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User Topic: Am I just being too sensitive?
♂ Member
Member # 34875
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I typically have the opinion that whenever someone asks "am I being too sensitive "? , the answer is usually "yes". This is not one of those times....he was being a complete jerk !

married 21 yr

Posts: 175 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry sucks that he thought your birthday was the expendable event....and that sending flowers to the nurse was the be all end all.

That is shitty. That is a crappy boundary.

I'm also sorry if my post about what the nurse may or may not be able to even accept upset you. That was not my intention.


Posts: 3414 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
♀ Member
Member # 24924
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wannarun, to think of all you went through and have done with no appreciation -- it angers me to think about it. That he could show no appreciation for you and yet give so much time and thought to a stranger says a lot about his character.

It also sounds like he deliberately angered you when he asked your opinion until you gave it. His motive? To send her flowers himself without your name attached. (Even though he's trying to make it look like he wanted you involved). Yes, I would certainly make myself known to the staff at the hospital.

but I get the impression he is using his father's illness to set up another A

I'm sorry, but I agree with the above.

If your WH often finds ways to show appreciation to the opposite sex or finds ways of helping a woman when she's down or just wants to "make her smile," he is a KISA. I was married to one for 14 years. They say they just want to make others happy. "I'm a giver" is their motto. When I wanted to be his partner in that, however, he voiced loud objections! Red, red flag! I knew then. The truth is, their motive is a potential affair. I was blind to this for a long time because my ex would also help men. Little did I know that while he was helping a man, he had his eye on that man's wife!

On the other hand, it could merely be that he needs to learn boundaries. Have the two of you read "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass? It helps tremendously to get such men to understand boundaries, what they are, why they're so very important, and how to maintain them. The book is only 10 bucks at Books a Million. Or get it from the local library and make copies of the most important pages. It's so worth reading!

Hugs to you, and Happy Birthday.

PS - I would refuse to do anything more until he shows a mountain of appreciation and recognizes what a jerk he has been. Otherwise, you'll never get any respect from him.

Me-50 BW

Walk a Mile In My Shoes
Married 14 yrs. Now Separated & in NC
2 grown DD's - his from previous M
4 grown kids (2DS, 2DD) mine from previous M

Posts: 3020 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Ohio
♂ Member
Member # 30291
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is being selfish beyond belief. I doubt the nurse is waiting with baited breath for anything - give her fucking flowers next week. Your birthday was an opportunity for him to put a deposit in the love bank - a 10 minute phone call to a florist is all it would take.

Well, happy belated birthday.


DD 11/28/10
Me (BH)
Her (WS)
Separated and filed (7/13)

Posts: 413 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ Member
Member # 36871
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It ain't easy - your comment didn't upset me........this whole situation is just f'd up!! It's not the fact that he wanted to do something to thank her for her persistence in getting his dad taken care of really it's not!! And I truly wasn't expecting any big tadoo on my bday!! But, the contrast of well there's no time for your bday then in the next breath I really would like to send this great nurse some flowers.....just hurt tremendously!! Then the insult if his anger when (against my better judgement and after much badgering from him) i told him what was bothering me is maddening!! I'm so tired of being put on the back's always been this way! I should be used to it and I am but it still hurts....sigh

Me/BS - 41 him/WS - 42 2-boys 11&4
DD- Aug 2011 plus several in the months that followed ~ He said "I just needed someone to talk to" I asked if "Oprah was hiding in her panties" he wasn't amused!

Posts: 142 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, July 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seems I'm a selfish bitch for being hurt by this situation!!
no you are NOT!

HE is a fucking asshole.

I am so sorry.

me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1:
Episode 2:

Posts: 7092 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Topic Posts: 26
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