I am having the worst trigger tonight.
We just went to bed and h wanted me to just rub his shoulders, touch him.
Flashes of her touching him. How can I see this??? I wasn't there.
I just started crying, want to push him away. He just said it's ok, it will go away.
I wanted to scream, no it's not going to go away, this is my life now. This I carry forever.
I hate this, it hurts too much. How could he hurt me like this?
I always told him, if I had to go through all of the pain of my life to get to you then it was worth it.
Now I have nothing left, he has caused the worst pain I have ever felt.
Now I am wide awake with another day of work ahead tomorrow. This is just so exhausting. I am tired of it all, I want it to just go away.