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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Well, shit, y'all
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Long story, but I just found out today that he went a couple weeks ago and filled out a move out form for our military housing - the house I have sole use of in our temp agreement - without notifying me. Today was the first I heard of it, when I found out they're expecting me to move out in about 2 weeks, and yes, I really do have to, because it's a military rule and civilian courts can't influence that. They won't even tel me the exact move out date, since he's the member, so I don't even know exactly when me and my 3 kids and all our stuff are supposed to be out.

Court is tomorrow. I wonder how this will play out for him. He claims he told his attorney to tell mine, but there are a few reasons I don't believe that. I'll keep them to myself so I can explain them as needed in court though, if anyone asks. :) I had a mild emotional breakdown when I first got the phone call this morning, but I'm learning how incredibly, ridiculously strong I am when I need to be, so I pulled my shit together after crying for ten minutes and I'm okay. The kids don't know yet, because I can't tell them until the hearing tomorrow, when I figure out what I'm going to have to do. Who does this to their kids though? Especially a special needs kid who doesn't deal well with change?

I debated posting because it seems like everything I say might aggravate the situation by inflaming him, but damn it, he's going to act badly no matter what I do, so might as well just talk.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a lowlife bastard. Lawsey, I really want to kick him where it counts.

(((Coraline)))
(((kids)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto Nature_Girl.
Do you have family or help nearby that can help you get the move done on record time?

((( Coraline and kiddos )))


Me - 42
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 6043 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What kind of a lowlife could do that to his children????

I'm so sorry Coraline.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4365 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no no no no no!
I sent you a pm.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 18, DS 15
Mediation date: 7/10/14 and 7/22/14
Final final court date: Oct 2014

Posts: 2110 | Registered: Oct 2012
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This will not go over well in court for him.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4680 | Registered: Feb 2008
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I would pay to be a fly on the wall when the judge hears about THIS bullshit tomorrow! Yeah, they really love adulterous POSs that boot their wives and children out of the house onto the street. I hope the judge awards you both of his ears and that ridiculous excuse for a forward-facing tail. Which you might need tweezers to find.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4550 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Coraline
♀ Member
Member # 36434
Default  Posted: 3:10 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Skan, your posts are always some of my favorites, lol. :)

I have some friends here and all are willing to help me. I just have no idea how it will be possible for me to pack this house up. We have SO MUCH STUFF, and 3 kids, 2 of them very little. I really *need* a moving company to do it, but I don't know how to pay for that, and I can probably only afford a 2 bedroom in this expensive city, which sucks with 3 kids, but whatever. We're going to need a big storage unit for the rest of our stuff.

I'm not going to stress about it until I know what I'm expected to do. Then I'll figure it out, and it's going to suck, but I will manage. I'm just so, so devastated for my kids. This block of this neighborhood is something special. Our neighbors help each other out like family. I hang out with my next door neighbor literally 5 to 7 days each week. She's one of my best friends in the world. We both have 3yo girls, who are best buddies and play together all the time, and my 1yo thinks she's her second mother. 1yo cries whenever neighbor leaves, always runs to her to be picked up whenever she sees her, etc. My 9yo has friends she goes out to play with literally every day. I can't believe he's doing this to them.

He can hide behind military rules as his excuse all day, but he didn't give a crap about rules when he was boinking his married co-worker, or when he was boinking that 20yo girl 8 years ago (because I no longer believe that was an EA, after finding out this wasn't) or when he was violating HIPAA with this new one. Now we're all supposed to believe he cares? Please. If he hadn't told housing to kick me out, they wouldn't have. Plain and simple. But even if he HAD to tell them, he could've made sure I had proper notice, so I could secure a new place and prepare my kids.


Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.

Posts: 771 | Registered: Aug 2012
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 3:32 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cora))))

No good words for you, just some hugs & some empathy.

He sounds like a real fucking shit. I'm sorry.



Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 725 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:23 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's having you thrown out of your house? He is having his children thrown out of their home?

OMG.

You read alot of shitty things here on SI...this is one of the worst. Wow. Im speechless.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7112 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 5:42 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a poor excuse of a human being.

Take heart friend - he has so few buttons to push he is getting desperate. The behaviour and acting out escalates because they have run out of buttons.

You'd think they'd at least try to hold on a tiny bit of self-respect by not doing awful things to their kids. Alas, no. They can't even manage that.

((Coraline)) whatever happens YOU ARE GOING TO BE A-OK.

He can do things to inconvenience you and make your children's lives harder than they need to be. But his opportunity to do so will run out one day.

At the end of the day he will be the sad lonely guy who no-one visits in the nursing home whilst you are enveloped in the warmth and love of your family until the end of your days.

Your kids and mine will be grown ups for far longer than they are children. He is continuing to make the biggest mistakes of his life and he is too dumb to realise it.

He will reap what he sows. You can count on that.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
welcome14
♀ Member
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you gone to his Commander? If they are decent people they will help you with this bs. The exhusband's supervisor called me to tell me how unhappy the xh was and couldn't I just let him come home? I told her exactly what he had done, and at the end of the call, she said she had to go. To go kick his ass. And that's a quote. Good luck, I know you will find a way to persevere.


Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.


Posts: 1158 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
Strongmama
♀ Member
Member # 33062
Default  Posted: 6:40 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a lowlife POS! You make sure that judge know just what an upstanding soldier he is...NOT! I'm so sorry he is doing this to you and your babies. My EX pos is military too, and let me tell you some of these creeps think they are above the law! Mine thinks he's Major God! They are pathetic broken people.
You sound very strong and you'll be amazed at just how strong you are. He does not deserve you or those precious children. What amazes me is that a man (term used loosely) could actually do this to their family and these idiot OW think they've got a real catch?! Losers!
Sending strength and prayer to you!

Posts: 662 | Registered: Aug 2011
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coraline I always read but seldom respond to your posts b/c I always have the same negative reaction ---WOW! WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!

today I just feel the need to post something.

WOW! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLY EPICLY DISTURBED FUCKING DOUCHBAG!

I am so sorry that you're dealing with this. Wish I could help you pack and find a new place.

Years ago my NPD freak -- my sons bio dad not my X. Did something similar with family student housing. All my friends were gone for the summer. I got that place moved and it was crazy hard but I got it done. You'll be OK. It does work out.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8404 | Registered: Apr 2008
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coraline, if you have to move out, can't you ask the military movers to come help? I'm sorry if that's a dumb question...I'm trying to remember how my military friends have done it, and they've always used the army movers.

Posts: 3285 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you dont have a way to take everything (arent you going back to the mainland at some point?) Can you leave it behind? You know, for him? Are you personally responsible for the housing, or is he? Cuz if it is ultimately his responsibility I would leave as much crap for him to clean out as possible, and to unencumber your NB.


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1086 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heartbroken nailed it.
Ultimately if you cannot finish packing and moving everything, just leave it.
Your WH is the military member so HE is ultimately responsible for the house- not you.

He wants you out? Fine. IF there's nothing you can do (I also suggest you speak to his commander), then pack the essentials and leave the rest for him to clean up.

Also, DO check into the movers. They will make things a lot simpler for you.


Me - 42
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
5 Furkids (3 Dogs, 2 Cats)

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

Note: I edit often for typos/clarity.


Posts: 6043 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First: Holy fucking douchebag! That is one cold, heartless mother-fucker.

And now -- yeah, just leave what you can't take or weren't planning on taking back to the mainland. The rest is his problem.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't understand how someone can be so cruel. Be strong, Coraline.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1665 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. it doesn't get much lower than that. FTG doesn't seem strong enough....


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2565 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 36
Pages: 1 · 2

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