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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Focus returned!!!!!
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today I successfully made a pitch to our CEO to move forward with a major project...something our company has had a desire to do for 2 years but failed to find the right mix of people and software to make this happen....until today at 2 p.m.

I have made 2 unsuccessful runs at getting this project off the ground since my DD...other managers have picked at it too with the same results....but today I DID IT!

I know this is an infidelity site and posts involve the trials associated with that...and I would much prefer to post about a great breakthrough my wife and I have had, but I am not in a position to do that yet...but this small career victory is a part of my journey.

Today I regained crystal clear focus (a trait that was common place in me pre-A, but I lost it during the tsunami of the A) and was at the top of my game during this presentation...I felt it going into it, and that feeling grew the more I got into my presentation...man it felt GOOD!!!! I witnessed our CEO go from an interrogation posture to one of coaching as he got excited about what I was proposing and recognized what I saw...that this is something our Board of Directors will support!

This is particularly remarkable to me in that my pitch came AFTER a MC session. Those of you who have followed my journey know that the last 2 sessions left me angry and upset. I woke this morning early and knew these two items were on my schedule today. I started the day by reading in the devotional my wife gave me for Christmas, a short prayer, and my two girls coming out to the living room because a storm was rolling through (it had woken them)...although it was 4 a.m...it all felt....right.

I am posting to say it felt really good today to feel like I use to feel about a part of my life-- my career...alive, vibrant, and confident. That part of me went into a coma following my DD....it may have a relapse any moment...but for now I am breathing it all in deeply.

Completed my day by taking my girls to the pool.

Today was a good day.

God be with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:52 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3411 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome congratulations!!!


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
brokensmile322
♀ Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you, Blakesteele! Enjoy it!


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1415 | Registered: Jun 2012
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great news Blake! I, too, have started to get some of my mojo back just in the last few weeks and it feels soooo good! i really thought I had lost it forever. It's been a longer than normal road for me, as my healing has been repeatedly put on hold due to my ill son's repeated relapses.

It's a great feeling! Enjoy!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7021 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
catlover50
♀ Member
Member # 37154
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!!



Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1710 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So proud of you! One of the many sad aspects of this frigging mess is that I'm up for tenure this year, and SHOULD be focused on tenure, and nothing but bloody tenure. I find myself unhealthily suppressing stuff because I need to get the damned article out, or whatever. Such a struggle. Be proud of yourself!


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Aug 2012
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone!

Blobette...I sense the struggle within you. To be quite sure today was an unusual day. As recently as yesterday I struggled with focus regularly\constantly...it just lifted today.

Peace be with you...I pray that you will find the focus and clarity when you need it.

My peace and focus of today just came to me...I can not discern any one thing that got it for me.

Gosh...to read my posts on this thread it sounds like I just cured famine in the world!

While I am thankful for what happened today, I fully understand the insignificance of the actual task I accomplished today...but the FEELING I felt today WAS significant.

God be with us all.


ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not

Posts: 3411 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am happy for you blakesteele! May you get many more days like the one you got today.

LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2116 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So glad for you! Cheers!


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 351 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds amazing and empowering!! Good job, and I hope that kind of focus and clarity continues to carry you. :)


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1177 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds amazing and empowering!! Good job, and I hope that kind of focus and clarity continues to carry you. :)


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1177 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 1:53 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am absolutely thrilled for you blakesteele! Well done

It is always so encouraging to read posts like this, gives me hope!


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 912 | Registered: Oct 2012
struggling3
♀ Member
Member # 34671
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is a wonderful thing when you start to feel that focus returning. I read my first book in two years recently. I'm glad it made you feel so good and productive....excellent for your mental health :))))


Me - BS 55
H - WS 57/very remorseful and supportive
Kids 28, 25, 22
D-Day 8-5-11
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic

Posts: 296 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's GREAT!


fBH (me) - 65+, fWW (her) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9773 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations!!!


Me-50 BS
Him 57-WS
Married 30 yrs, together 33
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1533 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Twentyplus
♀ Member
Member # 39593
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy for you! Jealous here. I still can't fight my way out of the proverbial paper bag. Raging case of PTSD since end of his long siege of TT 11 mo ago. EMDR next, I guess.

Your posts are great, BS. You enlighten & encourage.


"But we must supply our own light." - Stanley Kubrick


Posts: 51 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: The Big Blue Sea
Topic Posts: 16

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