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Newest Member: EverythingAfter (44970)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What a difference between an npd and a man
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SO and I had planned to head out of town this weekend, so it would just be the two of us, doing what we love to do, that is exploring the beautiful place we live in.

Well, xh antics - leaving me with the kids longer than anticipated and adding a 55 pound puppy to watch on top of that - put me behind with work and some of the home remodeling projects that I had planned.

So I was talking to SO last night and telling him that I need to get caught up and that I will be pulling some long hours this week. This is what I am used to from my marriage - if I wanted something done, I had to just do it because xh could not be bothered and in his passive-aggressive, NPD ways would try to boycott me unless the project was his idea.

After a while of SO just listening to me, he gave me a hug and a kiss and said: "Fraeuken, let's just not worry about our trip right now. I don't want to see you stressed and I know it is important for you to get these things done. Tell you what - I would be happy to help. Let's get your projects done this weekend, I enjoy spending time with you no matter what we do. Just promise me, you will accept my help because I know you have a hard time with that and do not worry about it. Lake Tahoe is not going anywhere, we can go there another weekend."

I just sat there letting his words sink in, thinking, this should be such a normal behavior in any relationship and yet, I realized that I hardly ever had this type of support in my marriage.

Happy and looking forward to a wonderful weekend.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
lostmommy
♀ Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW! What a sweetheart!!!

Does he have a single brother??


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2722 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I was seeing you Frau, I would say the same thing.

That is a no brainer!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1186 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

awwwwww.... so wonderful!!

I did however, read the thread topic as a question and thought there would be a "punchline."


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:42 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is great fraeuken. Adventure is awesome, but there is nothing more attractive than a man who likes to take care of the projects too.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After a while of SO just listening to me, he gave me a hug and a kiss and said: "Fraeuken, let's just not worry about our trip right now. I don't want to see you stressed and I know it is important for you to get these things done. Tell you what - I would be happy to help. Let's get your projects done this weekend, I enjoy spending time with you no matter what we do. Just promise me, you will accept my help because I know you have a hard time with that and do not worry about it. Lake Tahoe is not going anywhere, we can go there another weekend."

I wouldn't even know how to react. I would look around for the hidden cameras, certain I was being punk'd.

I'm happy for you.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9681 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:52 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aw. So nice.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Topic Posts: 10

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