JJ (despite "blaming me") started a Name That Book idea and I followed his creative lead, one of which was
How about if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, it's probably a fucking NPD zebra playing a duck for everyone else.
and the mascot stuck. There have been several pictures and even a rubber ducky that has zebra stripes and horns, convincing me that the designer is a tribe member.
Click on the last page, 6. You will find the earliest threads.
Beautiful Aspen - we're sorta spatial on here,
We got our own theme song:
and our own mascot
Though shrouded in the mists of history, it is said that the zebraduck is a totem, representing what is and is not, the true embodiment of form lacking substance, the cartoonizing of an agate entity that sliced through our lives. Said entity... which turned out to be plastic
(plastic...hahaha some "Graduate" humor there),
allows us a tangible visual, to grasp the plastic, so to speak, and laugh like the uproarious survivors we truly are.
Playin in the tub's a fine thing.
You (Tribe) are held by many great minds,
souls you do not know.
Anonymous as hell I hid in my shell
took time for me to grow, listen!
sadtoo's fake cowboy parts are hilarious
v's where is she? is nefarious
a quickly spun lie
thinly hides what's inside
You'll survive just stick with us
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
OC born 2001 (I didn't know)
Remarried 2008 (Happy!)
My motto close to dday was
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, he is probably fucking a duck.
Anywho, I have always been very affected by music. I tend to latch onto a album or playlist for a mood. Especially going through a breakup. But this time, I just can't.
Like I got the usual break songs. I am very much enjoying some Taylor Swift "We are never ever getting back together" and throw in some Carrie Underwood "Before He Cheats" yay I am single songs.
But close to dday, I was listening to "Say Something" (A Great Big World) and "Just Give Me a Reason" (Pink) and the my heart is so broken songs. And just bawling and crying and getting all triggery and sad.
And then when I realized that he never really loved me. And that this whole thing was a great big manipulation and farce. All those songs completely lost all triggery sadness for me. I can listen to them and enjoy them. And I don't associate them with STBX in a negative way.
I am actually really happy about that. Because I like all those songs that were making me sad before.
(Please don't judge my taste in music )
"I need a real man", don't know the titles just the lyrics, I sing a lot now, "I'd hold you to all your promises, if I could find one you meant to keep", "these men that I been seein babe, got their soul up on a shelf, you know they could never love me when they can't even love themselves".
I like her strength, her attitude, her independence.
Good night all. I like the one with the horns, it fits.
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
attempted R, it was all a lie
It isn't really empathy... though
When ii was pregnant and then after DD was born, I started paying attention to the way husbands treated their wives. Like in commercials and such. Even on the mommy forum I post in.
And I would sit there (to the commercials and be like "that isn't real life, no one kisses bellies. Or talks to bellies. Or...."
And then in the forum, other moms would talk about how THEIR Hs treated them... which was night and day from how mine treated me. But I would rationalize why it was ok for STBX to treat me poorly.
I think if I had a man treat me nicely, I wouldnt know what to do with him. I might run for the hills.
Joey + Rory "Cheater, Cheater":
Oh, my. I just clicked on this other song from them... "God help my man if he's fooling around"
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
It was perfect because he was and still flying between Thailand (Twat) and California.
The lyrics say I'm praying for your plane's engine to stall. He was also a pivate pilot most of our marriage. It was perfect !
When XH was picking up the kids ( before they could drive themselves) he would pull into the drive and the bird in the tree next to the drive (mockingbird ?). Would start squawking "cheater cheater". It only did hat when he showed up!
I read up on the duck, that is fantastic! I guess I must be getting over being confused by the stripes!
I think I might have died emotionally without music! My favorite song for closure has been Matthew Sweet, Thought I Knew You. It makes me feel empowered but not angry, kind of a tricky balance. I think it is more about accepting myself and what hapened. I also like Stronger Than Ever.
Saw the attorney today and feel really good about creating a separation agreement. I think I know how to sell it and want to get it done while he's still trying to act right and before he has too long to dwell on things.
One week to go until he is out of the house.
Edited for dumb phone typos.
[This message edited by Quakingaspen at 9:31 PM, January 24th (Friday)]
D-Day: Too many to count. LAST time: 16 October 2013.
Separating on the road to brighter things.
And I am paraphrasing:
"LittleFoggy, I have given you plenty of time to clear your head. If you come crawling back to me now and admit how wrong you are, we can maybe make this marriage work. The longer this goes on, the less likely I am to take you back."
Uh. No, thanks. I will take my chances on my own.
In all this, no "I love you" or "I miss you" or anything. he can do better than that.
The longer this goes on, the less likely I am to take you back.
One can only hope!!! If only that meant he'd quit talking to you too...
This is the second email in 2 days about how I need to go groveling back to him.
I am starting to thing maybe their love isn't real after all.
I had to respond. "Do not come to the house on Monday or Tuesday, those are my days off and I do not want to see you."
Holy crap, Mr. Hyde came out in full force.
He wants my rings back, the generator, and reimbursement for my tires and brakes. $2800 and is going to "demand" this in court.
If we do not come to an agreement regarding assets then he is going to "contest" the divorce.
I am to give him back what is "rightfully" his.
My response was, "give me back my faithful husband that vowed to love, protect and honor me or the last 14 years of my life".
He stopped emailing me.
I am now going to forward all his emails to my friend at work before I read them. My friend that understands and is so kind to me, my empathy teacher. He is going to read them first and if I need any info from them he will let me know.
Thank you for this suggestion. It will help with the no contact. He will warn me if I need it and I won't have to read the garbage. He is going to be my human filter.
One thing this is making me realize and it is wonderful. I trust someone. There is a person in real life that I trust. He earned it, he proved it, he shows me everyday that he is trustworthy,he never changes. He likes me even if I make a mistake. He smiles when he sees me. He is consistently kind. He wants nothing from me except to be my friend, to help me through a hard time. He is a gift in my life. He has proved himself to me over time. There are kind people in real life!
Please do not give him anything else. You can not "give" him enough. And just like your marriage, the rules of "rightfully his" will continue to change as he sees fit.
You need to do whatever you can to get an attorney. Legal aid? Borrow from friends or family? Short term loan? Home equity loan? Refi the car? Borrow against 401k? I know these are things nobody wants to do. But I can see this getting really, really UGLY. And you need the help, protection and guidance.
With a lawyer, the next time this idiot starts making demands you can say, "You can't take a shit without talking to my lawyer, Asshole!!"
Sorry, but I don't like your STBXNPDH.
[This message edited by sadtoo at 8:20 PM, January 24th (Friday)]
I tried legal aid. I earn too much, apparently the max is $1200 per year.
No equity in house, mortgage is equal with value, I can't even sell.
No 401k, he had one and cashed it in last year the first time he left.
I am pretty much on my own.
I have to just file on my own and hope for the best. I just have no resources.
The only things I have in my favor is a very descriptive confession of infidelity. He earns double what I earn. There really is nothing else. There is nothing to divide of any value. I just am hoping for a bit of alimony. He probably would not pay anyway.
I honestly don't know what besides the generator has any value. I need it because if I flood, I have a sump pump and lose power, I lose the furnace and water heater.
Also my car is a 2001, not much there either.
I seem to fall between the cracks.