What's been different in the last year? I've taken control of my life. I've taken things that caused strain in our M and dealt with them. I've fixed my snoring that caused us to sleep in different beds. I've been to the doctors and been put on ADs which has helped me deal with me trying to be in control. I've learned to like myself and realize I need others to survive. I've done more around the house then ever before. I'm focused solely on my family and my new DS. There are things I need to improve on though. I need to be more open with my BW. I also need to mature more emotionally. Though I feel I'm in a better place then I have ever been, I have a ton more work to do to help my BW be in a better place.
I've been to the doctors and been put on ADs which has helped me deal with me trying to be in control.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
"You can do it!" - R. Schneider
The ADs in my opinion have kept me from looking back at my past and dwell on the bad parts when I was that loser that craved that attention.
I've taken control of my life.
How? And AD's is not the answer. They can be a positive tool with some issues but they don't do this
kept me from looking back at my past and dwell on the bad parts when I was that loser that craved that attention.
Until you work hard at doing things differently you are your past only thing that is different is an attempt to comply.
I think its great you are posting more. Keep it up.
HL- ADs aren't the answer but they are a tool. One small tool in the large picture of repairing myself. I'm working hard at doing things differently. I do have quite a ways to go but am committed in making myself a better person for not only my BW and my children but also for me.
My BWs perseverance has made me the successful person I am today.
Maybe my lack of sleep is fogging my head but it seems that you're kind of bouncing between this "I'm in control of my life" and "My wife is my motivation". Which is it?
It's one thing to have a cheerleader in your corner. It's another thing for that cheerleader to be the driver too. The motivation has to come from within too. My husband is my cheerleader. However, I'm in the driver's seat in my healing. He's doing nothing but watching. If I stall out or revert back to old patterns, my cheerleader is bouncing out. (And rightly so)
Are you driving the HealingMobile Sam?
[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 10:44 AM, July 12th (Friday)]
You cannot heal her, nor can you control the ultimate outcome, but you can change, not deliver any more hurt and you can be worthy of her trust, worthy of her love. She will have to decide when to trust, whether and when to love but being worthy of those leads to a clear heart and mind and makes the other stuff easier. She will change in response to what and how you behave. It wonít happen overnight, and she will question your motives, she will be confused by the person she begins to see in front of her, asking herself and maybe you, is this real, is this permanent or is he conning me? She will challenge you, doubt you, for you have taught her to doubt. Prove it, show her, especially when she doubts. Your validation has to come not from her, her healing her mood, her words, but rather from within, from knowing you are doing the right thing and giving it everything you can.
After all, what do you have to lose?
[This message edited by Finally10 at 11:02 PM, July 12th (Friday)]
It wonít happen overnight, and she will question your motives, she will be confused by the person she begins to see in front of her, asking herself and maybe you, is this real, is this permanent or is he conning me? She will challenge you, doubt you, for you have taught her to doubt. Prove it, show her, especially when she doubts.
because Heart continually doubts the new person she sees in me. It's worth sticking to it, though, especially if it comes from within you and isn't reliant upon her for validation.