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Newest Member: graspingstraws99 (45451)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: bad dream, bad day :(
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I had a dream that she had a new obsession at work. Had sex 2 times with him and confessed to me she couldn't stop. Needless to say I woke up in a bad mood with anxiety and bad feelings flooding my thoughts.

I told her and she was like,"don't let that ruin your day". Heck, it's not her fault I had that dream, but it sure makes an impact when echoes of what you did go on for a very long time.

I hate going back to those feelings.


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
Emotionalhell
♀ Member
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry you had a bad dream.
Just last week I had a bad dream about "them" . It really made me trigger & put me a bad mood.
I believe most of us have some kind of bad dreams after dday.

Posts: 86 | Registered: Jul 2013
yoshi7268
♀ Member
Member # 35519
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know the feeling.

I had two horrible dreams in one night last week and I'm still feeling it.

Hope you feel better soon.


ME-BS-41 WH-45
Married 23 years-together 27
5 beautiful children ages 15-25
Dday1-late June 2011
Dday2-early July 2011
Dday3- early August 2011
Another affair 7 years before.
R going well

Posts: 280 | Registered: May 2012 | From: yoshi7268
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry - she definitely could have had a more sensitive response.

It's funny how dreams feel so real that we have a hard time emotionally accepting that it didn't happen... the feelings just keep coming.

I think that with enough distraction you WILL be able to shake it off, but is there a way to tell your wife that a hug and an apology for providing the nightmare fodder would go a long way to feeling better for the day?


(((2m2q)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz - right before leaving work she kissed & hugged me tightly. I didn't hug her tight.


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
CatchyUsername
♀ Member
Member # 39415
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am only 11 weeks into this but the only dreams I have had lately are with old pre-marriage boyfriends in them! None of WH or AP.

WH on the other hand has had nightmares about the AP and also about friends of mine ganging up on him...


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2013
inshockandhurt
♀ Member
Member # 38789
Default  Posted: 6:04 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The worst part about dreaming for me is waking up and realizing that the nightmare is real. So many times I have woken up from bad dreams about the A; I have that moment of "oh, it was just a dream" and then the reality that it really did happen comes crashing down and it hurts so bad I just want to scream. I am sorry you had a bad dream.


Me: 29 BS
Him:31 WS
D-day1: caught July-ish of 05
D-day2: caught 2/17/13 6 month EA/PA
Both were with friends of mine
2 sons
Trying to reconcile

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past."


Posts: 278 | Registered: Mar 2013
2married2quit
♂ Member
Member # 36555
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's like a traumatic life changing experience. You can't make it go away and when you think it's gone, your brain brings it back in the form of a dream. HUH!


BS - Me 43 WS - Her 41
DDAY - June 2012 (found the texts)
DDAY2 - Next Day (found out who) EA
TT- till 9/2012 (some PA)
Married 20yrs. 2kids
Status: in careful R. Sometimes spinning our wheels

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: USA
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My approach is to view nightmares as pain coming out, making itself known, and leaving my body. It's just lots and lots of pain, so it seems to take forever.

(signed) sisoon/pollyanna


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10431 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have bad dreams just about every night.

I experience that feeling when I wake up crying, it's just a dream, oh no, wait, this was real, I am just remembering, again.

I look to the day when I wake up past 4am and look at the sun and smile.

I believe it will come, I just have to work for it.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divor


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it isn't her fault you had that dream whose is it? Both hubby and I had dreams last night him his usual I fall into someone else's arms dream and me I have to interact with one of his OW dream.
It's part of the fallout that we caused each other. Probably would have the same dream if we were apart too so no use feeling sad. We can't change it....


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5339 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 11

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