Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: leftfordust (44208)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: was supposed to be forever
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm feeling sad today. I was looking through facebook this morning, and saw some pictures of people who have been married for a long time, and are still happily married. That was supposed to be us.

I know I'm better off now, and I know this frees me up to eventually find someone who will give me the love I deserve.

I also know that The Princess is off in a sexual tailspin (i.e. spinning her tail around for all to see), and will never be happy, because she is a discontented whore.

But for years, I thought I had happiness. Even though I was wrong, I miss it. And today it hurts like hell.

That's all I have to report.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1665 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry brother.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2534 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((pass)))

Sometimes my brain has trouble explaining things to my heart.. I think it knows what's up, but it doesn't take away the sadness..

Hugs..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 6

Posts: 1990 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just posted something similar. I know how you feel-- I hope that I meet someone who is worthy of my love and commitment, but it still pains me when I see intact families together, knowing that I no longer have that.

(((pass)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((pass))))


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9649 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((pass)))

I totally get this. Most times I'm happy. I'm so much better off...and I actually believe those words now! But sometimes, when I see a couple with a good interaction, I wish I had that.

The good news?? Now I'm actually free to find a true, loving, healthy relationship. Because the reality was that I never had it with ex-shat.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4534 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((pass)))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4819 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pass, I agree with the others. The next time I get involved with someone, it will be my forever. At least if I do find someone, it will be someone that wants to be with me for ME, and not someone that uses me.

It's ok to be sad too. It takes quite a while to get to the point where looking back at what your life was and what you thought it was going to be and not be sad about it. I look back now, and know that my life never was what I thought it was. I'm smarter now. The next time it will be because it's what I want.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5360 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was supposed to be us.

That's what I signed up for and worked so hard for too, friend.

I thought I had happiness. Even though I was wrong, I miss it.

My WS POS father died when I was 17. Infidelity was the least of his issues. He was a hopeless addict (drugs, booze) and I hadn't seen him since I was 10 but for a few break ins to terrorise and hurt my mum and a few terrifying attempts at kidnapping my baby sister and me - again, just to terrorise my mum.

I hated him. I hated everything about him. I lived in fear of him showing up - he always seemed to find us. He hadn't found us for 4 years. It was the longest I had lived anywhere, the longest I had gone to the same school - previously we had moved every 3-6 months.

I was elated when my mum told me he had died. I was weightless. I was reborn free that day. I can still remember that euphoric feeling.

Being a 17 year old I insisted on going to his funeral to look at him to ensure it was him and not another trick. I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it.

What I didn't expect was to wail at his funeral. To sob uncontrollably. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was on my knees crying my heart out virtually the whole time.

It was very confusing - I felt great shame about this for a very long time.

Years later I read a line in a book that eased the shame. It was about a man who did the same thing at the funeral of his pure evil brother.

"I am not mourning the brother I did have, I am mourning the brother I did not have".

I knew at that moment that is what I felt at his funeral. I was mourning the father I did not have.

I know I am now mourning the husband and marriage I did not have.

Its OK to feel sad. I am glad to still be a feeling being after all of this shit. I don't ever want to go numb again.

((pass)) Breathe through this dip my friend. It will pass.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5392 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fuck! Had to phone her to talk about kid and money stuff tonight, but failed to keep her on topic.

She said that the kids had told her what I had told them about how I've been much happier lately than in my whole life (due to anti-depressants and lifestyle changes; I made sure they didn't think it was because of me leaving her). She told me that she knows me, and knows that I'm probably feeling guilty about feeling good (true, I am), but I shouldn't feel guilty.

Then she said that it not only makes my life better, but also improves life for the boys, for her, and for anyone else who loves me - so I should feel relief that my happiness is making other people happy too.

I've been totally embracing the anger stage (and enjoying it a little), but it just goes to show that even she has a little good in her. That sucks. Makes it harder to hate her like I should.

Sitting here sobbing at my computer.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1665 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Big hugs to you tonight:

((((((pass))))))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3537 | Registered: Oct 2011
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, July 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, pass. I truly understand.

I've been married to my STBXWH for 27 years. It's unlikely that I have enough time left to be with someone who won't hurt me longer than 27 years as I am 50 years old. It makes me very sad that my longest relationship is ending in such an epic failure. I always thought we would be that old couple who held hands. Until a few years ago I thought we were happy. Apparently he has been unhappy for a very long time.

Of course they have a little good in them. Most likely there's more than a little. We wouldn't have loved them so much if there wasn't. It's too bad that there isn't more good in them. Too bad there wasn't enough good for them to stop themselves from ruining so very much.

Stay strong. Let yourself cry if you need to. It can be a big relief of pent up emotion.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:28 AM, July 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. Yep yep yep. I'm sorry, man.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9234 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 13

Return to Forum: Divorce/Separation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.