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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Totally brand new name change after D
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 1:51 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm considering a new name as well. I like my XWH's last name... this was not my first marriage but this has been the simplest, most likable surname I've had. The only problem is the obvious one- its HIS last name!!

I'm also not eager to go back to my maiden name. Its another one that was tease-worthy in school and involves a body part. *sigh* Also I haven't been that name since I was 18, so it doesn't even feel like "my" name anymore. I've thought about switching to another family name from my mother's side... there are a couple I like. But it just feels weird.

I'm self-employed so ANY change I make is going to be a complicated mess. I already went through that when I married XWH. Not thrilled to have to face it again.

Men have it so easy. They never have to worry about this crap, no matter how many marriages they fuck up. Grr.


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 821 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Elaine2012
♀ Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have decided that I want to change my name. I won't use my maiden which I don't like, I don't want to honor my estranged father in anyway.

I would have used my mother's maiden name except my brother used it for his name change. Due to childhood issues I don't want to be associated with him in any way.

So I'm using my grandmother's maiden name it's one I would have named a son if I'd had one.

My friend decided on her father's first name as her new last name.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My friend decided on her father's first name as her new last name.

!!! That's an option I never considered! My father's name would make great last name; maybe I'll do that.

Thanks for sharing!


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 821 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I chose a last name that *I* wanted. My father was a cheater and basically abandoned us. My husband was a cheater and turned into a cruel asshole. I didn't want to be attached to either.

I spent six months (as the divorce dragged on) writing down every last name that appealed to me. I wanted it to match my first, flow well, and be easy to spell. I polled my friends and family (much to their amusement). Finally I decided on a name.

Oh boy was my (then)STBX angry!! I still don't understand why he was so pissed off. We didn't have children. You would have thought he would be perfectly happy for me to drop his last name. He acted like it was a personal affront! That just made it all the sweeter


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3081 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Beautiful saga!!

Thanks for sharing, Snap.


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hadn't really thought about it. I kept my XWH#1's name for the children, but changed it shortly after the D and knew I would to my WH#2's name. I don't want any of the names I have had before and I like my name now. It is hard to pronouce and spell so it keeps telemarket people at bay. I just say they have the wrong number if they ask for me and don't say my name correctly. I am not lying when I say that person is not at this #. However I do not want it on my tombstone, so I will probably change it to an old family name on my Dad's side if I have it to do over again in the future.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Snap,

I'm with you, why do they get offended?? When I was setting aside things for XWH to pack up and take, I included a set of coasters with his last initial on them. He was all confused and asked me why I didn't want to keep the coasters, since I had picked them out. I said, "Because they have an H on them!" And then he was all hurt and offended, lol.

Duh. Really??


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 821 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
myperfectlife
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, July 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't decided on D yet, but am in the same spot if I do.
Maiden name-horrible, not going back.
1st married name? Ok name but he was a WS too...so no.
Current last name is noticeable and I feel like I would be starting fresh without it.
However I have 3 boys and live in a small town so everyone would still know me as "first name last name" regardless of whether I change it or not.
If I do D and do change it, it would be to my mother's maiden name or something close.
Never thought about the tombstone thing before, that's harsh...I still can't say I don't want to be buried next to him. Hadn't even occurred to me...wow.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
Violated
♀ Member
Member # 21239
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was thinking of changing mine to Clooney. Wishful thinking


Divorced 10/2013

Posts: 542 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: West Coast
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:56 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great ideas!!

My stbx and I legally changed our last name before our DD17 was born. He didn't want us to be associated with his fathers side. So our last name is his mothers maiden name.

As much as I respect and love her, I cannot be associated with stbx once we are divorced. She uses her married name (stbx's step-father) anyway.

I have been planning on going back to my maiden name but I like the idea of using a parents first name as a last name and the other ideas.


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2196 | Registered: Oct 2012
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe I'll change my name to Ms.Dreamy Clooney...sure would drive the Geaneology/Ancestry folks nuts someday!

Sorry I can't spell right...blame the pain pill from my biopsy, Arghh


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't want my maiden name back after my D. In my state you can change your name when you D, you just say in the papers what your new name is. I dropped my last name entirely and made my middle name my new last name. I had no problems with this, except at the DMV where some uppity bitch claimed it was illegal to have no middle name, even though I had my copy of the D papers with a damn judge's signature.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49476 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
CallMeRed1
♀ Member
Member # 36870
Default  Posted: 5:01 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wasn't going to change my name "because of the children". I have done everything "for the children" in the past year.

The one day I got some mail through the door and it said Mrs EXWH on the envelope. And I felt really

Next day it happened again...

So after a good amount of thinking time I changed my mind and I went back to my maiden name. I feel much happier with it now.


D-Day 19 July 2012
Me - BS - 42
Status: Divorced

Posts: 187 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: England
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I plan to have a brand new first middle & last name but I don't want to run into problems like DCK has had at the DMV nor have to carry around my D papers.
I was thinking about a flower or type of fabric for the middle and last names.
Easy to spell, feminine, and not too outlandish.
Back to my list...


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25429 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 34
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