her): 52
M: 19yrs
D-day: 8/25/2011
Good news: Wife really, really likes sex. Bad news: Just not with me.

Posts: 185 | Registered: Sep 2011
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somebody needs to give me an in-service on how to post pics.

Find a pic online
Copy the link of the pic
Paste in the body of your post
Do exactly like the quote brackets except substitute "img" instead of "quote"

[This message edited by Betrayed444 at 12:33 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know we're not supposed to post quotes from the BMenz thread other places, even though some of the stuff here is so priceless it deserves a wider audience. But can we bring good stuff from outside in to here? Fuck it, I'm not waiting for an answer, Mods spank me if you must.

From UO today, one the great Wimz posters, that seems to be a thought so many of us here have had.

I can only imagine the fight one would engage in choosing to stay with someone that made our choices. I think that would anger me damn near as much as their choices. Almost like a self betrayal, at least at first.

Word. Fucking word.

I'm way out on the timeline, still married to FWW, had a couple of kids and a good life post A. "R we good?" Yeah.

But I can't shake the feeling that I betrayed myself by putting up with her A. And now, the A has faded but that still stings.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

By the way since we're talking about taking care of ourselves let me impart upon you one of the best books I ever read.
I have had this book since the 6th grade and have read and re read it numerous times. This book is pure gold and will change your life. Don't let the title fool you. It is not about being phony. It teaches you how to be real. Oftentimes I will lose sight of some of its principles. It had been years since I last read it but recently I downloaded it onto my iPhone Kindle app for 9 bucks.
There are a lot of books dealing with our situation
This deals with life and in my humble opinion is a must have. They don't teach you this in school.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tred:
They were so bad in the early days that I'd get in the tub and my wife would throw in a load of clothes.

Later:

Like walking around looking for my keys - and then realizing I am actually driving my car and I really need to get back into the driver's seat.

Good stuff brothers! It's great to see that this shit hasn't robbed you of your sense of humor.

My experience has been more similar to B444's - if anything the affair aftermath has made me better. Hypervigilant for sure (not sure if that's better), but also I've gotten in much better shape and have been sharper at work for some reason. A little more attentive with the kids. Despite the excruciating pain and explosive anger which still seeps in from time-to-time, the shock of this thing has awakened something good inside of me. Why I couldn't tell you, but I'll take any positive I can get from this nightmare.

Yesterday was the first rough day I've had in almost two weeks. Just triggered like crazy with mind movies, which overall hasn't been a major issue for me in the last 3 months or so. I told my wife about it as we laid in bed last night and she apparently got overwhelmed with guilt. Went into the bathroom and cried, then left the bedroom for awhile. I used it as an opportunity to get some sleep. Later on she came into the room and slipped back into bed, and I slept like a baby the rest of the night.

Just another day in paradise.

Man, this thread is on a fast and furious pace that would rival BM 10.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My experience has been more similar to B444's - if anything the affair aftermath has made me better. Hypervigilant for sure (not sure if that's better), but also I've gotten in much better shape and have been sharper at work for some reason. A little more attentive with the kids. Despite the excruciating pain and explosive anger which still seeps in from time-to-time, the shock of this thing has awakened something good inside of me. Why I couldn't tell you, but I'll take any positive I can get from this nightmare.

What's up brother from another mother!
I still think we're married to the same person.
I relate to all of the above. I hear it all the time that I've become a more attentive dad and all the way Around better person. Not that I was not before but refined. I hate that it was because of the circumstances but maybe I came off a type of auto pilot and now I'm on manual controls. It's not that I took my WW for granted but now I see her for what she is. She led me to believe that her selfishness was the norm for so long that I got used to it. Now I took back control of myself and I don't care what she thinks. It's akin to Pearl Harbor, no disrespect , but she woke up the sleeping giant. I catch myself sometimes when I want to do something and think about how she feels, like I feel guilty doing something for me, then I shrug it off. I don't care.
Don't misunderstand. I'm still caring and compassionate, but I won't deprive myself or be manipulated.
I was too empathic prior to DDay, now I'm not. It's that simple and at this point if she wanted to walk I would help her carry her things.
Rediscovery has shown me the light. She opened her own Pandora's box and allowed me to see it. That I don't have to accept her bullshit. It's MY choice, not hers. It's on MY terms, not hers.
Seriously, I'm done being angry. I won't engage. I won't let her stupidity, bad choices, "mistakes". Guide my attitude any longer.
I'm just in awe of how fucked up she's been. Her sordid story and the details are actually an amazing tragedy of someone who can fuck up a soup sandwich.
Anger gets me nowhere. Living gets me everywhere such as detaching(DETACH),doing the 180, and making it perfectly clear that this is it, I'm not giving her a pass, not by a long shot. I haven't made up my mind. I don't have to. She has to earn her place back beside me as an equal. It's up to me if its a go or no go. There is no time limit.
In regards to anger and name calling, yes but earning respect , no.
Let me reiterate, you can be angry forever but your hurting yourself, your insides. It's not healthy.
I came to a self understanding that I can live without my WW. I don't need her. I just need more cash,lol.
My friend has a live in Nepalise nanny that cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes care of the kids, AND makes sammiches, that's what I need. 1500 bucks a month. Seriously.
My WW asks me at least a couple of times a week where we stand. I just tell her were standing.
Sure I praise her and act like a loving husband. I am. I'm just more independent. I don't criticize, yell, complain. I praise more if anything and shrug off what she doesn't do.
I'm indifferent and yet I'm someone she wants to be around. It's funny how self healing does that. It's almost like when a girl digs you and you don't dig her as much. She keeps hanging around. Unfortunately since DDay that's how it is. I'm just not digging her as much.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wtf is Curve? I'm terrified what GIS might throw at me. Shit will crawl out of the screen.

eta:

Oh, there, nm.

Damn, that stuff does look impressive. I kinda want to get some to try it out and see what happens but I don't actually want any attention, so that wouldn't work. Maybe I can spray it on the cat and watch it walk around the neighborhood. Or spray it on random car door handles in the parking lot.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 2:21 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7119 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Betrayed444
♂ Member
Member # 38389
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or spray it on random car door handles in the parking lot.

Dude never mess with the power of Curve!!
That could get some poor woman in a lot of trouble!
Next thing you know her husband would be in the JFO thread complaining that he caught the scent of curve on his woman's vehicle and hand.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Feb 2013
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You ever notice how stale pancake batter smells a little bit like sperm?

Back in the (bad) days, I thought about going around parking lots with a jug of the stuff just to mix things up.


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
MoreWould
♂ Member
Member # 37982
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whoops DP

[This message edited by MoreWould at 2:49 PM, July 26th (Friday)]


Me BH/WH, 63
Her WW/BW, 62
Her DDay Dec 1976 OMW at the door
My DDay, ~ 2years later, confessed ONS the next day
R via "Sweeping under the rug"
Still married, 40 yrs, mostly OK
2 kids, 24 & 20

Posts: 347 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Colorado
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously...exactly WHAT is in Curve?

Rabbit piss, love potion #9, zebra cum?

I mean if I go buy a bottle and smell it will I want to have sex with myself?

Just wondering.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 429 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You ever notice how stale pancake batter smells a little bit like sperm?

No, I'm not that limber.


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3306 | Registered: Dec 2011
Later
♂ Member
Member # 39375
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, July 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, I'm not that limber.

Where the hell do you keep your stale pancake batter?


Posts: 384 | Registered: May 2013
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