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Divorce/Separation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Abbondad Part 4...
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Call the doctor first thing Monday morning and get an answer about whether she wrote a prescription or not. These medications can't be started and stopped except under a doctor's plan of building up or tapering off without potential very serious side affects.

If d s were to need to be on them she will need to be responsible and consistant with them and carefully monitor him as well as communicate the observations to the doctor. Plans should be in place already to talk to the school nurse as well.

Unless absolutely necessary the doctor was right that this isn't a situation where this medication can help your son.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1293 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy Sh*t!

Now she's not taking the psychiatrists advice?

Fire a text to her stating that you have conflicting advice. You prefer following a professionals recommendation rather than hers.

Any way to contact your lawyer today?

It's possible that she may have crossed a line with these actions.

Strength

Bright side, even if she does begin administering them today, they can be discontinued while in your care while you get the psychiatrists recommendation in writing.

Wild times ahead. I'm betting she did get notified of your filing


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
rainagain
♀ Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think it's in anyone's best interest to engage that much with an email and if you do send one keep it simple such as: at last appt. Doctor felt xxx. If a prescription was just written and filled without my knowledge it's in ds' best interest to wait until I have a chance to learn from the doctor tomorrow about the change.

Make sure you let his doctor know the details of the phone call when your son was upset about having to take it. Poor little guy b/c it must not have felt safe to him.


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1293 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j @ rainagain
your recommendation or mine, either way. It just needs to be in e-mail or text form. Phone calls can be denied. I tend to get wordy. Pithy may be the answer.
end t/j

AD either way. Can you get ahold of your lawyer for the *best* way to handle this?

There will be a spate of conversations between your lawyer and hers over this. Not a very good way for her to start *mediation*.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Emailed my attorney, who just replied, essentially saying, "First talk to the doctor. This is all demonstrating her inability to co parent."


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1588 | Registered: Dec 2012
woundedwidow
♀ Member
Member # 36869
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AD, since Celexa is NOT recommended for use in treating depresion in children, the doctor must have prescribed it for the "off-label" use of treating anxiety. I thought your DS was already on anti-anxiety meds? If so, ask the Dr. if your STBXW mentioned that fact and which drug it is to him/her before prescribing the Celexa? There could be a possible drug interaction, as there sometimes are between "competing" SSRIs. Also, you might want to ask if there are alternative prescription treatments (that would be discussed with you beforehand, of course). I have taken Celexa for the off-label use of managing fibromyalgia, and I can tell you from personal experience that it can cause immediate, awful stomach cramps (feels like the stomach flu but hits you in painful, rolling waves). That might be a possible reason that your DS doesn't want to take any more medicine if he has already (possibly) been administered a dose. Not that I don't believe your STBXW (sarcasm-sorry). I hope the doctor responds promptly when you call him/her on Monday and that your DS really does not get any of the medication beforehand. Good luck!


Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.

Posts: 370 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: VA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am completely outraged on your behalf. Your STBX may have just royally screwed herself, which ultimately is a good thing. However, she's doing this at the expense of your son, and that is simply intolerable.

Were I in your shoes I would be calling the physician or psychiatrist or whoever it was that prescribed this medication. I'd be calling that person's answering service & pester the hell out of them until they put me in touch with the doctor. I'd tell them this is an emergency, actually.

AD, I have to keep my STBX informed for any situation of my children that is more involved than a cold or well-child check-up. When they were prescribed an anti-biotic I had to tell STBX. I had to tell when my daughter got glasses. What your STBX has done is so far beyond the pale, I can't even think of the words.

I want to go all bulldog on her. I really do.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9535 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Attorney wants to file an emergency motion.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1588 | Registered: Dec 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd do it.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9535 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do some of the legwork urself like call the prescrib doctor for the
Reason he prescribed. When did she take him to doctor or was it over phone. Just my opinion .


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Jan 2012
realitybites
♀ Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

she has gone behind my back and had a prescription filled for Celexa, an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med. No consulting with me.


How could she get a prescription for this med without a doctor script?

Stay calm. She upped the ante here and she has you crazy. Figure out exactly what prescription and how she got it. I agree with your attorney and you need to talk to the doctor.

You do notice that she always ramps up on the weekends when you can't do anything about it.


Posts: 5632 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's never over w my xh . This is why I wanted final say and custody . Everything else was icing on cake. Hoping u get the same


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Jan 2012
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is bordering on child abuse IMO.

What a piece of work she is!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17341 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
standingonmarble
♀ Member
Member # 31217
Default  Posted: 4:41 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think we need to take a step back and think for a minute. Of what benefit would this action have for STBX? This is a calculated move on her part, one she engineered to serve a purpose for herself.

I might, if the opportunity comes up, to feed the beast. I will hazard a guess that she wants to "prove she is a good parent" and is taking care of the kids. Compliment her on her mothering skill (not plural here) and tell her that you are having doubts about all of it, nervous about the doctor's move and that is why you are acting the way you are. Place your doubt on the doctor, not her. It might just be enough for her to back off of giving the meds to your son. It would feed her ego and possibly buy your son some time. I would only suggest this now, because you are far enough along to be in control of your words. You know she is playing a game. And with all the coaching you have received here, you are more aware of the traps she lays out for you to fall into.

