I think your schedule would work fine, with one exception. The Wednesday overnight, in my case, would be disruptive. The kids get into a groove during the week. I would hate to have them ping ponging back and forth during the week. It would,really disrupt the flow everyone's week, it seems to me. Instead of doing overnights on Wed., I would suggest offering that he can take them to dinner on Wednesdays.
(Note: my kids are 4 and 6. Although our parenting agreement says that my xWW can have them Fri after school to drop-off at school on Monday, we don't actually do that. Se brings them back on Sunday afternoon at 5:00 pm. That worked better for everyone.)
[This message edited by chikastuff at 9:27 AM, July 10th (Wednesday)]
I think your schedule would work fine, with one exception. The Wednesday overnight, in my case, would be disruptive.
STBXH tried to have DD with him overnight during school days, but it didn't sit well with me and is disruptive to her. It doesn't work with his lack of respect for boundaries like bed time, either, or his fly-by-night lack of planning and routine. So he visits her one night a week, which he's changed many times and gets grief from her, so I don' say anything.
I was petrified of not seeing her for that length of time, but find I am getting used to it. I make up little errands to do or go shopping for someone's present early. I make whatever I want for meals and take it easy on chores. I chat on the phone longer and have looked up old friends and have gone back to some very old hobbies.
I found a place to volunteer, also and am looking for some online things like pen pal programs, for I love writing and mail.
Also, a plus is that it gets him out of here for longer spells than every week visits did and I can create more consistency for DD in that time than just a few days and then it's all broken.
He doesn't keep the routines for her with time, either, so she has enough time to catch up on sleep, hygiene and behavior patterns also.
FWIW, they have a nightly phone call that helps put her at ease. Part of her difficulty was that he went into hiding when he first abandoned us, so she can think he is "ok" physically and know when she last heard from him.
As his life goes longer without responsibility, his lack of caring about detail and rules is showing, and this is what I think when she's gone and that I miss her. She also sees through him a little with this length of time. He is glittery now, always buying treats and taking her to events, but always being fun or "on" gets tiring.
The main reason it was hard for me was because he bullied to change it and his reasons were terribly selfish, and largely, because it was more change. Then he changed it again.
So I work to be very quiet about my reactions now to what he does and log things to show my lawyer. He is not timely-that's a boundary!-so I log this, too.
I wish you well.
P.S. At least in this case, L said that it won't bother the CS payments, for I worried about that, too.
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge
My papers say EOW Fri after work until Sunday night, plus 2 overnights during the week. Reality 4 years down the road?
The kids hated the overnights on school nights, and haven't done them since the first year, and even then they didn't last the whole school year. (Him moving over an hour away to be with GF helped stop those...but even when he moved back, they said no)
So now, he's suppose to have dinner with them twice a week, but the kids cancel on him at least once a week each. It may or may not be on the same night.
The EOW? The kids bow out on that half the time too. He doesn't have rooms for them, and they do nothing, so they hate going.
He likes to think it's just because they are teens, but it's not. It's not even that they don't care about him, or want to see him, they just hate to have their lives disrupted. So, they cancel, and stay here. Heck even with me working 7 days a week, they still prefer to stay here even if I'm going to be at work every day.
The bottom line is, I agree with others, the overnights during the school days definitely didn't work. It's too hard when they need to study/do projects that require a lot of materials, etc.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.