File for divorce.
That shows him you refuse to share your husband. And it pushes him off the fence..either he pulls his head out of his selfish ass(aka The Fog)..and work to R with you..or he leaves.
It also shows him you refuse to let him eat cake.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
[This message edited by confused615 at 10:28 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]
[This message edited by WeepingWillow1 at 10:50 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]
But if he can wake up and realize what a dumbass he's been...maybe one day he will deserve you.
I would recommend moving. I understand that doing so will feel like she's won..but who really cares what some little stripper whore thinks? Not you..right? Because you are a million times better than she is. I would move,if it were me. Even if she moves,her apartment will always be "her apartment" to you. It will always hurt. Moving will give you a new safe place..one that isn't infested with the stench of whore in the air.
I think I may have misunderstood your last post. Do you know that your H is driving by her house everyday? This is a huge red flag.
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA/then PA
In MC & Reconciling
I edit, therefore I am.
I'm most sad for my daughter right now. This is not the life I pictured for her or for myself
Totally understand this sentiment but it is the life your WH gave you both. It's real, it happened and it stinks.
Agree with the others, the quickest way out of the fog is file for divorce. I had general papers drawn - 10 days post DDay.
I said if that is what you want then you can have it but neither I or your children (we have 3) will succumb to the filth and the lies you have brought into our lives and our home. I turned around and walked out.
He was calling me crying within 2 minutes. Apologizing, begging for forgiveness, etc. Reality is a bitch.
Don't be an option. Make him choose. It's better to know and build a life built on truth vs. wondering and waiting.
Please tell me you have been tested for STD's.
It's not easy but you will feel as if you have the power back and you will feel proud you took a stand for you and your daughter.
I think all people sometimes twist reality to their own liking to justify something in their lives that may not have anything to do with cheating, and later wonder WTF was I thinking? To me, fog is not some unique thing that a WS is "in" while cheating or pining away and missing their AP.
With that said, I agree with this:
File for divorce.
He recently was told that Striptease McGee has slept with 68 people. She's 18 fucking years old. The best part was that my husband was blown away by that number. He has somehow managed to put her in a completely different light all of this time. It must be the dim light glow of the strip joint that makes her look like an angel?
[This message edited by WeepingWillow1 at 12:49 PM, July 22nd (Monday)]
The 180 is a set of practices aimed at helping you to find your strengths and to learn that you can make a good life for you and your daughter without your H. There's a lot of 180 info on SI; you can start here: http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11.
Of course, if your H won't give up his fantasy, you'll probably want to file; that's part of the 180.
I use the term 'fog' to mean 'out of touch with reality'. Your H is in the fog, but it's his problem - there's nothing you can do about it but protect yourself and hope he comes back to reality. Only he can get himself out of his fog.
It seems that most do not end things until they know they are about to lose everything.
Side note... I tried to hold everything together for my daughter (and sons), then I thought about it and although I was willing to forgive and I did want to show my kids the power of forgiveness, there comes a point where you also have to show them (especially your daughter) that a woman should not allow a man to treat her that way even if it does happen to be her daddy. Be strong. It sounds like you have your head on straight.
I don't know how you can pass her house each day..whew that must be rough. I think moving would be the best option.
Good luck to you.
When I first found out what was going on (well sort of, he wasn't exactly truthful in the beginning, but I knew something was up) I packed his shit, and also ended up changing the locks. I feel like the door locks really set off an alarm in his head. Probably one of the last days he spent away from home was right before I changed the locks. I looked him dead in the eyes and said "You don't live here anymore. This isn't your home, and I'm not your family. Your kind is down the street. Welcome to your new life." It pissed him right off, but it also brought their fun to a screeching halt. She was a good time, until she became something permanent. I guess he never thought of a stripper as a long term investment? Idiot.
[This message edited by WeepingWillow1 at 3:13 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]