Now I don't know your STBX, but you do Abbondad, its always a game with this type, only difference now is that your son is involved.


At one time he was a man standing on marbles. Now I am a woman standing on marble.....

We are done fighting with each other and decide to fight FOR each other.


Posts: 737 | Registered: Feb 2011
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She (the doctor) recommended to me that my son should not begin a new med at this time.

I immediately informed my wife of this. My wife apparently called the doctor after and requested that my son should in fact be put on a new med.

Absolutely, file the motion. DS is already on a med. She wanted the script AMA. Why? Was DS *acting out*? Was his behavior too much for her?

AD, she really stepped in it. It's why I recommended the call to your lawyer. Either she is acting against her lawyers advice or she is acting without it. No way should she have done that without consulting you.

"First talk to the doctor. This is all demonstrating her inability to co parent."

If the Doctor will indeed verify that she didn't want to have DS on the new med at this time and STBXWW ignored that advice AND didn't consult with you prior, the judge should have an easy ruling.

Praying for strength for you brother. These are very trying times.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you continued strength, Abbondad.

((((DS))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25059 | Registered: Aug 2011
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Either she is acting against her lawyers advice or she is acting without it.

This is just what I have been mulling over. Knowing my STBXWW, she is just doing whatever she wants to do, regardless of any reasonable advice. She is a selfish bully, and does not do well with authority--even if "authority" is being paid 300.00 an hour.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1588 | Registered: Dec 2012
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My guess is that she did not consult her lawyer before doing this, and her lawyer will have no idea she did this until s/he hears about it from YOUR lawyer.

File the emergency motion. This is the exact situation that warrants it.


Me (BW) (54), Him(SAWH) (57)
Married 21 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1457 | Registered: Nov 2010
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Abbondad, I'm pretty laissez-faire as a parent---relaxed, and not at all helicoptery. (Not saying you are; you seem quite relaxed and natural. Just giving you an idea of where I am coming from.)

My relaxed attitude ENDS when it comes to psychotropic drugs for kids--especially antidepressants.

This is NOT to say they never should be used. Both of my kids have taken or are taking antidepressants. Sometimes, it is the best choice.

But it is, as you know, a decision that has to be made very carefully. Your wife's unilateral decision is not just poor strategy, but potentially life-threatening.

The time just after starting an antidepressant is a VERY dangerous time---especially for children.

For some, it represents a time when energy previously not available to carry out suicidal ideation becomes available. The incidence of suicide dramatically increases as depression LIFTS. (Seems counterintuitive, but it's the case, particularly in adults.)

For a smaller group, the drug itself causes serious problems. And that "smaller group" is largely comprised of CHILDREN.

I will be the VERY first to say that a seriously anxious or depressed child should be treated--with medication, if necessary.

But I will also be the first to say (and pharmacology is an area of expertise) that medication should be a last resort.

If you have not seen anxiety or depression that warrants the addition of citalopram, then it should not be given. Plain and simple. YOU are the best judge of its necessity.

The prescription came from someone. I'd be very interested to know who prescribed, and under what circumstances. I'd want to talk with the prescriber personally, to ascertain how the decision to prescribe was reached.

I'd document the living daylights out of this---and absolutely do whatever emergency motion(s) your attorney recommends.

This is a big deal.

A BIG BIG DEAL.

Not to frighten, but to emphasize, from Forest Laboratories, the manufacturer of Celexa, a black-box warning:

Celexa (citalopram HBr) Page 1 of 37
Celexa®
(citalopram hydrobromide)
Tablets/Oral Solution
Rx Only
Suicidality and Antidepressant Drugs
Antidepressants increased the risk compared to placebo of suicidal thinking and behavior(suicidality) in children, adolescents, and young adults in short-term studies of major
depressive disorder (MDD) and
other psychiatric disorders. Anyone considering the use of
Celexa or any other antidepressant in a child,
adolescent, or young adult must balance this
risk with the clinical need. ...Patients of all ages who are started on antidepressant therapy should
be monitored appropriately and observed closely for clinical worsening, suicidality, or unusual changes in behavior. Families and caregivers should be advised of the need for
close observation and communication with the prescriber. Celexa is not approved for use in
pediatric patients.
(See WARNINGS: Clinical Worsening and Suicide Risk,PRECAUTIONS: Information for Patients, and PRECAUTIONS: Pediatric Use.

Edited to clean up the spacing of the black box warning.

[This message edited by solus sto at 2:46 PM, September 8th (Sunday)]


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8579 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AD. Sending you hugs and strength. I'm pretty much with Solus on this one.
File the emergency order. She is abusing your son. You want full or greater than 50% this will go a long way to getting you there.
Make sure when you tt the dr that prescribed this that you ask what kind of depression an anxiety screening they performed to allow them toile the judgment of using this additional med. as well.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8229 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
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