Topic: Feeling.... tired! Humbled! Over it!
Member # 26326
| Posted: 2:17 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Wonderful post and one I will keep.Four years out for me and I still feel exactly like you.Sadly I have also the fact that my WH is a priest. So I am still dealing with a massive fall out from that...
Him.WS 55 and a priest!
MARRIED 25 YEARS ON 25/08/09
BEEN TOGETHER 28 YEARS
TWO CHILDREN 20 and 22.
Posts: 150 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
Member # 33457
| Posted: 9:03 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Awesome post ItsaClimb. It's good to purge and drop some of the weight hanging around your neck.
ICR (sorry, for the acronym. Look 3 forum categories down for the description). You sound like you are Nailing It to me. We all get tired.
Posts: 1411 | Registered: Sep 2011
♀ New Member
Member # 39602
| Posted: 9:22 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
This post was amazing and it articulates everything I'm feeling right now, even though technically I haven't taken a third of the journey some of you have. Thank you so much for sharing and I'll come to a pity party with you any day. lol.
The day I can look back and call this history will be a day much happier than my wedding was, let me tell you that much.
I am humbled by the fact that a small part of me still feels that I wasn’t good enough for my husband. I feel like I failed at being a wife. (And I KNOW it had nothing to do with me..yadda, yadda, yadda… but still….)
Can relate to this so much because it eats at me every single day. You already know this isn't the case, so *hugs*
Just remember that whatever your feelings, they are valid and you are entitled to them. People struggle with betrayal in this way for years afterward, so there's no rush to "get over it." You're healing. It hurts like a bitch, and there will be times where you just want to get away from it all. Do that if you need to and remember that we are here for you!
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ New Member
Member # 39695
| Posted: 9:30 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
I am with you on all of this.... I like Frankiebaby am not even a third of the way there. I just get tired. I'm tired of all of it. It's like you have a black cloud following you around, not sure when it's going to rain but you always bring an umbrella just in case.
Exhausting. It's too much for someone to handle. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. I hope we get some energy soon :)
Me: BS 27
Him: WH 27
Together since 10/2006
Lacing up my nikes and running west!
Posts: 36 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 37184
| Posted: 9:43 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Awesome post Itsaclimb!! Thank you so much for validating everyone here!! I so understand and appreciate you putting it out there!!
Posts: 322 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: new york
♀ New Member
Member # 39602
| Posted: 9:48 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
It's like you have a black cloud following you around, not sure when it's going to rain but you always bring an umbrella just in case.
YES!!! I don't even want to work on anything or confront anything. I just want to leave and not deal with this at all.
Do something just for YOU this weekend and sending good vibes your way! <3
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 33128
| Posted: 9:53 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Wow, I am so with this post. It explains what I feel also.
I could not even tell you how far out I am.. To be honest...DDay was Aug 2009 but the A continued in until June 2012 in my face... So I am gonna go with July.. I am 12 months out.
I remember sitting on my floor looking at my closet shelf of ALL the books that you named and more... I remember thinking "Fuck this, I want my life back".. I packed up every book I had and took them to the 1/2 book store..I thought it was going to help me feel normal again... Then I came home and burned all my journals.. I didn't want to keep reading what I had wrote over and over and over again...I never wrote again...Then I moved out in Aug 2012...
The thing is now I can not remember if I was really happy pre A. But, I know I was horribly miserable for those years. And oh my Lord the FIGHTING EVERYDAY over his texting, going out, leaving us to see his glitter fucken slut!!!
Tired is an easy word for this pile of shit we were brought. Exhausted is a easy word... I can not believe how it SUCKS the life out of you. And I never knew I had so many tears that could be a NEW GREAT LAKE.
All I know honey, is we are with you. This crap was not suppose to be our lives. And it is so confusing.
But, I know for myself, I will learn to be full of JOY again. This will NOT defeat me. I love who I am even tho hurt, sad, fustrated and want my old life back because it was safe or so I thought. I was content. I loved being a wife and so Proud to have a intact family. Well, he blew that to shit, now I get to be a single mom, and see if I even was to try to R. I don't know if I want to gamble again on trusting him and putting my heart 100% back in. And that is no marriage.
[This message edited by Faithful w/Love at 9:57 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Still separated and False R.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!
Posts: 2259 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 37107
| Posted: 11:16 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
Thanks so much to everyone who responded to my post! It was one of those "middle of the night posts" when I felt like I was the only person in the whole world who couldn't sleep because I was sad that my husband cheated on me.... ever had that feeling? Sure you have, 'cause we're all in the same boat aren't we?! (And heaven knows, it's no darn cruise ship!!)
Just "laying it out there" in my post last night made me feel that much better, and reading your genuine, kind responses made me feel even better, with the result that today has been a brighter day.
So thank you. And thanks SI. I've said it before and I'll no doubt say it again... .I could not have survived the past 10 months without SI!
Sending big hugs and pretty cocktails to all those who are feeling as down as I was last night. It sucks... I feel your pain.... Wishing you a brighter day tomorrow xx
[This message edited by ItsaClimb at 11:18 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]
BS (me) 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a babe on the way!) & 18yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later Trying to R
Posts: 705 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 28156
| Posted: 2:14 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday), 2013|
I was sitting here reading saying "yes, Yes" I am not crazy. Its amazing we all feel so alike. In my case your story has really helped me. I thought it was just me, because my H still will not confess, yet I have way too much info, just cant prove it. I have known for 5 years, inside , I believe it happened. ANd I live every symptom, as if he did. I was thinking I had these feelings because I had no answers..... At five years, I do have good weeks. Never with the feeling of inlove. Just happy days. Then, it can go down hill fast. ANd I feel this way again. It suprised me that others, who have answers, still feel like me. I have to wonder in my situation, does it ever get better? This doesnt feel great.
a trigger yesterday
Posts: 810 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Member # 38924
| Posted: 1:07 PM, August 1st (Thursday), 2013|
lol. Infidelity toddler.
