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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: That was unexpected
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ex-shat texted, asked if he could pick Teslet up tomorrow at 7 a.m.

Um...no, he has soccer camp, idiot. It's on the fucking google calendar, moron...get a clue. He's not available till noon.

That was not the unexpected part. This was: when I told Teslet he was going to dad's this weekend, he got very upset and didn't want to go. Said dad doesn't have yogurt, doesn't have enough closets, makes him eat all his food, makes him eat hamburgers even though he doesn't like hamburger--he likes peanut butter, it's boring there, dad doesn't have any games in boxes, he doesn't want to see stripper-whore.
Jesus, think maybe the kid is just trying to protect himself from the let-down of dad not showing up last visit? Seriously, it only took that one fuck-up and Teslet is on his guard. Of course, maybe there is more that has tipped his guard and dad not showing up was the break point.

At first I tried making suggestions about asking dad to get him some yogurt...but when he said the closet thing, I kinda figure this is a way he is trying to protect himself for whatever disapointment he feels is coming...???

He does not feel secure and it kills me.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4726 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He does not feel secure and it kills me.

I feel you mamma.

((((Telsa & Teslet))))

Has he not seen him for 4 weeks? If so it could be that too.

How the fuck do you just not show up for your kid. EOW, its not that fucking hard to work out.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5651 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And the fucker never calls his son, never involves himself in his son's life...just wants to plug Teslet into unicorn fartland.

He's trying to sell Teslet on the awesomeness of affairyland...I'm not sure Teslet is buying it.

Holy Shit, sbb, you're right, it has been a month!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4726 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not sure Teslet is buying it

Really? You're not sure? 'Cuz I think that if the glow of DismalLand has faded already, if ex-shat is such a major asshole that not even a trip like that could buy him some residual "wowmydadisawesome!" shineola....

No, baby Teslet isn't buying.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 9995 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. Yep. And Yep.

I wish I could say it was much different with 50/50. They get to feel like an inconvenience OR prized cows depending on whether or not he has an audience.

The sad clown LOVES my girls - he proclaims it for all to hear.... what he doesn't tell them is that it is conditional on them being nice, doing what they are told and loving/happy/thrilled to see him.

They are already learning they have to earn his love, they are already learning to perform for reward. They are 5.5 and almost 3.

They are the easiest kids on the planet. Seriously. People comment on it all the time. So sweet and lovely. I'm the luckiest mummy on the planet.

Now do you know what this fucktard does when my 5 year old hurts his feelings by saying "I want Mummy" when she is unhappy about being told no by him? He calls me and angrily announces he is dropping them back to me - within earshot of them.... making me out to be their punishment. Nice.

I put an end to that. "Stop rejecting them when you feel rejected by them. Man the fuck up and learn how to manage your emotions like a grown up or give up 50% custody. Stop asking me to save you. I'll save them for the rest of my life - I have no intention of saving you".

I'm reading Divorce Poison. I have had to keep putting it down because I am so stunned at how familiar many of the scenarios are.

FTG(s).


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5651 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

just wants to plug Teslet into unicorn fartland.

OMG, that pretty much sums up what these clowns do doesn't it?

(((all parents dealing with this bullshit)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17684 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And the fucker never calls his son, never involves himself in his son's life...just wants to plug Teslet into unicorn fartland.

Exactly. My XH does the same thing. The only time I hear from him is EOW. He never calls to talk to J (and J LOVES to talk on the phone) and never checks in at all unless it's time for him to pick up.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
FirstLoveGone
♀ Member
Member # 25957
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here, you wouldn't even know DD has a dad aside from the EOW and one weeknight a week.

Ever since me met his scumbag of a wifetress, he treats DD like an "accessory," rather than an integral part of his life.

Assholes - the whole lot of them.


Posts: 1278 | Registered: Oct 2009
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 5:32 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Teslet is ego kibble for ex-shat. He gets to show him off for 48 hours..."look what my genes produced, aren't I a stud??!!"

By the time ex-shat got here (4:30), Teslet had worked dad back up on the pedestal. Pretty sure that pedestal is cracked based on last night and this morning.

He'll have fun, dad will 'win' him back with shock and awe parenting, but the disconnect is there.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4726 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aw, poor teslet. One day he won't be able to repair that image of his dad so easily.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wait a minute -

He wanted to pick up Teslet at 7 am but couldn't because of soccer camp.

Why couldn't he show up at soccer camp and actually pretend that he is interested in what his son is doing?

If Teslet was available at noon, why did he not show up until 4:30?

Father of the year - NOT!


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3464 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Teslet is ego kibble for ex-shat. He gets to show him off for 48 hours..."look what my genes produced, aren't I a stud??!!"

Yup. Same here. Assface hardly every calls the kids. When he does see them he is Super, fantastic father of the year. He takes them to Sea World, the beach. He acts so interested in them, plays with them, etc. Like he is the ultimate father.

What a fucking hypocrite.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

gahurts, you nailed it. And that's what I mean about just wanting to plug teslet into his life.

Teslet is in the beginning stages of defining his own life, desires, and hopes. Ex-shat looks at Teslet as an extension of himself and not as a separate being.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4726 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 13

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