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Newest Member: SoLostStillNumb (44248)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Another DDay- this time I'm out!!!!
ArableSands
♂ Member
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FeelingFoolish, you're strong and awesome. Wish I was nearby, I would buy you a coffee and cheer you on.

You're handling this with integrity and dignity. You're an example for us all.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hard to believe that they could put you through this twice, but they often do. So sorry the reconcilliation failed, but I think you will be fine and will now have the freedom to be happy. Good luck and keep posting!


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1276 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strong? Integrity? Dignified?

Thanks so much for the encouragement! I certainly don't feel any of the above. I am a hot mess on the inside!! Can't quit crying.

Spoke to WH this morning. It was a rather subdued conversation. Told him i filed and that I could/would not live like this anymore. Telling the Howorker that he loves her was a dealbreaker for me.
Oh, and last night, he said to me, "I don't love that bitch!" That's too bad he doesn't because he lost his family for someone who wasn't really that important to him.

WH said that he thought we should just separate for a while and then file for divorce if necessary, that filing for divorce right now was 'a bit over the top'. I said "No, I'm not going to separate from you so you can go sow your oats for however long and then come back home. Not gonna happen. You don't want to stop seeing her. If you did, you would."

WH said he understood. I told him he could be free now to do whatever he wanted--text whoever, visit whoever, email whoever. And I wouldn't have to be home knowing he was disrespecting me by continuing the relationship with her.

That's his big issue with me, that i check his phone and email. I don't check it as often as some BS, i know that for a fact!!

So, that's my update. I hope to have him served today or tomorrow.

To all new BS's, remember---It's that simple. If a WS wants to end the relationship with the AP, they will. If they don't end it, it's because they don't want to.


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 522 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
naivegirl
♀ Member
Member # 14234
Default  Posted: 8:15 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you. Stay strong. I know it is hard. That is what my husband wanted too, time to be seperated and act single. When push came to shove he never went no contact and became completely transperant until divorce became a reality. They cake eat as long as they think they can. Sorry for what you are going through. You deserve better and a better future is ahead for you.


Me BS 39
Him WH 38

D-day #1 Jan 31 2007
D-Day #2 March 25 2007
Roll on Roll on Roller Coaster
We're one day older and one step closer
Roll on there's mountains to climb
Roll on we're on borrowed time
-Kid Rock

Working on Re


Posts: 1739 | Registered: Apr 2007
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is FTG?


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 522 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((FF)))
YOU are amazing. Go girl go. Stay stong.

FTG = Fu*# That Guy.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 7795 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
noprincess
♀ Member
Member # 38660
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((feelingfoolish)))

FTG is F*#k That Guy

Stay strong girl, I know how much this hurts. You're doing great and you're going to be ok. Believe it!

We're here for you.


"Never, never, never give up." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 138 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Pennsylvania
luvbug0915
♀ Member
Member # 22934
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FeelingFoolish, I admire your strength and determination. I had a short period of false R, just 4 months but I too filed D the day after I confirmed he was still in contact and professing his love. I don't regret the D one tiny bit. Stay strong.

Oh and FTG = f@#k that guy or if you want the tame version...forget that guy.


"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle


Posts: 1027 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Metro Atlanta
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((feelingfoolish)))

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending you strength.


Posts: 33817 | Registered: Mar 2011
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Happy  Posted: 10:29 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For what it is worth...

YOU ARE MY HERO TODAY

I can only imagine how incredibly hard this has been and is on you.

I don't want to minimize the magnitude of your filing for divorce. I am sorry that your marriage has ended this way.

I am, however, so inspired by your courage and your ability to stand up to your WH.

You took the power back and said enough. After three Ddays you had enough.

Stay strong and know that you are defining your life going forward. You are not waiting on him to "come around" or "recommit".

Kudos to you. You are not foolish you are incredible.

The best is yet to be.

Prayers and hugs


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2013
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1Faith--Thank you so much! This has been an incredible decision to follow through with. I just keep telling myself-this is for the best.

I really appreciate your support. It made me cry.


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 522 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Happy  Posted: 11:06 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New Beginnings
by Gertrude B. McClain

It's only the beginning now
...a pathway yet unknown
At times the sound of other steps
...sometimes we walk alone

The best beginnings of our lives
May sometimes end in sorrow
But even on our darkest days
The sun will shine tomorrow.

So we must do our very best
Whatever life may bring
And look beyond the winter chill
To smell the breath of spring.

Into each life will always come
A time to start anew
A new beginning for each heart
As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares of life are great
And hands are bowed so low
The storms of life will leave behind
The wonder of a rainbow.

The years will never take away
Our chance to start anew
It's only the beginning now
So dreams can still come true.

Stay strong my friend. Big hugs and many prayers.


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2013
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey - 1Faith isn't the ONLY one with hero worship!

Put ME on the list, as well!

Job well done.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1551 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
Jospehine85
♀ Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To all new BS's, remember---It's that simple. If a WS wants to end the relationship with the AP, they will. If they don't end it, it's because they don't want to.

Well said.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 811 | Registered: Jun 2012
Spelljean
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((feeling)))

So true. Grown ups know how to end a relationship if they want to.

He didnt' want to.

I'm sure it hasn't hit him yet, but it will.

But it doesn't matter how hard it does or doesn't hit him. Like the other said "Stay strong."


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
feelingfoolish
♀ Member
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UPDATE: Yesterday, i worked until 5p. Came home briefly for a lunch break-WH was sleeping. When i got home from work at 5p, WH was sleeping.

I ran some errands with DS, cooked dinner and then had a counseling appt at 8p. WH was still sleeping when i was doing these things.

I went to bed around 10p. Slept in our extra bedroom-never have done that before.
I see that WH was up briefly some time during the night but he was asleep again when i left this morning.

This amount of sleep is rather unusual for him. Is reality of his choice finally sinking in?


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 522 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
Jospehine85
♀ Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

feelingfoolsih,

Keep a diary of how much WH is sleeping and the fact that you are providing the bulk of care for your DS. Log it. Log that you ran the errands, you made DS dinner and that WH slept.

It may be useful in determining custody.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 811 | Registered: Jun 2012
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Extensive sleep is a sign of depression.

But he may also be sleeping to avoid the reality of his life and his choices.

Ball is in his court. Stay strong and hang on to the 180.

(((Hugs)))


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2013
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 5:30 AM, July 25th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We say here--actions, not words. So don't worry about what he is feeling in the inside. What is he doing?

Jack shit. Selfishly sleeping.


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8789 | Registered: Jan 2008
Topic Posts: 39
Pages: 1 · 2

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