Not to mention neither one of us can afford to buy out the other...we'll have to sell it all.
Depending on what kind of assets you own, you may not necessarily have to sell anything. We didn't.
Retirement funds, brokerage accounts, bank accounts can all be divvied up according to any kind of ratio you agree upon. One person may be 68%, the other 32%, depending on the earning power and work history of the two spouses.
Securities can be journaled from one account to another without being sold. However, there are issues of basis and tax liability to be considered.
You should consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.
The following article contains valuable information about how assets get divided in divorce:
Like Scarlet O'Hara, I'll think about it tomorrow.
The more information you have, the better. One important thing to do immediately would be to assemble a complete set of financial documents for your own future use: tax returns, brokerage statements, balance sheets, 401k documents, stock options or grants. Make copies of everything and keep your files somewhere safe (in a family member's home, for example).
Good luck. I felt somewhat as you do, but I did what I had to do. I didn't want to end up sleeping in a doorway downtown on a piece of cardboard, begging for spare change during the day.
I see women about my age who are pushing all their possessions around in a shopping cart. Fear is a great motivating factor.