Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: SoCalBoy (43217)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Bittersweet Progress.....
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Wink  Posted: 8:38 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So...here I am. Back to square one again. But, that is the frustration of dating! I've always hated dating and remember how relieved I used to feel when I was married and my friends would talk about their nightmare dating experiences.

The odd part is....is that I feel like I have come a gazillion miles from where I was right after my divorce. I've always been an emotionally driven individual whose heart is my compass. That has always gotten me into trouble. But, as of late...I have found that when my emotions get carried away...I have this strong voice of reason in my head that brings me back down to Earth.....thus planting my independent feet firmly back on the ground where they belong!

Its nice to get excited about meeting new people and enjoying the initial "high" that you get from all of the attention you can receive from a potential SO .....but I digress. As much as I love those feelings.....I am more determined than ever to have the FULL package this time. Its gotta be more than puppies and rainbows. Puppies grow up and shit all over everything and rainbows ultimately disappear. Hence my history with men. Sure.....puppies are so sweet and lovable and cute starting out....and rainbows are magical and colorful and seemingly perfect for a moment.... but neither one lasts.

I need something real. I need something that I can depend on. Something long-lasting and more than just a "high" or a "smoke & mirrors" effect. I want love. REAL life-long forever love and companionship. And, if that means that I risk the chance of turning down every Joe Smuck that comes my way and Mr. "right-for-me" doesn't come along....and it ends up just me, my daughter....and about 15 fat happy housecats.....then so be it! I'm willing to hold out forever for the right one. So, I hope you guys brought your earplugs onto the bus....cause I might be breaking out the Duracell!

::Hops off soapbox, kicks off stilettos, jumps into running shoes, and runs off into my very own happy single sunset::

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:39 AM, July 16th (Tuesday)]


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2442 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
lonelylost
♀ Member
Member # 36784
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I think it is critical to take time to really separate the weeds from the wheat. I too hate the dating game. That beginning phase...on the one hand exciting and new...on the other hand filled with mind games. It's exhausting!

What has helped me, because I was in a long term marriage from my youth and not familiar with the games, is a book called: "Why Men Love Bitches", by Sherri Argov

And BTW, the "Bitch" part is not as bad as it sound. The author does not advocate being mean, nasty, etc. She effectively explains what's going on in a man's mind when women do or say a certain thing. It has helped me out a lot!


Divorced Jan 2013

"Don't look back, the road is long."
- Needtobreathe


Posts: 208 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: IL
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will definitely have to check that book out!!! Thanks for the tip!


"Life's curve balls come out of nowhere.... just remember to duck and weave!"

ME - BW - 34
HIM - XWH - 38
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2442 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nothing "bittersweet" about this IMO. Keep growing, Shelly. The silver lining to life handing us bad situations is that we find ourselves in a greenhouse ripe for growth. Take advantage of it!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13196 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: New Beginnings Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.