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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He said this... and it turned me on
♂ Member
Member # 38509
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he says: “Want_To_Forgive, I think you need someone who is tender with you, but also firm and strong.”

Sorry to be the voice of dissent on this, but this sounds like a player's pick up line.

Not that the sentiment of it isn't appealing. But for him to feel the need to declare it? I don't know, just odd to me thats all.

[This message edited by nofool4u at 4:07 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

Me - fBS

Posts: 210 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sad and inconnu, you picked up on the part that has me second guessing myself. I am woman hear me roar.

Like I said, it could just be the choice of the word firm that bugs me. I do know I need, and have, a man who can hold his own against me and isn't afraid to voice his opinion when it doesn't agree with mine. But he's equally as good at listening, and respecting, my thoughts and opinions even if he doesn't agree with me.

The word firm reminds me of Ricky and Lucy, of I Love Lucy fame. He had to be firm with her because otherwise she didn't live up to his expectations of how a wife should behave. Yeah, I know it was a tv show, and yeah, I know it was from a gazillion years ago and times and expectations have changed since then. But still, that's the picture I get in my head when I hear the word - the husband who has to control the wife, for her own good.

Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect

Posts: 12166 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with Sad and inconnu... it would make me feel like someone feels like they have to keep me in line or something. No thanks.

Unless we're talking that wimmenz locker room talk, that is. Then yeah, leave it in.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 6:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heck, I didn't even get to the "firm" part before I felt squirmy. The "need" and "you need" gave me icky feelings. I don't like that "you need" line. Unless, of course, that's what you were talking about and said it to him first or asked what he thought you needed but I would't do that. Then again, I am not dating and that's probably a good thing. It's all a big to me.

Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7482 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
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Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh I love it. That's right up my alley - and what I want... NEED

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19732 | Registered: Aug 2006
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Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It reminded me of Rhett butler saying " you need to be kissed often, by a man that knows how."

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
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Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can appreciate the intended sentiment, but seriously, no way in Hell am I going to allow anyone to tell me what I need - man or woman, tender or tough, firm or flaccid , strong or weak.


Me ($39.95 plus S & H)
DS1(17), DS2(15)

Enjoying this chapter in my life.
Learning that being alone does not mean being lonely.
Discovering that where I've been is not as important as where I'm going.

Posts: 355 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here, Canada
♀ Member
Member # 20470
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WM: "you need to be kissed often, by a man who knows how."

Yes, please!

I am hopeless. LOL

M 11 years
Me: BS 38 Him: WS
DDay June 2006, LTA BFFOW
Divorced April 5, 2013
Not making a decision is making a decision.

Posts: 534 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Alaska
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, July 4th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would also be irritated by anyone, especially a date/boyfriend telling me what I need. Regardless of how often I told waffle, pre-S, that he needed to get his head out of his ass. I also don't like firm... I agree it sounds paternal. Almost in a "don't worry your pretty little head" way.

I don't want to be a downer, but I'm not a big fan of "waiting for someone like you". That sounds pedestal-y.

Again, sorry to be a downer. It may have come across differently depending on the context.

BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
♂ Member
Member # 34195
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, July 5th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW!!!! I gotta tell you ladies that this thread was a very interesting read for a guy. The more I think I know women.... the more I realize I really don't know sh*t.

Anyway thanks for the info cause the more I get of that... the less likely I'll hook up with another "weed pulling stalker" next time.

Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Posts: 905 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Midwest
♂ Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, July 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As a guy, I simply cannot fathom making this comment to a member of the opposite sex. How condescending.

BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9188 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Topic Posts: 31
Pages: 1 · 2

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