That makes me a baby, still. A big baby. 8 months out from Dday#1 and 3 months out from last dday.
Me-BW 35. STBXH-35,active alcoholic, suspected NPD SA. 2 little boys. M 6yrs T13.
Year+ false R & TT from Dday1 Nov 2012 IEA - Feb 2014 count at 10 OW PA's 1LTA (all W lied to) for 3 years that I know of.
S, gonna D.
Posts: 796 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
Member # 40568
| Posted: 11:46 AM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
Bumping this beauty! It was linked on a current thread and is a keeper for sure, so thanks ItsaClimb
from all of us feeling.... tired! Humbled! Over it! You nailed this one!
Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9
Posts: 175 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 36654
| Posted: 1:05 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
I think even though all of us have different sitchs and different things going on in our lives, this pretty much spells it out for the life of a BS. You never really get over being betrayed by the person you loved. You try and get through it, but there is really no way to ever completely get over it. It gets so tiresome trying to juggle the crap of infidelity with what all else we have to face in everyday life. I am a little over a year out from DDay#2 and I know I still feel the same. I still have days I really stuggle with what he did and try my best not to cause arguements that will go nowhere in the end. He doesn't get it and never will and therefore it is impossible to move forward at this point. I also find myself up posting late in the night and think why am I up at 2:00 in the morning reading and posting on an infedlity website while he is snoring in the room next door. The facts are it isn't fair what we have to go through to heal ourselves and try to make some sense out of nonsense.
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.
Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 40487
| Posted: 1:17 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
I love this post, it is totally the way I have been feeling.
I can't even bring myself to read all the books. What's the point?
Everyone tells me how strong I am and how well I am handling this, and I don't feel like it at all. It might look like that, I have three kids so its not like I can totally fall apart except when they are at school or in the middle of the night.
Have you heard the song Little Umbrellas? Its about flying to the islands and forgetting heartbreak over drinks with little umbrellas and cabana boys... I wish I could do that right now.
Me: BS (39)
Him: WH (40)
Married 16 years
Three Beautiful Children 11,8,5
Posts: 103 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 39911
| Posted: 1:32 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
You are so good at expressing yourself! Add me to the group of people you are speaking to. Tired, sad, wishing my life had not taken this road. (Actually wish damn fWH hadn't taken this road.)
Thank you for putting your feelings into words!
Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 55
Married 33 yrs
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
Posts: 141 | Registered: Jul 2013
|Getting to Happy|
Member # 35200
| Posted: 3:19 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
Thanks for this post. BTDT!
I'm 2.5 years out. Some days are better than others. I have to push the betrayal thoughts out of my head Every. Day.
I think that I am pathetic because I just can't shake the thought that Mr . Happy took another lover. 2.5 years later!
I get the sadness and confusion this causes.
But you know what really gets me...it is the compartmentalization that I have to embrace in order to get through the day. Which is exactly what Mr. Happy did to pull off having me waiting for him at home while he was falling into the Ho-worker's bed.
Grrrrr...time to compartmentalize...GAH!
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Posts: 1090 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Member # 40229
| Posted: 3:43 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
I was so there with you a few weeks back.
Now, maybe I'm in denial or compartmentlizing, but I'm getting to ... Meh, F..k him. He walked out, made a love nest for Shrek, and moved her to our state.
Eh, whatever....today anyway.
Here's one, should I send him a thank you card because the bastard did me a favor????
Awesome post, hit us up with some more when you feel it.
I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
Posts: 1642 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Member # 40769
| Posted: 4:37 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
I am laughin and crying all at the same time. Nothing new these days you expressed yourself beautifully and with wit and style. Applause sounds!!
I feel exactly the same. Except I'm only two months in so... I guess I'm feeling exactly more depressed.
Hugs to everyone. Not one of us asked for this. Is it this hard for them? I doubt it. And at the moment... I really don't give a shit.
Keep on keepin on people.
Loving all of you right now.
Everyday is a new day, some good, some bad.
Me- BS 39
14 years- 2 middle school children
NC broken from August 6- 24, 2013
Avalanche of Truth on November 14, 2013
Length of A: June 10th to Dday- with broken NC
Posts: 470 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: East Coast
Member # 40055
| Posted: 4:54 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
It feels good to actually congratulate someone and to shout hooray!!! I'm less than a year into this whole mess and could relate to ALMOST every word you wrote. The details in our individual situations--for all of us here at SI--are different, but the feelings we deal with . . . Those are eerily similar. Thanks for voicing my thoughts so well. As I read each line, I thought, "Me. Me. Me. Me." Very few not me's in that list.
We ALL sound better when we're trying to get our acts together, gather our thoughts, and communicate them to someone who's asking a sincere question. That doesn't mean we aren't humbled by that same issue over and over again. It just means that we can square our shoulders and soldier on from time to time. We're resilient. We're strong. Even when we're having a pity party in the wee hours of the morning. Being human is strong. Showing emotion is strong. Forgiving others is strong. WE are strong.
M: 22.5 yrs
TT: Nov 12-Jan 13
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Member # 38958
| Posted: 5:40 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
It has been a rough week. You have expressed my sentiments much more eloquently that I could ever have done. Thank you, I feel less crazy now.
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."
Posts: 286 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 40488
| Posted: 10:45 PM, October 4th (Friday), 2013|
I feel like You are in my brain.. I am at 19 months and every day seems like more of a struggle. I am so so so tired. I want to get off this sick merry-go-round. I can't seem to get off and I feel like I am drowning in my own vomit..
Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore
Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
|Topic Posts: 40|