And then - holy crap! - I had been awake, musing over the day for 15-20 minutes, and I hadn't yet thought of the A!
Obviously, the A still impacts my life, but it's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake up or the last thing before I fall asleep. If it's not yet time to declare victory for my own recovery, that time is close.
A lot of my musing this AM was about my birthday, next Tuesday - my 69th. In a year and 5 days, if anyone mentions '69', I'll be able to say, 'I did 69 for a whole year.'
The real key is 70. I welcome 50 and 60, but 70! In my gut, I always thought - and I still think, I guess - that 70 is 'old', but here I am just a year away, and getting closer every day.
Maybe the problem is that I believe the messages we send ourselves are extremely powerful, and if I think I'll become old in a little over a year, I'll actually become 'old'. So I guess my task for the year is to change my idea of 'old' to something like 'just another opportunity for growth and adventure, like every other age'. And then I have to keep thinking of 'growth and adventure' as 'learning to do new things and to do them'
Or something like that....
Also, I'm way different from how I thought any 69 year old would be. I have to do more thinking about this....
Anyway, thanks for reading.
4 kiddos in lower 20's
“The destination of the journey could not be altered, only the manner in which one approached it - whether one chose to walk erect or to be
69 now is NOTHING like the 69 you knew as a young man.
My parents both turn 70 this year, my mom next week. They are two of the most active, dynamic, awesome people I know. They have been blessed with relatively good health, but they also make sure they take care of themselves. But they did abuse their bodies when they were younger (old hippies).
So I say embrace it, have fun, and enjoy all the birthdays.
Happy Bday to you!!!!
My H turned 60 yesterday. NEVER in all my years did I think I would be married to a 60 yr old But here I am!
sioon, didn't you hear? Any one UNDER 80 is still young? Oh yeah, those number will change as we get closer to 'em!
Enjoy your year of "69"!
As to 69.....I turned 60 earlier this year and still can't believe I'm in the sixth decade....it is nothing like I thought......hell my folks were so old at 60!!!!
I think you are right the messages we send ourselves are powerful.....maybe even self-fulfilling....
Either way.....hope your birthday is great and 'doing 69 for a year' is everything you wish for!
Congratulations on your first thoughts this morning.
You give me hope.
"When the game is over, I won't walk out the loser, and I know that I'll walk out of here again"
I love when I realize I started my day without the A invading my brain first thing. Still waiting for the day it doesn't visit for the whole day but slow progress is better than no progress. We will get there some day.
SI has been a supremely important part of my healing. SI is support when I ask for it, and a willing audience when I want to vent. Time after time, member after member has helped me clear up my thinking with the issues they raise and the comments they make. The opportunity to post has also helped me clarify my thinking and interact with so many people whom I'd like to meet. Even not so welcome messages from the mods have helped me heal.
'Thanks, SI' only begins to express my gratitude to DS, MH, and to everyone else who built SI and keeps it going.
I too didn't know what to expect from your title.
Good for you. I am happy that you are finding yourself and your footing again.
Good for you and congrats on your birthday. Celebrate you and all that you are.
On the A not being front and center. I was recently outside a connivence store and a woman was on the phone - and her call had nothing to do with an A! So there are actually people out there not completely consumed by this topic! Just crazy.
Does that also mean in five days you can say you did 69 for a whole year???
I was so happy to read of that lovely moment with your wife. Did you tell her?
As for age: I turned 65 recently, and my first thought was, eek, how did I get old enough for Medicare? But you know what? I feel nothing close to what I'd always imagined I would feel like at this age. Actually, I've been doing yoga for several years, and I'm convinced that I am more flexible and have better balance than I did 10 years ago.
I think that staying active physically and mentally is the key to aging well. Clearly, you are doing these things. (Dancing lessons--wow, I wish my FWH would do that!) Don't let the numbers get you down!
D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA
Maybe the problem is that I believe the messages we send ourselves are extremely powerful
So true Sisoon! A bday card I love reads: You are never too old to become younger.
Here's to Tuesday!
it's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake up or the last thing before I fall asleep.
I remember when this ^^^^ happened to me. I honestly felt as if I was turning a corner and life was getting better. I now live for the day when I go 24hrs without thinking of my WH affair.
Happy birthday! Age, it's only a number!
My WH just turned 60 this week. I told him the same thing, it really is just a number. What really matters is how you feel and how you live.
Wishing you a wonderful year ahead, one that is filled with "growth and adventure"
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Be well and have a wonderful day!
It's great that the affair isn't the first thing to cross your mind in the morning anymore. I've had a couple days where the thoughts are delayed for a few minutes but they always come. One day...
Good work on the continued healing.
Surrender to the truth of life.
Happy belated and enjoy your 69!!!