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Newest Member: Devestatedbeyond (44583)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Pity Party for One
Griefstricken25
♀ Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked for prayer and good thoughts last week, sending my kids off with their absentee sperm donor, whom they hadn't seen since Jan. 2011.

The visit is somewhat staggered, in that he spent 2 days in our city, then took the older two, and tomorrow I deliver my baby halfway to him, then he'll take her the rest of the way to his mother's farm.

So my boys have been gone for 3 days and I phoned them tonight and the younger one (6) was very hyper and wouldn't stay on the phone (I know, they're kids, phone isn't easy). The older one got on and immediately asked if he could watch a particular movie I wouldn't let him watch at home, right away putting me in the role of bad guy for telling him I didn't want him to. Then he grunted and moped the rest of the call.

I leave my baby tomorrow. My baby, who I've never been apart from, other than a night or two, and that was with MY parents, who she sees all the time. Everything in my body and spirit is resisting her going (8 hours away), and I have to do it. I had a meltdown with a friend on the phone tonight.

My kids sound thrilled to not be home. They don't miss me. My daughter wishes she could have gone with her brothers. I mean, she's 3, so she doesn't REALLY know what it's like to be away from me, but still. No tears for mama. No missing mama.

I feel like all my former in-laws are practically *gloating* that they got my kids there.

I just want a LITTLE bit of love. I just want to know they miss me and long for me a LITTLE bit. I do freakin' everything. I can't compete with 10 days of non-stop fun and games, though.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2504 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((grief))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24746 | Registered: Aug 2011
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They do love you Grief. As you said, they are just at playland right now. Everything is fun, everything is revolving around them, they aren't being given a moment to miss you.

I know it's killing you right now, but see it for what it is. Your kids are on an adventure. I'm betting at bedtime, in the dark, in a strange room, they are missing you. When your X knows it's time for your call, they are making sure the kids are busy/happy/doing something FUN so you don't get your satisfaction.

Just know it will end soon, and hopefully he will disappear for another 2 years.

{{{hugs}}}


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5405 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Grief)))

I'm betting at bedtime, in the dark, in a strange room, they are missing you.

This. You are mom. You can not be replaced. I wish I could fast forward the next 10 days for you. Sending you strength.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:56 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]


Posts: 34430 | Registered: Mar 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope the time passes with lightning speed, and devistatedmom is right on the money-- they're with Disney Dad right now, so everything is super fun! I heard a lot of that at first as well. Now... well, my kids aren't miserable, but it's not as exciting as it used to be. Your kids will get there in time as well.

(((Grief)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3571 | Registered: Oct 2011
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:04 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Griefstricken25)))


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4729 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 6

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