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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Her car is at my house...
hangingontohope7
♀ Member
Member # 20024
Helpless  Posted: 11:25 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I consulted with an attorney on Tuesday. It went very well. She advised me to collect copies of our tax return from last year and, if possible, copies of my WH paystubs. He has had off the past 2 days and had the kids, so I figured that I would head over to the marital home before work to grab some of the paperwork. He leaves early in the morning because he has a 45 minute commute. Well, I pull on to our street and OW's car is parked in my driveway! Seriously? She is in my home, by herself. Thankfully, I took all of my important documents, jewelry, etc right after DDay. There is nothing of mine that holds real value left in the home. Just some knick-knacks and books which I figured that I would move this weekend.

It took all of my physical willpower not to storm into that house and clock this b*tch!! I have not been confrontational with either her or my WH. I moved out with the kids to avoid that sort of drama. My kids need me! They need a parent who is thinking rationally. He told me that she wouldn't be there if he wasn't home. Sure... Guess I just caught him in ANOTHER lie. Sadly, I'm not really that surprised, just really pissed off.

I'm meeting the attorney at 3:30 this afternoon to put down my retainer. This was the last straw. And if he is lying about her being at the house without him, then he will also lie about her being around my kids. The attorney said that we can petition the court to physically keep her away from my children. I hope it works. He just doesn't care how bad that will screw them up!!


Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.


Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugghhh.... I'm so sorry.


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ohh you're a better person than me. my rage would have overcame any maturity or sensibility.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3389 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
LisaP
♀ Member
Member # 15088
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow..just Wow!

You snapped a pic, right??


Me BS

Divorced!

~Feel your emotions, but control your behavior~ Unknown


Posts: 2190 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Oregon
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats on not beating her down.

For future reference, I've heard that soda eats the paint off of cars ...


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 762 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
hangingontohope7
♀ Member
Member # 20024
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did take a picture. I've been keeping my camera on me at all times.

I am officially under legal counsel as of 3:30pm today. I asked my lawyer if I can do anything about her being there but she said unfortunately, he invited her in. But, she keeps insisting we can petition the court to keep her away from the children. Maybe not forever but we will try. OW doesn't have custody of her own daughter. I'm not entirely sure why but I did tell the lawyer that tidbit of information. She is currently working on the custody agreement.

It was a tough pill to swallow forking out that much money but I needed to put my b*tch boots on and file. No more being "nice." I only wish I could see the look on his face was he is finally served. I don't think he will expect it all. I'm trying to hang on to the feeling that I took back just a little bit of control. No more waiting on him to file or feeling like he is holding stuff over my head. He wants to play house with Little Miss Hotpants, let him. We'll see how long he lasts in fantasy land.

But, more importantly, I'm taking the first step to my new life. A better life without his cheating and lies.


Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.


Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you for seeing a L and getting ready to file. It's a hard, huge step, but it's the one that is going to put an end to the roller coaster for you.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5521 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he said unfortunately, he invited her in.

What an appropriate way to describe her-- like a vampire.

OW doesn't have custody of her own daughter. I'm not entirely sure why but I did tell the lawyer that tidbit of information.

Ask your L if she can run a background check on the OW. That sounds highly suspicious. My L told me that if the OW didn't have custody of her kids, that was a huge red flag. The OW in your case might have a rap sheet, which would give you further ammunition in keeping her away from your kids.

I'm sorry that she's at the marital home. The Owife in my situation is now permanently parked at mine.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
hangingontohope7
♀ Member
Member # 20024
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As much as I hope that she will drop WH once the excitement wears off, I have a feeling she is going to dig in like a tick. WH is her ticket to her own home. She has been slowly bringing things over to the house. It started with toiletries, then clothes and shoes. Now, my WH has given her a drawer. He says that she isn't moving in, she just has some stuff there. Right... she is slowly moving in. And it doesn't seem to bother either of them that its still legally my house. I will be glad once my things are officially moved out this weekend. When I go over to pick up things, it doesn't feel like it was ever my home.

OW currently lives with her mother and sister. They are in debt up to their eyeballs and always on the verge of being evicted. Her sister has a serious rap sheet but I can't find any dirt on the OW... yet. I'm wondering if its simply a case of not wanting to take care of her child, who resides with the paternal grandmother. WH was foolish enough to tell me this information when I was getting the "we're just friends" story. I have questioned whether this issue of custody is true or not. But, seeing that she has been spending the night at the marital home almost every day for the past 2 weeks, expect when WH has the boys, I'm thinking its a safe bet that she doesn't have physical custody.

[This message edited by hangingontohope7 at 9:13 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]


Me: BW
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing

Burn everything love then burn the ashes.


Posts: 247 | Registered: Jun 2008
Topic Posts: 9

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