I am so sorry you get to join our club but at least it's the best club you never wanted to join.
He was supposed to have nc with her and I'm pretty sure I'm done
You don't have to make any decisions right now, but you gotta ACT like you're done. 180!! i know it is hard but it will get easier. Focus on you and your kids-if your WH can start to get his shit together than you can worry about him and M at that time.
As of now, he is not showing you that he wants to work things out at all. NC means NC and that is one of the FIRST steps to working things out. He is still in la-la land and in the A. OW knows about you and your family and doesn't care. As a BS I would love to think that is because she is a vile, slut- whore-skank (who should be kicked in the face while wearing those shoes painpaingoaway posted-lol), but the truth is he is probably lying to her too. Telling her how horrible you and your M are. Stringing her along so he can keep A going. While he is continuing contact with OW-there is nothing that can be done to work things out with him. He needs to EARN the chance to work things out with you. He has done NOTHING to show you that he wants to or is even capable of it. You don't deserve to be treated this way-your kids don't deserve to be treated this way. The best way to show him (and yourself) that is180 180 180 180 180 180 180
It will help clear your head give you some perspective about what you want and what you are capable of (more than you think!)
Keep posting/lurking here-you will find it a great source of strength and comfort. *hugs*