She told my sister that I hurt HER feelings. Um...she is the one that insulted me and my daughter during the whole last visit.....and then when I defended myself later....she got mad and told me that she can live without the person I am now and if I find the "old me" to let her know.
She can go to hell.
But, it still hurts. I only have my sister and my dad left...and I feel like I'm hanging on to what little family I have left for dear life....
[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 11:17 AM, July 16th (Tuesday)]
ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12
She sounds so toxic.
I'm sorry Honey.
((((((shelly & Piper))))))
Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.
It's her loss not yours. As long as you keep the option of communication open and invite her to family do's then you've done all you can.
When Piper asks in the future you can be honest when you tell her you did all you could to keep her in your daughters life.
when I defended myself later....she got mad and told me that she can live without the person I am now and if I find the "old me" to let her know.
That is such a gross comment. How dare you grow a spine!
Your mamma is spiraling and lashing out because she is losing control of you. She wants you to feel bad and guilty and go back to being a proper doormat. Let her find somewhere else to scrape her shoes.
Piper is going to have a kick ass 1st birthday party surrounded by the people who love her the most.
Yes. She. Is.
I'm sorry Shelly, it sucks. But it's her loss.
[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 3:09 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)]
Your mom sounds a lot like mine, unfortunately.
Have you ever read the book, " Children of the Self Absorbed by Nina Brown? It helped me put somethings into perspective with my mother. I have learned to take very little that she says personally... but to always correct her misconceptions (lies) about my life, my kids, my grandkid.
You are an awesome mom, and a great person. learn from her example of what not to do to Piper. I did took that lesson... my relationship with my girls is very different than I had/have with my mother.... for that I am grateful.
When I complained to my IC, she said, "cmego, your mother is not and never will be emotional support for you. Stop treating her like she will be." Lightbulb!! Just like ex, I can't expect her to be someone she isn't...just because she is my Mom.
She is a good person, but we were not an emotionally connected family. Rug sweepers was more like it.
So, I stopped expecting her to be emotional support and although everything is much more superficial now, it is peaceful.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings