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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anyone Go Out By Themselves?
♀ Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Must, I do bootcamp as well and we have become close knit. I have been thinking of suggesting to meet for a drink one night. We probably wouldn't recognize each other in street clothes and makeup!!
Just a thought.....

[This message edited by soveryweary at 6:01 PM, July 8th (Monday)]

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 627 | Registered: May 2011
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I study on the weekends at Sbux. It is generally fairly quiet and I get a little people watching in. Mostly I shop alone, farmers markets, target, house things. I can't eat alone yet...and working up to movies alone :)

I have a core set of girlfriends and I'm usually hanging with one of them when I don't have the kids (which isn't often...)

me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings

Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am an only child, so I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. I rather enjoy it... I have no problems doing things alone - movies, going out to eat, going to concerts... I do all of those frequently.

Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2260 | Registered: Feb 2010
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I grew up being used to doing things by myself, since that often made it easier to actually get out. I would love to spend more time with friends but have very few in the area, so I'm on my own a lot whether I want to be or not.

I love going to movies - as someone above said, no one cares; it's dark

I used to eat out alone but am trying to be more budget conscious and find myself thinking I could sit home and eat alone for a lot cheaper, so I don't eat out much anymore.

Rarely go out to bars - spent too much time following XWH around to all his bar-band gigs, being the doting band wife

What I'd love (and am still trying) to find is a group that's into my current hobby of soapmaking. The thing is, I'm new enough to it that I have no interest/ability in teaching, but I'd love to get together with like-minded crafting people. I just can't seem to find any. My one pretty good local friend keeps urging me to start a soapmaking meetup group, but I suspect that would generally mean I'm expected to teach others who might be interested... Again, not really at the teacher level.

Anyway, if you can at least give going out alone a try to various venues, you will probably find you enjoy it. If you don't, then you never need do that particular thing again.

Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1874 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Must,

I've been working to expand my social circle (never easy!) but I do enjoy doing things alone too. I think the key is choosing the right venue/event for yourself. Such as...

I don't mind eating out alone in a casual atmosphere like Applebees or Starbucks. Sometimes I take a book or magazine so I'm not just staring out the window while waiting for my food to arrive. I would NOT feel comfortable alone at an upscale, "romantic" restaurant.

I LOVE going to movies alone, but I'm careful to pick the right movie. I don't want to see anything romantic, not alone... not with a friend either actually. Just not there yet in my process.

I would not feel comfortable at a trendy bar/dance venue simple because the crowd is so much younger than me. I DO feel okay going to the local country bar. The crowd is a wide age mix and at age 44 I usually feel right in the middle age-wise. Also they do lessons, which is a great way to get in the groove and meet people who you can chat with and dance with later in the evening after the lesson is over. Of course this will only work if you have something similar nearby and like country music... but it might be worth looking into.

Try your local community center. I took a 5 week series of salsa lessons. I learned the basics AND made some friends, and we have gone out to the salsa clubs a couple of times. This is something I wouldn't have been brave enough to do without knowing someone to go with.

Putting yourself out there can be sooo hard. But its worth it!! Go for it!

Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin

Posts: 915 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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