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Divorce/Separation :
How did you handle the breakup of WS and AP?

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 Chabeli (original poster member #25838) posted at 5:15 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

It's finally happened after so many years of their nasty fights, I really don't know much details but he said something like, "You know such and such and I are not together and she's got to pick up the rest of her things from the apartment." I'm just numb to the whole situation anyway, I don't feel any kind of emotion. I've been through alot in the past 6 years or so. I've just keeping going on with my life.

How did you guys handle it? Did you gloat, did you party...

...Or did you say, " I told you so!!"

posts: 477   ·   registered: Oct. 14th, 2009   ·   location: New York
id 6402014
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 5:29 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I felt pretty good.. Till they got back together a week later. Apparently him cheating on her wasn't a dealbreaker. I'm sure that 1 week made him learn his lesson

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6402036
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gypsybird87 ( member #39193) posted at 5:38 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I'll let you know when it happens.

*taps toe impatiently*

Where IS that stinking Karma bus??!!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords

posts: 1857   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6402055
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:39 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I think I said, "Ok." And when I hung up the phone, I went back to washing dishes.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6402056
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 5:40 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

Last I heard, my XH and his OW/gf are still together, but if he ever did feel the need to tell me they'd broken up, all he'd get was crickets.

He's such a nonentity in my life.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6402058
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 5:43 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

How did you handle the breakup of WS and AP?

Which one?

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

posts: 21424   ·   registered: Dec. 21st, 2007   ·   location: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
id 6402061
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roughroadahead ( member #36060) posted at 6:49 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

At this point, I would throw a party. I don't care what he does after this, but I want that woman gone.

He would inevitably come crawling back, so I hope I would have the strength to kick him in the face.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

posts: 751   ·   registered: Jul. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6402154
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 6:59 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I'm with Ama; he's pretty much a nonentity in my life. I have a feeling they broke up for a while but may be back together? Honestly, I don't care.

My only 'concern' would be if they ever marry; I really don't want to deal with them as co-grandparents to MY grandchild/ren

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6402165
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Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 7:10 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I could care less if they are together since I stepped off the crazy train, but we don't have kids, so he is cleanly out of my life. Back around the time of D she was still with her BH and he told me she had just used him. I laughed. For a few months after he would send fishing emails with cryptic updates. I guess he figured out I could give two shits because he finally quit.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

posts: 3640   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2011   ·   location: The Valley of the Sun
id 6402178
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Mandilwen ( member #27186) posted at 7:18 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

Relieved! I kept getting calls from the sitter and neighbors making sure I had the kids cause she was punching my ex on the front lawn.

There was a time that he had to bring my kids back to me, along with the OC, because of the wifetress craziness. I know she has been diagnosed BPD and has previous manipulation attempts at suicide.

They are technically still married, but she's been overseas for two years now. I found out from my former mil, that they got into a physical fight and he told her he should have stayed with his first, true family...Glad all that drama is over, but only cared about it because of my kids.

BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

posts: 318   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Indy
id 6402190
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IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 8:10 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

It hasn't happened yet though if they do I would feel relieved for my kids and I suspect xWH would be relieved also.

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6402259
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Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 10:45 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I was pissed because they blew up my life and DD's life for no good reason. Their stupid fantasy tru lurv could not stand up to the cold face of reality.

But then I was like "eh, who cares. Not my problem anymore"

Now they are back together. X is unemployed and has been ill and he is sponging off OW and the national health system in the UK. Again, not my problem.

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

posts: 17695   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2006   ·   location: A better place :)
id 6402489
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 11:51 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2013

I will feel 'here we go again'. He would be imposing the next iteration of "the one" on my girls within a month or two.

I'm kind of hoping this one wastes her 20s/30s on him - that he wastes his 40s/50s on her. Better the devil you know - as they say.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 5:52 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6402562
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 1:24 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

ex and wifetress just got married earlier this year, so I doubt a breakup will be happening any time soon, if at all. If it ever happens, then oh hell yeah, I'll gloat. To myself. And to my sister and friends. And probably laugh about it with my kids.

I really don't want to deal with them as co-grandparents to MY grandchild/ren

although this is probably quite a way in the future for me, yeah, that's the issue I've got now that ex married OW. I've already made it clear to my kids that I will be the good (aka cool) grandma, when the time comes.

[This message edited by inconnu at 7:26 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6402648
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kernel ( member #27035) posted at 2:23 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

I'm still waiting for it to happen. If/when it does, I will privately do a happy dance, but it won't affect my life in any way. I think my kids would be so relieved.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6402705
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 2:30 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

I had several reactions:

First, which AP? XWH was a man whore, so there were a number of them.

Second, I reacted with an eyeroll and a "here we go again". Before I remarried, I didn't need to be told when XWH was short on female attention, because when there was an open position, he'd start texting and IMing me with attempts down memory lane. WTFever.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 8:48 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6402715
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AussieMum ( member #36579) posted at 2:39 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

I'd be gloating but crickets to him. Although I imagine I'd probably put something sarcastic on FB Sometimes I just can't help myself....

But I would also be worried about my kids. He introduced them to OW3 as soon as he moved out and they quite like her (as much as it pains me to write that - it could be a lot worse if she was a bitch to them). They are now all living at her house. If STBXH and OW3 split, then it's yet another wrench for my poor kids.

Me 47
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS13 & DD8)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

posts: 185   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6402727
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Decimated ( member #31656) posted at 2:43 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

XWW told me that OM dumped her after his divorce was final. Ours was final one month later. I don't even know if I believe her...so many lies about him.

It really doesn't matter. She still has no interest in fixing all of the damage she caused. It does piss me off to think all of the pain she put me through was all for nothing

Me -BH 47, now 56
Her-XWW 39, now, who cares
D Day #1 9/09 found out about texting
D day #2 1/11 found out EA on going
D day #3 4/11 found out EA was a PA
Divorced 1/13

posts: 239   ·   registered: Mar. 28th, 2011
id 6402734
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 9:10 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

I doubt he would tell me. My kids would, and I would be happy for them. I think they would be happy the gatekeeper to their father would be gone.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6402958
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Vulcanized ( member #33523) posted at 9:33 AM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

I believe that I have no fucks which I could give.

But, my feet are swollen & I can't get these bitch boots off ....

Me: fBW/MH 40s
3.26.13: Liberation day: D'd the whiny turd after being saddled with a serial cheating, NPD, jitbag 10 years too long

Now:-----> Everything is as it should be

posts: 940   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2011   ·   location: The Hostile City
id 6402959
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