D-Day, June 10, 2012
WW got on the phone and I told her I declined and told him she loves him and will take good care of him.
A beat of disappointment went by and she said, "Well, I'll give him an hour and then we will see."
Translation: "I will give myself an hour and see if I can handle it."
And then: "I did not like that psychiatrist. I don't think he knows anything. I want the kids to see someone else."
Shoot me, please.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
My favorite part?
The psychiatrist just stared at her
It's all coming together for you. Just a long drawn out process to get there.
What a loon. Seriously. She has a severe case of what we call "LOOK AT ME" Syndrome (basically NPD). But she is so Fnuts that you can't get any ground rules established, but now you have reason to counter with the judge that YOU should be the soul decision maker when it comes to medical decisions, esp psychiatric. I would bring up her being fired, and quitting her own psych, her getting you all fired by the kids Psych, and now her not liking this esteemed medical professional, and get a CV on him to show his worth. Show she showed up 45 minutes late, and disagrees with the teacher who spends more time with her daughter than she does. Yah that's a zinger there. The teacher spends more time with your kid than you do, CSTBXWW.
Sorry for that little rant she just chaps my ass, because she is so abusive to the kids for her own well being. Psycho.
omg I hope she's not preggos.
((((AD & poor little kiddos))))
"With POS?" I asked mildly, assuming he knew.
His face fell and he buried it in my chest. "I don't want to go if he will be there."
I followed up with, "It's OK, DS, I'm sure he is very nice, don't worry about me, I'm ok, don't feel guilty," etc., followed by a talk about life, its ups and downs, happiness and sadness, things that we can't control...
Then he asked me again if I have a girlfriend. I told him, yet again. He was very relieved.
Did I make a mistake in "telling" him POS is taking him? (I assumed he knew.)
In any case, I did my best. I know he knows I'm his Dad and all that...but I am dying inside. Fishing has always been "our thing." I know this is just something I have to get used to.
WHY does she have to do this to him now?? Can't she wait? It is TOO. SOON.
You will spend most of their childhood teaching them to deal with their mother.
Sorry you have to deal with more of this crap from her.
We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.
Your pain is understandable. Having another man starting to get involved with your children hurts like shit. Why should they spend time with them when you would happily have them? Right?
This stage will leave you feeling powerless and weak and yet you have to put on a brave face for the children. You have to say that he's a nice man, they'll have fun etc. It hurts like fuck when this is the man who was complicit in grenading your family.
I could tell you that you will always be their stability, their father and the one that will always be there for them but it won't help. It just hurts.
And if she's pregnant, welcome to a new world of fucked up. I'm there with you.
Justice will eventually be served, it just takes a while.
So after our failed mediation, my attorney has secured a hearing in front of a judge for my motion for temporary relief:
Exclusive rights to and possession of the house
Fixed co-parenting schedule
Majority of overnights with me
We will have THIRTY MINUTES. Forgive my naivete, but is this typical? Will he be familiar with the case, familiar enough to just come in and make a ruling? This just seems like not nearly enough time to hear both sides.
In any case, so glad we can cut to the chase finally and actually present to a judge.
Your lawyer sounds great. Let her do the worrying about it.
Remember all that documentation/journaling?
Sounds good all around!
Nothing new, but:
STBXWW has TOLD me--never asks--the time-sharing schedule for the next two weeks.
It doesn't work for me. Again, she decrees that she has the kids on the weekends, and I have them most of the week. No "fun days" for me.
I am sick of this. For three months (since she's had her new job) I have bowed to her schedule with never a protest.
Our hearing isn't until November 21 at the earliest. Do I put up a fight now and tell her, "No--that schedule does not work for me. I want them this weekend." Or do I continue to acquiesce?
If I do stand up for myself all that will happen is more bad blood will boil. I have no law yet to back me up, and she will not be reasonable and "allow" me to have the kids on a weekend.
Tell her those days don't work for you,and offer a different schedule..one that includes a weekend for her..and one for you.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
tell her that's great, you had made plans with a friend.
my guess is that it will drive her nuts. It doesn't matter that she has a guy, and is probably pregnant, she will be bent out of shape knowing that she may have given you time with someone "special."
maybe that's childish, but you will soon have a court decide what's right anyway.
Most likely she'll bail and be at your doorstep on Saturday morning with kids in tow.
Don't show your hand. It's only another couple of weeks and then you can slam her with the anvil of reality.
However, telling her something like that, just to get her to amp up her crazy, I think is a bad idea. Your WW is unstable..and whenever she gets herself into a snit, the kids pay.
I bet if you spend 20 minutes you could find some fun kid/family activities you could take your kids to on weekends. There are harvest festivals this time of year, there are guided nature walks, there are fun little "help the kids make a craft present" classes. There are even free little workshops at Home Depot, for goodness' sakes. I want you to be able to have your kids during the weekend so you can do these things. I want your kids to see that Dad can be a fun guy. I want them to be able to go to school on Monday mornings and brag a bit about the fun they had with Dad.