I would recommend not getting in touch with her family. You have done nothing wrong. She has done it. She has caused it. You are a very valuable and worthy person, do not let her make you think otherwise. She is the broken one.
Hugs to you.
In my experience blame shifting because I just got done going through the forest of "blameshiftingham" is that the person is doing the blame shifting out of GUILT...
Did you ex express any kind of guilt?
My stbxh, (and yes to answer, we are getting a divorce, its problay been about three weeks since I knew for sure that it was over.)
Just piled on the blame on to me, oh my ghosh.. Everything was my falt but I was getting no answers from him, nothing made any sence.
Now it is coming out that he feels guilty but can't face it. Friends and family are starting to say it though.
So just keep in mind you are being blame shifted and gaslighted prob from a place of guilt that your ex can't deal with.
Is your whole story in another thread?
I think my whole story is somewhere out there , but ill give the super fast version. We met online about 13 years ago. Fell madly in love , I went to visit her, she was in Atlanta, I was in Connecticut , after falling in love long distance , one day I jumped in my car to visit her, from that moment on we lived together, got engaged about 6 years in , had a VERY long engagement. I had plenty of issues along the way ( which are now well in the past) some depression issues, job issues , and sadly drug issues ( not making excuses but I was sexually abused when I was a teen and sort of fell into drugs after that), so I was FAR from the ideal mate for her, and had many troubles along the way, I am not making excuses for her at all, but anyways , the last few years we grew apart , we began taking one another for granted , we stopped , well essentially stopped having sex, maybe 4 times in the last year, maybe 10-15 times total in last 2 years ( yes I should have known ) but in any case , She felt used and ignored the last while, and I guess I did as well. We just had a very toxic unhealthy relationship and in the end, the other man, an old friend of ours , ( sorry if u read this already) began talking to us both on Facebook, and knew we were having major problems and , played the hero role , and began flirting with her and telling her everything she wanted to hear, I am sure on facebook, and on the phone and whatever else. and I made the choice to give her space , I moved back to Connecticut 1000 miles away. 3 weeks later she tells me she is with him, and all the chaos ensues. I know anyone who reads this thinks , good for her , soveryalone is a waste of human life , drug addict , but I am completely clean and have been for months and the last year , I used maybe 6 times all year. I am someone who never got over their past , never healed , I am wounded and I tried my very best to love her the best I knew how for 12 years , , I was always honest , I never once even thought about being with another woman, I really did try my very best to be the man she would marry and make a family with . Now I am feeling better and better each day , I feel free and ready to heal fully from everything I have been through in life . ( sorry this wasn't exactly the super fast version )
I did read the horrible things she said to you, and there is no excuse ever for saying anything like that to some one.
However I am sure if she has a even if she has the smallest bit if human decency in her she must feel (and be seriously hiding from) the fact that what she has done was incredibly hurtful and selfish. What I meant about how people act when they pile cr@p loads of blame onto the betrayed is they are overcompensating
so they don't have to own their own actions.
I went through the blame shifting and for the life of me I could not make any sense of it, why would my stbx blame me when I was the one being betrayed?
The point I am getting at is to not take all the cr@p they say to heart, because its just one more instance of them only watching out for themselves.